


Strictly Ballum

by AllyBallyBee



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Music, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 67,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26881942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyBallyBee/pseuds/AllyBallyBee
Summary: An AU where Ben Mitchell is a Strictly pro dancer and Callum Highway is a soap star who signs up for this year's competition
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, ben mitchell - Relationship
Comments: 152
Kudos: 239





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Smashing two of my favourite shows together - inspired by this wonderful fandom <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. I probably write for myself more than for an audience - I have the story buzzing round my head and need to give it some sort of order. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, though! 
> 
> Keeeeeep Dancing!

He felt hot breath on his ear as the words were whispered “How did you learn to dance like this?! I’m literally swept away!” He chuckled “Ah, well. I’m full of surprises me, you know”. The bride leaned back to face him now and stared into the pools of blue that were her groom’s eyes. “Seriously – it’s really hot when a man can dance, and I like it, but the last time we danced you had two left feet so what gives?” Callum laughed while he broke their embrace. He then addressed the crowd of guests who were in circle watching the couple dance. “Ladies and gentleman, I know you’re all gobsmacked at my graceful moves with my beautiful wife,” He paused as crowd all cheered and hollered, “but I couldn’t have done it without the help of a now friend and very special guest… Strictly pro, Mr Ben Mitchell!!! Where are you, Ben?! Step forward!” The bride squealed “Oh my God!” as a well-dressed man gracefully twirled and sashayed onto the dancefloor. 

“Annnnddddd CUT!! That was great everyone, take 5 for now, and we’ll position for the next shot. Thank you!” One of the Assistant Directors was shouting over the crowd. 

Callum took a deep breath as he quickly let go of his “bride”. How could you be an actress playing a part and still be a bridezilla, he thought. At that point, the guest of honour at the “wedding”, and guest star of the episode, grabbed Callum in a hug and said “So good to see ya mate! Glad I got here in time to see the final moves. Well done, I couldn’t fault it.” Callum blushed from his neck upwards and hoped the disco lights that were still flashing hid his embarrassment. “Well”, he said I s’pose it adds to the CV, but to be honest, I don’t think I’ll be winning “Strictly” anytime soon!” He made to continue speaking as Ben laughed but then another AD came from nowhere and pulled them to where they should stand for the next shot.

When all the scenes were in the can for the day, and everyone had changed out of costume and were heading home, Ben stopped outside Callum’s changing room door and gestured to knock, before hesitating and moving his hand to scratch the stubble on his chin instead. He swung round and then back again. As part of the storyline for the soap Callum was in, Ben had given him dance lessons in real life and he had loved it. Callum had been a great student, even though it was obvious he really hated it at first and was frustrated at being so clumsy, but Ben had to confess that he found the lanky stumbling quite endearing. His awkwardness had been gradually replaced with the beginnings of grace though. But that wasn’t why Ben wanted to knock the door. He wasn’t sure why to be honest. He just didn’t want this to be the last time he saw him. He thought better of it though. Callum was nice guy, one of the nicest guys he’d ever met. But he was straight, and Ben didn’t need to start crushing on straight guys. Well, not straight guys like Callum. 

He walked away and was just stepping out the main door when he heard Callum call his name. He pretended not to hear and kept going but within seconds he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Ben! Didn’t you hear me shout? Listen, you wanna grab a pint? There’s a great pub near me, 10 minute drive?” Ben smiled and before he could stop himself found his voice saying "Yeah, sure! I’m on foot anyway.” 

***

They drove in Callum’s car, which Ben instantly spotted was not only brand new, but the exact same make and model as his own. “Very nice!” he said. “When did you get this?” Callum blushed as Ben looked at him. “Why you blushing?!” Callum laugh coughed and flashed him a quick smile. “I, erm, well, since I last saw you, I finally passed my test and thought I’d treat myself. I’d seen yours at the dance studio, and when I had a test drive – I couldn’t resist it. You’ve got good taste!” Ben smiled as he said “I didn’t realise you couldn’t drive before! I thought you just didn’t drive cos you live in London. I don’t remember you saying anything about lessons or tests either." 

“I didn’t tell anyone – I was too embarrassed. When anyone found out I couldn’t drive, oh god, I was just so tired of everyone taking the piss. It was easier just to get it done.” 

“Well, congratulations!" Ben said before continuing "And if you need a tour of what all the bells and whistles do, just let me know.” They were soon sitting at a red light when Ben nudged Callum’s leg and said, “watch this.” He pulled at a small lever on his right-hand side and the front passenger seat instantly shot back and flat. Callum burst out laughing, the most sexy, warm laugh Ben had ever heard, and it was also contagious. The two men belly laughed until there was impatient tooting of horns behind them. Ben fumbled for the lever again so he could be upright, and as Callum pulled away from the lights, they were both still laughing.

They soon pulled up at Callum’s flat complex and then began to walk down to the local pub. “Nice little complex.” Ben remarked as they walked. 

“It’s just a rental for now.” Callum replied, as his face fell. Ben felt the sun had gone behind a cloud. “Just split up with my girlfriend. Let her stay in the old place.” 

“Oh, sorry to hear that mate.” Ben said, but he wasn’t really sorry at all. “I’m glad I showed you that little trick with the passenger seat then, for when you’re ready to get back in the game.” Callum’s face lit up like the sun coming back out as he burst into laughter again, remembering the scene. “Mate!” was all he could muster in between his hearty guffaws. 

Callum was at the bar getting the drinks in, while Ben found a quiet table in the corner. He watched Callum interact with the bartender, and then caught his breath as he saw the tall actor fumble, drop his change and bend over to pick up the coins that fell. “Jesus” he thought, as he gave a long exhale at the sight before him. He knew his mouth had said yes to this drink before he had time to engage his brain; it was hard to resist, but resist he must. He didn’t want this sweet, open and honest man thinking he was some sort of scrubby man slut, and he knew if he spent too much time with Callum, that’s exactly what he’d think. Same as everyone else did. For someone so in control of his life, something deep inside Ben knew - although could never admit – he’d only be able to control himself for so long around a guy like Callum. He snapped back to reality when his new ~~crush~~ friend placed their drinks on the table and then sat on the cushioned bench next to him. 

They chit chatted easily at first, and Ben commented on how much he liked the little pub they were in. It was small and cosy with slim windows with roller blinds, dark red patterned carpet and mahogany stained furniture. The kind of pub that would be a cool, dark sanctuary on a hot summer’s day, and also an inviting, almost hygge style shelter during a winter’s storm. “Yeah,” Callum was saying, “I’ve been spending a fair bit of time here since I moved. Not quite used to living on my own. I mean, I usually just sit by myself reading over scripts when I’m here, but the buzz around me – I don’t feel part of it, but I do feel better being around it. Feels kinda nice.” 

Ben nodded in agreement saying “Yeah, I live alone, and don’t get me wrong, I love it, love having my own space, but not if that’s all you have. People need people.” He sounded convinced when he said it, but if he was being honest, he didn’t think it was true about himself. He’d grown up in chaotic relationships with both his mum and dad, who only seemed to love him as an obligation, not from any parental instinct. The instinct that they both seemed to find so easy with his various and scattered half-siblings though. Needing people made him feel uncomfortable. “But, yeah, it can’t be easy adjusting if you’ve just come out a relationship. When you’re used to your girl clucking round ya.” He gave a weak laugh. 

Callum also gave a quiet chuckle. “Yeah, and the dog.” 

“What happened?” Ben probed gently. 

“I just left.” Callum’s voice was flat and low. “I…I dunno… I couldn’t…” Ben stayed silent as he fumbled for words. “I dunno why, if I’m honest,” he finally managed to say. “Even though she’s an amazing girl, smart and gorgeous - honestly, mate I was well punching – but it just didn’t feel right. But as lonely as I might get sometimes now, I still don’t feel anywhere near as alone as I did when I was with her. Does that make any sense? Don’t matter if it don’t. My friends don’t get it. It’s hard to explain…” Ben swallowed hard even though his drink was still on the table. It made total sense to him. He knew exactly what this gorgeous man in front of him felt. But, no, Callum surely was coming from a different place – Ben knew he could never be that lucky.

“Anyway,” Callum coughed. “There’s a reason I asked you for a drink. I hope you don’t mind. I feel a bit awkward to be honest, but I was hoping from some advice from ya?” Ben shifted in his seat, still intrigued in the conversation. Was this a dream? If it is, oh please don’t let me wake up just yet! he thought. “First of all, though, can I trust ya?” Ben nodded as he held his breath, not blinking once as he stared into ocean of the other man’s eyes, two blues that seemed to have some sort of magnetic force of their own. “I mean it Ben. If what I’m about to say gets out – I’ll know it was from you.” 

Ben swallowed down the slight offence he felt, and confirmed what Callum needed to hear. “I’m in this business called show as well.” he said. “And I ain’t one for kiss and tell. Believe me!” He gave Callum a wink at this to lighten the atmosphere. The tension was killing him.

Callum looked around before he leant in conspiratorially. “It’s about Strictly actually. I’ve been asked for this year."

Ben exhaled into a breathy, almost panicked laugh. "What?! That’s your big secret?! For fuck’s sake Callum! I don’t want to burst any ego bubbles mate, but I’ve been asked on for this year as well.” He gave another relieved laugh as his breathing went back to normal and then he took a sip from his drink. 

Callum look a bit hurt at first, but soon joined in the laughter. “Ha bloody ha” he said. “You know what they’re like about leaks around who contestants might be. Anyway, I haven’t said yes yet. I just wanted your opinion. I enjoyed learning what I did from you, the money’s good and let’s face it – I do have some time on my hands now. But I don’t want to do it if I’m gonna be first off or be laughing stock like the old newsreader bloke or that Anne Widdicombe.” He made eye contact and Ben could see genuine worry in his eyes. 

Ben paused and took another drink. “Honestly mate?, I think you’d be alright if you signed up. Wiv enough hard work you could place alright.” He paused again. “Depending on who the others are, you’d get as far as Halloween week. Maybe even Blackpool.” He paused again. Callum still looked concerned. “You wouldn’t make a fool of yourself.” Ben tried to assure him, and his voice was soft. “You did really well with our lessons, and though we were only focussing on a plain waltz, you improved quite quickly. Nah, mate. You should do it!” Ben was feeling relief, but also a bit of disappointment and embarrassment. Did he really think that Callum was about to come out to him. Here? No way. What an idiot. Of course Callum wasn’t gay. That was just wishful thinking on his part. Manifesting. But to have Callum on the show? Yeah. He could cope with that. It would be great actually. He would be at a distance, but he would still get to see him around. He’d also to see him in some pretty fucking sexy tight outfits too. He had already noticed that Callum didn’t mind a pair of tight jeans. Yeah. He could cope with that. “Yeah. Definitely! Do it! Tell me you’ll do it!” Callum sat back and relaxed his shoulders as he began to laugh again, the same hearty and warm infectious laughter he’d displayed earlier. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was the beginning of September, and Callum made his way to the studio for the live pairing of contestants. He’d taken Ben’s encouragement and signed up. He was nervous but looking forward to it. He _had_ enjoyed his few practice sessions with Ben, far more than he’d anticipated, so when his agent had called with the Strictly offer, he hadn’t dismissed it as quickly as he thought he would have done before. Ben had reassured him he wouldn’t come across as joke contestant, and his final, probably biggest reason, was it would actually fill up his time. A distraction from just sitting in that flat with his thoughts – or actually trying to bury _those_ thoughts that whirred round his head at million miles an hour.

***

The celebrities and dancers were all lined up on opposite sides of the dance floor as part of the glitzy launch episode that was transmitting live. Ben and Callum had bumped into each other backstage as they prepared to walk out. They hadn’t seen each other since the drink they shared so shook hands and half hugged and Ben couldn’t help the huge grin on his face. “Good to see ya! You’re gonna smash it!” he said to help an obviously nervous Callum relax. 

As they were lined up, Ben stared over at Callum just as he turned round and looked back. He gave him a smile and a wink before quickly focussing forward. 

Ben was paired up first, with some empty-headed Instagram make-up influencer called Piper. Although they all knew their pairings before the live show and he was giving his best showbiz smile, he still inwardly rolled his eyes. But, she was pretty enough, so hopefully that would keep them both in for a few weeks at least. He had already prepared himself not to win – however he was determined to at least have her be the one to show most improvement. The couple moved and stood at the side and Ben watched as Callum was paired up with Oxana, the tall Muscovite. He knew she was a good teacher and it was a good pairing. Callum might even make it to Musicals week with her. Well, as long as she kept off the Columbian marching powder, that was. 

The rest of the line up was the usual mix of soap stars, tv presenters, newsreaders, comedians and loser politicians, one of whom Ben hated. Esther was a Tory ex-MP who Ben hated as she had voted against SSM. Why was she so concerned about who he might want to marry? He would have felt sorry for whoever had to dance with her, but then he found out it was Anton. Any respect Ben had for him as a dancer had been cancelled out by his smugness. They all thought they were the best dancer, of course they did, but him... ugh. Good luck getting past Week 2, fuckers! There were a few that Ben thought were interesting. A new pro girl called Melania was paired up with Max Branning. She had quite a reputation on the dance circuit, while he was retired footballer whose own lothario reputation was the stuff of legend. Ben had laughed when he’d found they’d been put together. Whatever way it went for them, it was sure to be good TV and plenty of fodder for the gossip mags. Aljaz was paired up with a pretty soap actress called Tina Lewis who wasn’t very bright, but she didn’t need to be. She had been in the supporting cast of a couple of West End shows and her wife was in girl band, so she should be able to give a good account of herself. Karen had Shakil Kuzemi, a tennis player who, while on the upper ranks of British tennis, had yet to make an impact on any world stage. He was, however, young, fit and extremely easy on the eye, so had a massive teen following. Oti had an interesting partner. Mick Carter was a former hard man film actor who had turned his hand to gritty documentaries on real life hard men, so it was a surprise when he agreed. That said, he was rumoured to be light on his feet for such a big man. Johannes was the one who hit the jackpot though. He’d been paired with Chantelle Atkins, a top comedienne who stood a stunning 5”10 in her stocking soles was slender as reed and had been a gymnast as a young teen, before she’d broken her wrist and shoulder in a horrendous practice accident at 15. The breaks never healed properly but she had soon been snapped up by a big model agency and so graced catwalks around the world, before a fat old designer flung her off his show for gaining a pound between the Paris and Milan shows one year. Within 6 months of that, her witty brain and smart mouth decided to take her modelling experiences around the comedy club circuits and it wasn’t long before the panel shows had been ringing her phone off the hook. They were the hot favourites.

Once the episode was finished, they all went to the wrap party for a last hooray before the training began in earnest. Callum stood and chatted awkwardly with Oxana and Piper, who it seemed were Insta best friends. It also seemed they both liked tall, shy guys with big blue eyes. They had managed to back him into a corner when Mick and Max interrupted and saved the younger man from what he was sure would have been a terrifying fate. Callum breathed a sigh of relief, but as Max leaned in to speak, he had said, “don’t worry about those two son, you’ve got some real men here to care of them now” and he grinned lecherously as he slapped Callum’s back. The remark felt like a punch in stomach. Callum closed his eyes and just wished he’d never agreed to any of this. Jesus, they hadn’t even begun proper training. Then as he opened his eyes, he saw Johannes and Ben at the bar, they were laughing, and it looked to Callum like they were talking about him. He quickly looked away and thought “oh for fuck’s sake”. Ben was the one person he thought he could have relied on here. When he looked back though, he saw they both had gone. This really didn’t feel like his kind of party, so he made his excuses and headed for the door. He gasped at the fresh air when he stepped outside, walking through the car park out to the street to hail a taxi. As he stood waiting, a sleek black limo pulled up and the window rolled down. He leaned to see who it was and was greeted by Craig, one of the judges and he could see Johannes and Ben sipping champagne at the far side. “Darling, it was just ghastly in there, wasn’t it?” Callum laughed politely and nodded. “Well, we’re heading over to the Eagle darling, you’re _more_ than welcome to join us. As you can see, Ben is here so they don’t worry about guests being a little, _ahem,_ rough round the edges.” Callum felt his face flush and again politely laughed. “Nah, nah, you’re alright. Thank you though. I, eh, I’ve got some filming tomorrow morning, you know, with the day job? Best I head home. Keep a clear head.” Craig gave a petted lip at this response. “Okay darling” he said as he eyed Callum once more from the toe of his shoes to the top of his quiff, like he was eyeing up food. He then pressed the window to rise muttering to his fellow passengers “Ugh, boys. I fear the loss is ours entirely.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was early the next morning when Callum arrived to do the filming for his “day job”. His bosses had been really good about lessening his schedule to fit around intense Strictly schedule, but he knew he’d still be busy all day. He’d just walked into to the building, when the receptionist, Jim, called him over. “Callum! Skip wardrobe for now. You need to go up to office.” 

Callum queried “The office? At this time of the morning? What’s going on?!” 

Jim just shrugged and gestured with his eyes that he if he did know, he couldn’t say, and then nodded his head in the direction of “the office.” 

Callum felt uneasy as he walked up the stairs, before being told to sit in the waiting area. He was finally called in and was surprised to see that his own executive producer Katie, was sitting in the far corner, while at the meeting table sat all the Strictly producers, and surprisingly also his agent. “Errr, everything okay?” Callum was nervous but felt confused more than anything. 

“Relax, Callum.” his agent Erica, stood up and rubbed his arm. “You’re not in any trouble! Promise!” He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down. 

“It’s just there are some really tense faces around ‘ere.” 

One of the Strictly producers spoke up. “Callum, sorry but it’s quite a serious matter and it’s important that we speak to you before the news breaks. Basically, there was some “after” after party activity last night and, well, there’s been an accident that’s thrown us into a bit of chaos.” 

“Accident?!” Callum gulped, and for some reason a picture of Ben in the limo flashed into his mind. “What sort of accident? Is anyone hurt? What happened?!” 

“Well, details are sketchy for the moment, but Melania, Piper, Oxana and Max Branning have been involved in a crash. They’re alive, thank God, but they won’t be dancing. Not this series.” 

“Wait, you said Oxana? Riiiiiight. That’s why I’m here. I’m getting bumped off.” Despite, his panic at the wrap party he now felt disappointed. 

His agent then spoke up. “Actually, not quite.” She stared at the producers for a moment and then turned to face Callum again. “There are some details that aren’t sketchy Callum. They were in Max’s car and every single one of them were not only shitfaced, they were coked up the eyeballs. They won’t be able to keep it under wraps and it’s gonna be shitshow, but we’ve been brainstorming all night, and think we might have a solution. Something to bring the focus back to the show positively.” 

“Okay…” Callum said, but he was still feeling confused. “But where do I fit in?” 

“Well, as you heard – Piper was injured so she’s out too. That leaves Ben without a partner.” 

“Ben?!” Callum felt his throat go dry as he spoke. “You… you… you want me still to dance… but with Ben?!” 

One of the Strictly producers spoke again. “Look Callum. We’ve got an avalanche of scandal heading our way and we need to flip it. We’ve been under pressure for the last few series for a same sex couple and to be honest, we see this as a perfect opportunity. You and Ben are the two who have been left without a partner, and he’s taught you some steps already as part of your wedding storyline. You’re taller, so you’ll be the lead. We think it’s a really positive step. I’d remind you, you did sign a contract.” 

“But, I ain’t gay.” Callum blurted out as his heart was pounding in chest. 

A short, stocky woman producer who had been silent up til now sighed angrily. They had all been woken up at 3am with the bombshell and had been running around frantically since trying to fix the mess. She was tired and cranky. “For fuck sake! Tell me Callum, were you planning on fucking Oxana?!” 

“Whaaa?” He didn’t get to finish. 

The woman raised her voice “Were. You. Planning. To. Fuck. Oxana?” 

“No!” Callum’s voice was a squeak. 

“Right. Because you’re a professional. You understand it’s dance; it’s acting. It’s putting on a show. Are you a homophobe Callum?” 

“No!” he squeaked again. He coughed to deepen his voice. “Look, I only woke up an hour ago, and now I’m here getting tales of cocaine car accidents, I’ve not even had a cup of coffee and I’m being accused of being a homophobe?! There’s something wrong with you people!” 

Katie, his executive producer stood and spoke softly to calm the room. “You’re right, Callum. You’re right. Sorry. Look, Erica, why don’t you take Callum for a Starbucks and I’ll tidy up here.” 

Once he had finished his coffee, he had been more receptive to what Erica had to say. He was still angry about the homophobe remark, it had hurt him deeply. Erica however, managed to sooth him and it wasn’t long before she talked him round. She was right, he thought. It will be an amazing boost to his profile and that would be why he do it. The fact his partner would be Ben Mitchell was neither here nor there. 

***

Ben had also been hauled to _his_ bosses offices early in the morning. He didn’t need it. His coke days were behind him, but his drinking days were still in full swing. His head was pounding and he had yet to lift the RayBans from his eyes. He’d been shocked at the news of the accident, if not the circumstances, but even more shocked at their suggestion that he now dance with Callum. The show's budget had been tight this year, following the Covid disaster last year, so they had gambled (now much to their regret) not to have any real pros as back up dancers. 

“Please Ben. We’ve already lost one couple and the drug thing is gonna be bad. You always said you wanted to be in the first male same sex pairing.” 

That much was true, but Callum? Seeing him around every day was one thing, but dancing with him? Oh God no. That would end in disaster. Those eyes. Oh no. No. No. No. They had then played their ace. They really didn’t want to have to rejig the partners. Not now the pairing episode had aired, but it looked like they left him no option. They’d put Ben with Habiba, move Aljaz to Chantelle and let Johannes dance with Callum. Ben was nearly sick in his mouth. The prospect of Johannes running his hands all over Callum and wrapping his legs around him was too much to bear. He apologised for his hesitancy, he was “proper hungover and, well of course! It would be amazing to be the professional half of the first same sex couple.” Just God preserve him from those baby blues. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next day it was time for the first training session for the first show. All the contestants gathered at the studios to be assigned their dances for week, and the room was filled with low murmuring chatter. There was a heavy undercurrent of gossip. A few of the dancers were congratulating Ben on the big news though, while Callum had been grabbed by Mick who was giving him the full details on the events of the other night. It seems they had just dropped Mick off at a hotel before Max had been driving fully drunk, while trying to snort some coke lined up one of Melania’s feet. Max had told Mick that she had her left foot under his nose and her right leg stretched behind him so Oxana sitting in the back could take a line as well. The dress was short, underwear god knows where and then Piper’s hand had slipped through to “tickle” Mel all at the same time, and so they’d come flying off an embankment and the car ended up wrapped around a tree. Mick speculated that if they hadn’t been so shitfaced their injuries would have been worse than just a few broken bones. Callum’s face had flushed bright red creeping up from his neck as the story was told, and he looked around the room to try and find Ben so he could try and get away from Mick. He spied him but then saw that Ben seemed again in cahoots with Johannes, and, again, it looked like they were laughing and talking about him. “Oh for fuck’s sake” he thought. Again. Mick was still talking, but Callum had tuned out.

Over at the other side of the room Johannes and Ben were indeed talking about Callum. “Who’s dick ya suck?” the soft South African voice had whispered. 

Ben gave a belly laugh. “I beg your pardon?” 

“You get to rub your penis on that big tall drink of water for the at least the next four weeks and you didn’t perform any sexual favours for the opportunity? I don’t believe you”. 

Ben side-eyed him , lasciviously drew his gaze the full length of Callum and then side-eyed once more. “Seeing as you’ve been a very good boy this year Johannes, I’m gonna let you watch me do it too.” With that he sauntered off, dramatically swinging his hips. He was in turmoil inside though. Johannes was right; he _was_ going to spend a lot of the next four weeks wrapping his legs round Callum. Four weeks _at least._ Oh god. Why did this opportunity have to be Callum?

***

They had been given American Smooth as their first dance and Callum had been confident at first, as he hadn’t realised it actually involved steps from about a million other dances. His face fell and Ben felt his heartstring tug as somehow Callum made upwards seal pup eyes at him, despite being far taller. Ben explained that the dance pick was actually lucky. “Look, this is a jackpot dance to get first. We’ve got two weeks to work on it and we’ll cover steps from both Waltzs, Foxtrot, Tango and Quickstep. It’ll be okay. I ain’t gonna let you lose, okay?” Callum nodded and then managed to crack a smile. Ben continued his pep talk and assured him that despite all the bravado, all the others were feeling exactly the same. Worse probably, as he was younger and in better shape than most of them, so he immediately had an advantage. “But let’s see exactly how fit you are – this ain’t gonna be just learning some steps like before. You’re gonna have to carry me, catch me, hold and fling me about like a ragdoll” Ben coughed before carrying on “everything you’ve seen on the show before – just because you’re dancing with a guy doesn’t mean we’re not doing all the flash stuff. It’s the flash stuff that’s gonna win this for us. You ready?!” Callum smiled weakly. Ben raised his voice. “I said…ARE YOU READY?!” Callum’s face lit up as he burst out laughing. “Sir, yes Sir!” he hollered back as he straightened his posture. Oh for fuck’s sake thought Ben. Baby blue responds well to orders? How much temptation was he gonna have to take for this series?! He began to realise how all the hetero couples had ended up in so much trouble. He’d deleted his hook up app a few months before after a couple of dodgy turn ups, but he was thinking now that he would maybe need to download it again. He hadn’t even touched Callum yet and his cock was stirring. “Lord, give me strength” he offered up in silent prayer as they began their warm up. 

***

Ben knew as progressive as the UK may be, there was little chance of a same sex couple making it to the final, as much as the gays loved Strictly, there was a big families and pensioners following too. He had chosen not to let himself feel any pressure about it. If he wasn’t going to win then he _was_ going to enjoy it. He had re-installed the app, and hit upon a youngish but tall, slim guy with pre-requisite blue eyes, short back and sides and well gelled top mop. The boy subsequently had been quite astonished at the heated way Ben had literally ravished him all night. From the minute he had set foot in the guy’s flat, Ben had pounced, and he had played, licked, tickled, sucked, bit, nibbled and fucked him, what felt like countless times. The first time, he had pushed his cock into the hot willing mouth in front of him and begged the blue eyes look up so he could watch him as he did so. It was only a short time however before Ben had closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and whispered a mumbled name softly under his breath as he came, and came hard. He recovered quickly and took his time on the second round, keeping his eyes closed all the while he moaned orders, caring only for his own fantasies and pleasure. When his balls finally felt empty, he tapped into his phone and got a taxi to come, almost as fast as he had in that mouth earlier.

It worked for him though. He was refreshed and felt calmer than he had in while when he turned up to the studio the next morning. Callum spotted the lightness in his mood, but didn’t comment. He was enjoying the sessions and being put through his paces. It turned out he’d always had a bit of rhythm, but was just completely unaware of it. He guessed that’s what happened when your dad beat the shit out of you in the kitchen for dancing to S Club 7 on the radio. Ben made him laugh, which in turn made him relax. He was picking up the dance steps quickly and he felt good watching himself in the mirrored wall swing his hips. 

The next again day, Ben had turned up with coffee and breakfast rolls and sat Callum down to talk about the dance. “Look, I’ve just about finished the choreography” he said as he chewed, “and the producers have okayed my song choice. I’ll dance it through to the music while you watch, and then we’ll get cracking committing it to memory.” Callum watched as Ben walked and talked the dance to him, moving gracefully. Once he’d done, Callum stood up, eager to get started, but Ben stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Before we start, take your shoes off.” Ben enjoyed giving him orders rather than asking politely. Callum looked a bit perplexed. “C’mon now, I said OFF!” 

He got a smile as a reward but Callum still asked “We’ll be wearing shoes on the night though right?” 

“Yes!” laughed Ben in return. “C’mon n hurry up. Right stand here and close your eyes.” Callum did as he was told, peeking only once as he heard Ben shuffling around him. Ben had only gone to re-start the music though and was soon standing at Callum’s back. “Right, close your eyes” he said as he took Callum’s hand in his and brought both round to place over Callum’s heart. The next thing Callum felt his knees go as Ben pushed them from behind. They both laughed as Ben spoke quietly to him, telling to loosen his legs. The filler song finished and their show song came on. Ben then whispered in Callum’s ear, as he place his other hand around his waist. “I want you to hear the music with your body, Callum,” and then he paused for a moment. “Feel the vibrations coming through the floor” he said, “and let your heart pull the rhythm out.” and he gently circled their hands over Callum’s heart, in time to the music. Callum felt he was in a trance. He could hear the words of the song, but it was like the music had faded. He focussed hard and then began to feel _something_ but he didn’t know what it was; he didn’t know if this is how listening to music with your body felt, but it was physical and he was soon lost in the sensation. The music finished, and began to play again, but this time Ben spoke softly all the way through, gently whispering the all steps of the dance, but again they didn’t move. Only when the music stopped for a second time did Ben begin to gently sway their hips, so as the vocals started a third time, he had slipped around in front of Callum and they began their dance, as Ben continued to recite the steps. 

When it concluded, Callum shook his head. “What the fuck was that?!” he said, but his voice was soft. “You got some sort of voodoo skills or something?! You didn’t do that before!” 

“We weren’t dancing for Strictly before” Ben answered with a small laugh. “It’s how I was taught to dance” he continued. “I’m deaf y’see” and he pulled out a tiny digital hearing aid from his left ear. 

“What?!” Ben raised an eyebrow before realising Callum was too pure to have said it as a joke. 

“Well, I’m not totally deaf, maybe more ‘ard of ‘earing, but when I first started lessons I’d miss beats or steps. It was so frustrating because all I wanted to do ever was dance. I never realised when I danced in the house I was missing beats. One of the dance teachers then taught me to use my other senses to hear it. Proper dance floors are sprung so you can actually feel the vibrations, even if you don’t know it at first. Ain’t missed a beat since.” 

“I wish you’d told me this before” Callum said. 

“Well, I don’t go around introducing myself as the deaf dancer, but it ain’t a secret” Ben began to grumble. 

“No, not about the deafness! About the feeling. I’ve never felt anything like that in my life before! It was effear….eff… like being a ghost or spirit” 

Ben laughed. “You mean ethereal?” 

“Yeah, that. I need a moment. Wow.” and with that Callum walked out the studio still shaking himself, as if he was dreaming but knew he had to wake up. Ben leaned against the wall and slowly exhaled. He gave Callum five minutes before he went out to find him. He was sitting slumped at a wall just outside the main door and was sipping water from a bottle. 

“You forgot summink” Ben said as he too slid down the wall beside him. 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Callum swigged again at the bottle before offering it to Ben, who accepted gracefully. 

He nudged Callum and said “you never missed a step either. That was the first time you danced that, and it was perfect” Callum smiled and the daylight highlighted the dimples in his cheeks. Ben looked and wondered how he had ever missed them before. He looked further up and Callum’s eyes swamped his gaze. It was then Ben’s turn to shake himself free and he quickly rose to standing. He proffered his hand and said “C’mon. This is just the first quickstep on a long road.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I've set up a Strictly Ballum playlist on Spotify, with the songs they dance to. I'll add each song as the dance chapter gets uploaded. I hope you like the choices! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2d7cujfiVkGKY39lj4FL?si=BqhafEMOTmuoCU3uQFcXdg&utm_source=copy-link

It was the first of the live shows and Ben had obviously been involved in the opening number. When he had finished, he had quickly run to wardrobe to get his tux on and then went to find Callum. He tracked him down to a bathroom back-stage, where he was currently throwing up. Ben gave him privacy at first but eventually gently rapped on the door and asked if he was alright. “Yes” was the wobbly reply.“ 

“We’re on Cal, c’mon let’s go.” 

Callum emerged, ashen faced. Ben immediately was concerned. “Shit! Are you okay to do this?!” although he was beckoning a make-up artist over as he spoke. The artist immediately went to work, fluffing a bronze dusted Kibuki brush over his face, while holding a large cloth napkin to protect Callum’s tux. 

Once she was done, Callum took a mouthful of water, rinsed and spat in a nearby bin. “Right, I’m ready.” 

“What was that all about?!” Ben said.

“I always throw up before a live performance. Last minute nerves.” Ben didn’t look fully convinced. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine now. I’m a pro!” Callum gave a wink as he spoke. Ben tilted his head like a confused puppy.

“Did you just wink?” 

“Yeah, why?” and Callum winked again. Only he didn’t wink. He maybe thought he did, but what Ben saw was a wink/blink where both eyes closed, just one more tightly than the other. He thought he had never seen anything quite as endearingly cute/sexy in his life. “Oh for fuck’s sake” he thought. 

***

** American Smooth **

**“Marvin Gaye” – Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor**

Both men wore tuxedos with tails, and both had red AIDS awareness ribbon on their lapels, and red cummerbunds. They stood on the dancefloor in the same position as they were the very first time they went over the steps. Callum in front while Ben circled his waist and held both their right hands over Callum’s heart. Ben whispered low in Cal’s ear “remember, don’t hear the music, feel it” as he gently drew a circle with their hands, just once.

The song began and they both swayed before Ben moved round in front of Callum as before, and they stepped off waltzing. The audience applauded as they usually do, but Callum couldn’t hear it. They parted and did the steps as they had rehearsed and rehearsed. The song was light and fun and their faces reflected it, both with flirty grins and sparkling eyes. Words about beds and the Kama Sutra floated in the air and as his partner spun away, Ben pulled at his partner’s cummerbund which had been velcro’d, so Callum was now unfurling like a circus ribbon acrobat before he stopped and then tugged at the ribbon, pulling Ben back towards him. The vocalist was singing about loving eyes, pulling closer and being in trouble. 

They both had an end of the cummerbund as they danced apart they looped another AIDS awareness ribbon on the floor. They waltzed before parting, gliding away then finding each other as Ben jumped into Callum’s hands and the taller man proceeded to lift him above his head and spin around as Ben starfished. The crowd roared their approval, but Callum was now too focussed on bringing his partner back to earth; feeling him swirl around his body as if Ben himself was a ribbon, deliberating tangling Callum up. At a softer moment, they were close in like the Tango, eyes searing into each other as Ben gently rubbed the outside of his hand down Callum’s cheek. As the music was finishing, Ben was spinning while also twirling a full 360 around the taller before Callum swept him off his feet with his strong arms before flipping him round his body, with Ben ending up on the diagonal as Callum leaned in. 

The two men hugged tightly as the crowd went wild. Ben buried his face in Callum’s neck inhaling his scent of soap and sweat while trying to take in the crowd’s reaction. He absorbed it for a few seconds; the smell and heat of Callum as well as the applause, before his gnawing lack of self-esteem popped up to remind him they would be cheering for Callum, not him. And Callum was hugging his dance partner, not “Ben”. This was typical of Ben’s thinking though. He’d get excited about something, give it his all, love it and be so proud but he then he would be just so terrified of criticism or rejection that the minute the project, or dance, or relationship finished he had to make out it didn’t matter. That nothing mattered. That way the blows, when they inevitably came, didn’t penetrate quite so deep. 

He snapped out of it as Callum finally released him and shook him hard by his arms. “How good was THAT!” he said. Ben looked up and Callum’s face was beaming with glee and a sheen of sweat. He radiated positivity and joy at their performance and Ben allowed himself to be swept back up in it a little, but not for the show, purely for Callum. He grinned back at him as they walked over to Tess the presenter, who was waiting for them at the judges’ panel. As he walked, Callum took his hand. Ben caught his breath and instinctively he took his free hand and placed it over Callum’s, rubbing gently.

They had been the sixth couple up, so their first judge was Motsi. She beamed at them and went on to say how blown away she was, it was a great start, and how they made some of it look effortless. She commented on Callum’s timing a little bit, and Ben felt insulted as if it was his own timing she’d criticised. He kept the smile plastered on his face however, as Shirley read from her scribbles and while no error ever got past her, she was really positive towards Callum, giving good advice and he could see Cal was trying hard to take it all in. Bruno then leapt out his chair, which toppled over for the first, if not the last, time of the series. He moved round and then jumped to embrace both Ben and Callum as tight as he could. He had tears in his eyes as he told them both how much he loved them, how proud he was and how good the dance was. He composed himself as he sat back down, and made only one tiny criticism before flipping it round to a positive. Bruno’s hug had broken the hand hold though, and Ben felt a bit lost without it. 

The big one now, as they had to face Craig’s opinion. Ben had hung out with him a few times – it was nice to be driven in a limo, sip champagne and get VIP treatment in every top gay club in London. The pickings were always richer in places like that. Visually as well as financially. However, it was less friendship and more like hanging out with the teacher who always tried to be cool with the kids. Their acquaintance would have no bearing at all on his judgment. Ben was standing to the left side of Callum and just slightly behind him and before Craig spoke he felt Callum fumble to catch his hand again. Ben’s stomach flipped and he took a deep breath. He slipped his left hand out for Callum to grab. He didn’t even realise the reason he’d given his left hand was that his right was gently rubbing soothingly at Callum’s back. A gesture that was actually more to sooth himself. 

Callum felt maybe Craig had lost his voice. Why was he just staring at him and not saying anything? It felt like an eternity. Finally, he spoke. “Gentlemen,…. That was…. actually quite good” Ben’s frame was immediately swamped by Callum who whispered “I think I might cry” as he hugged. Ben laughed and was raising his hand to touch Callum’s face to feel for tears, before checking himself. He chastised himself in his head, and then moved to stare attentively at Craig. The rest of the remarks sounded typical Craig, but he could only really focus on Callum holding his hand. He’d watch it back tomorrow and take what he needed from it then. 

They did the run up the stairs to Claudia, and both men were mobbed by the other dancers. There was genuine affection and pride for them. There probably wasn’t one gay dancer, male or female, who hadn’t experienced abuse growing up. “Oh are you the woman or the man then?” “Watch your backs, lads, here comes Billy Elliot”. However, the circuit was tight and while populated with divas, frail egos, jealous hearts and more than its fair share of cat fights, no-one stood for homophobia. Ben felt good at the warmth of the scrabble, particularly when he felt Callum’s arm around his back. They managed to wriggle free and did the quick chat about how they felt about their performance. Callum was still on cloud nine and broke out his laugh again. 

Ben realised then, Callum’s laughter, well, it was turning into his kryptonite. He had no power over it and had to just let it wash over him. It felt like a champagne bottle popping open inside him everytime he heard it. 

Time for the scores and Callum once more, grabbed Ben’s hand. Ben then felt himself wobble as Johannes bent his knees into him while he whispered “Lucky fucker” in Ben’s good ear. Ben couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear.

Craig: 6

Motsi: 8

Shirley: 7

Bruno: 8

WEEK ONE: 29


	6. Chapter 6

In-between all the snippets and sound bites they needed to do, Callum pulled Ben aside. He was still buzzing and his eyes were like saucers, but Ben knew at least it was natural adrenaline, not any dodgy substances. 

“Oh my fucking God, Ben that was INCREDIBLE” and he grabbed him in another bear hug. Ben didn’t know how long he could cope with this much physical contact outside the actual dancing. He’d gone from slight fancy to turbo crush in record time, and it was only Week 1. He buried his face into Callum anyway though, and inhaled his sweet scent once more. When they broke apart, Callum carried on bubbling over with excitement – rapidly firing questions about his performance and what the judges had said and what did Ben think, and did he hit all his cues and… and…

Ben placed his hands on his arms. “Callum. Callum. We can deal with all that tomorrow. Slow down and breathe. Why don’t you tell me how you _felt._ How did it _feel_ when you danced?” 

Callum took a deep breath, but it didn’t stop him babbling. He repeated “Incredible! It was… it was totally different to rehearsals. I felt like we really connected. Did you feel it? Ha! Course you did. I ain’t never felt like when I’ve danced before. That trick you use to get in zone. Wow. Still. I’m buzzing. Buzzing!” Ben shuffled his feet and looked at the floor as Callum spoke before raising his eyes to meet those blues once more. 

Ben then gave a soft laugh and said “Okay babe, look just enjoy it. But you might feel at bit flat later, when the adrenaline wears off, okay?” 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be cool” Callum replied, but was still like an over excited puppy. Ben cringed though – he had just called Callum “babe” “For fuck’s sake, Ben” he thought to himself.

***

As Ben predicted, the excitement wave _did_ crash for Callum later that night when he got home. Most contestants got carried away after the first live dance. The pro’s knew the deal, but every year the contestants always found it hard at the beginning. Also, they never fully realised how intense the schedule for Strictly actually was - it was one of the reasons there was never an elimination for the first week. 

Callum was exhausted and slept so hard and deep that when he woke up in the morning, he felt quite disorientated. He was also surprised that he was still in the joggies and hoodie he had worn to and from the studio. He checked his phone as he padded to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Ben had texted him earlier, but it was to tell him to take the day off. He said he would go alone to find out the dance choice for next week, and just see him Monday morning. Callum didn’t text back right away. He was feeling a bit empty after reading the message (had he felt empty before it?), although he was glad to have the day off. He felt weird, like he was hungover even though he hadn’t drunk any alcohol. His memory of the previous evening was hazy too. He felt his face flush as he recalled how excited he was and how much he had babbled to Ben. He gave a soft laugh to himself as the thought that Ben had called him “babe” entered his head. Why would he imagine that?! He didn’t know Ben that well, but he knew they were similar in that they both came from rough backgrounds before escaping to work in the entertainment industry. He wasn’t a “babe” “darling” “sweetheart” or “luvvie” type of guy. Callum shook his head and returned to his bedroom, taking his clothes off this time before he slipped back into bed. He needed more sleep. Before he closed his eyes though, he messaged Ben back. “If you’re sure x”

***

Ben, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. He needed to get a grip. So much for not feeling any pressure and just enjoying it. Every time he closed his eyes, he only saw Callum’s face and felt his dick twitch. It was only Week 1 for Christ’s sake. He growled with frustration, got out bed, went to the living room and put their dance on the TV. He hoped focussing on the technical stuff might help. It didn’t. He ended up transfixed watching Callum and remembering how good it felt when he looked at Ben that way, or touched him this way. He growled in frustration again before grabbing his phone. He found the guy from the other night and started typing.

“you still up?”

“yeah! 😊”

“up for a visitor?”

“yeah! Need some luvin?”

“15 mins. OMW”

He didn’t even remove his clothing when he got there. The transaction would be purely perfunctory. He only slid his joggies and boxers down before he pulling the younger boy’s head in to suck him off. He moaned and muttered “Jesus, you’re good at that” as the mouth salivated over his cock and the tongue brushed into his slit. It was enough encouragement though and he immediately felt the sucking get stronger as his length butted at the back of the guy’s throat. Ben closed his eyes, and Callum’s face haunted him once more. This time though, he kept his eyes closed and lost himself the vision. He grabbed his hook-up on the sides of his head to control him, while he increased his rhythm. He thrust harder and faster until he came, breathing raggedly as he did and moving his stance to stop himself falling over. His knees were weak with relief. 

“Okay, your turn, lie on the bed” Ben suggested to who the guy who had really only been Callum’s proxy. Ben lay beside him and took his dick in his hand and whispered, “So, Mr hardnsoft22.Tell me your fantasies.” It was the least he could do, to make the boy cum. Ben wasn’t _that_ selfish, but he _was_ selfish enough he’d make him do most of the work though….

As soon hardnsoft22had fantasised himself to climax, Ben was up and away. He said thanks, gave him a wink and was then gone. The boy looked a little forlorn as he left, but Ben hadn’t looked back to see it. He drove home and eventually did get to sleep. Before he closed his eyes though, he had messaged Callum and told him he’d “danced well, worked really hard and so take the day off.” He keyed and deleted “x” about five times before his final deletion, and then hit send. They’d spent so much time together every single day for the last two weeks - it was Ben who needed the day off. From Callum.

***

Ben sloped into the dance meet which was always arranged for noon on the first Sunday. Oti and Karen both shot over to him when he arrived and gushed about how good the dance was. “Oh my god, it was just soo good to see!” said Oti. “You did good, boy. You did good. You should be really proud” and she laughed and kissed him on the cheek. Karen enthused similarly, before linking arms and asking for lowdown on his partner. Ben remarked on Karen’s own partner, eyeing the subject up cheekily. “Yes, yes, he is hot too, but too young! That baby face! I don’t want to go to prison!” 

They sat round the table and Johannes slipped in next to Karen. “Where is baby blue?” were his first words. 

“Gave him the day off. Dunno why they get the contestants in for this anyway. There’s nothing for them to do but get under our twinkle toes.” 

Johannes laughed a dirty laugh. “Aw, is your peepee tired trying to get his attention?” Ben drew him daggers. He loved Johannes. Genuinely. But he was getting on his last nerve right now. Johannes gasped and jumped back in his seat as if he had just been shocked, before laughing dirtily again. Oti and Karen just rolled their eyes – they had heard them banter like this often and didn’t think anything off it. They both changed the subject by congratulating Johannes on his own performance. He had danced the Foxtrot with Chantelle, and it had been a thing of beauty. They had danced like they were on skates and hit a score of 35 with three eights and a seven from Craig. The bar for the series had been set early, and it had been set high.

Ben and Callum and been selected for the Samba for next week’s live show. Ben was happy it was Latin, he preferred it over traditional ballroom any day, but had hoped for a waltz or something similar before getting Callum to swing his hips seductively. “For fuck’s sake” he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Callum’s lazy Sunday had helped him recover from his come down and he arrived bright and breezy at the dance studios early on Monday morning. He had bought himself a coffee en route, together with two doughnuts to share with Ben later. He was surprised to see that Ben was there before him, with papers and sketches laid out, looking quite focussed. 

Callum spoke first “Sorry, I thought I’d be here first, so I didn’t get you any coffee.”

“S’alright.”

Callum noticed Ben’s response was brusque, but he didn’t comment. He just said “Gotcha a doughnut though. You know, for later.” 

“Later?”

“Elevenses.” 

“Nice, you’re gonna need the calories – we have Samba this week.” 

“Yes!” and Callum grinned as he continued “Gonna get the chance to shake my booty then?” and he laughed while shaking said bum. The laugh. Ben’s newly invented forcefield to try and keep Callum at a distance had shattered at the first assault. His body instantly relaxed as he couldn’t help but laugh himself.

They went over the VT from Saturday night and Ben pointed out the errors, explaining why they happened and how to concentrate so in future he could avoid the missteps that put his timing out. Once that was covered, he got up to show Callum this week’s steps and talk him through it. 

As Ben looked at Callum though he saw his face was flushed and he looked uneasy. “You alright, Cal?”

“Eh, I, em, I…” Callum coughed as he heard his voice come out a few octaves higher than normal. “I, yeah, um, the dog – she’s not well. Said I’d call and check on her… Quick call, yeah?” 

Ben looked puzzled but just nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

Callum stepped out in the fresh air, placing his arm on the wall and leaning forward. He felt dry hot and nauseous. He had done what Ben had told him and had taken the whole of Sunday off. This meant he hadn’t watched the show back. He didn’t like watching himself anyway, so thought he’d wait til Ben talked him through it, pointing out only the real errors and not the hundreds of imagined ones that Callum would have had in head. He hadn’t anticipated seeing himself like that though. As he’d watched himself, his subconscious remembered, and his body replicated the feelings he experienced at the time. When he looked at Ben. The way he felt when he looked at Ben… Oh no.

Ben finally tired of waiting so went looking for Callum. They only had a week to rehearse the dances now, and this was gonna be an extravaganza. He stepped outside and saw Callum was still talking on the phone, although he stopped speaking when he saw Ben. Ben shrugged and then gestured “inside” with his head. Callum nodded and did eventually step back in the dance studio, but he’d taken his time. 

Ben got Callum to pick some random playlist on Spotify so they could warm up and hopefully relax him a bit. He’d never had any pets growing up so guessed he couldn’t really imagine how tense a person could get when their dog was ill. He hadn't seemed worried when he'd arrived earlier though... 

They stiffly went through the basics of the routine, Ben trying not to get wound up over Callum’s seeming lack of enthusiasm, until he fumbled a step and they both went sprawling. 

“What is WRONG with you today?” Ben shouted. “Is this how uptight people get about their pets?! Although you seemed fine when you got here this morning. How d’ye know he got sick. I dunno what’s going on with ya, but go see ‘im or go and get laid or something but we ain’t dancing this Saturday like this.” 

Callum stood back in shock at the outburst, but only for a second. “What, I have one off-day and you need to pull a diva strop on me?!” He was shouting back. “Actually one off-STEP! So, I messed it up and we fell, get over it. Maybe that’s why it’s called rehearsing. I’ll get it, alright. For fuck’s sake, it’s only Monday!” He took a breath and then added in a softer tone “I don’t need to see the dog. And he’s a she. She’s alright.” 

“You might still need to get laid though” Ben quietly replied, with a slight grin. He couldn’t help himself; shouty Callum was hot. Callum laughed and they both relaxed their shoulders. 

The assumed the starting position to the dance once more and began again. They were oblivious to the fact that there had been an audience to their little spat though, as Oti and Johannes crept away from the studio door where they had been observing through the glass. 

“When did you know?” Oti asked as she linked arms.

“From the first time I watched that soap he’s in.” Johannes answered. “I didn’t think it possible, but it just might be that those two are going to be last to know.”

He and Oti both burst into loud and lusty laughter as they left the building.

***

Ben felt better about rehearsals the next day, but unfortunately it seemed Callum’s mood had reverted back to that of before their spat. He managed to keep it together though and they got through the steps without any mishaps, although Ben knew it was missing a spark. Knew Callum was missing a spark. He couldn’t work him out.

They warmed down, showered quickly and then walked over to the wardrobe department. Ben had dropped off his costume sketches the day before and this would be the first fitting. The wardrobe mistress, Linzi, pulled out what they had rustled up so far and Ben’s face fell as he watched Callum react. Callum look both terrified AND horrified. “You’re kidding?!” 

“What?!” Ben replied. “It’s Samba! No tuxes this week. You have seen this show before?!” 

Callum looked a bit sheepish. “Eh, yeah, sorry. I, um, I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be quite, so… so…..”

“so… so… Gay, baby?” Callum jumped as Johannes walked in and threw in his opinion. “That’s not gay, baby. It’s Carnival. Hmmm, okay maybe a bit baby gay. But definitely more Carnival.”

Callum face was beetroot and he had his hands clenched at his side, digging his nails into his palms. Ben spoke next “It’s a Samba, Callum. We don’t have girls in dresses for sparkle and focus, so we need to think out the box a bit. Tell me, what would make it feel more comfortable for you to wear?” 

“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to dance in those feathers!” Callum cried out. 

Linzi meanwhile, was bent over with laughter as Johannes had taken the feathers and held them like a Native American headdress, and began to twirl and holler. “We make manly for you” he said gruffly to Callum, who honestly didn’t think this situation could get worse. 

Ben rolled his eyes. “That’s just for the entrance Callum. The dance itself will just be the trousers.” 

“Just trousers?!”

“Yes.”

“No top.”

“No top.”

“I need a top.”

“No top, Callum. You’re buff enough, don’t sweat it. The grannies will all be throwing their bloomers at you.”

“No, no. You don’t understand.” Callum’s voice was pleading now. He grabbed Ben’s arm and pulled him into a corner, while drawing daggers at both Linzi and Johannes who had their elbows on the worktop and were imitating eating popcorn.

“Ben!” Callum was whispering but it was through gritted teeth.

“What IS it Callum. You got a scar or something?”

Callum was blinking excessively and couldn’t look Ben in the eye. “I know I’m not fat, I know, I’m slim, but… I can’t be shirtless. I’ve got… I have…” he was flushed from his chest to the tips of ears with discomfort. 

“What?! What you got, Callum?!”

Poor Callum was looking everywhere but to Ben.

Defeated, he said quietly, “moobs, Ben. I’ve got moobs.”

Ben started to laugh, but then realised he was being serious. “You don’t have moobs, Callum. Believe me, I’d have noticed if you did.”

“You ain’t seen me shirtless.”

Ben looked at him tenderly. “I ain’t, you’re right. But can you trust me that I’d know anyway if you had moobs?” 

Callum’s eyes closed as he just wished the ground would swallow him up. Ben placed his hand on Callum’s chest and rubbed gently, feeling nipples become erect through the fabric of the his shirt. Ben also felt the stirrings of something on his own body become erect as a trickle of sweat ran down his back – it was getting hot in this corner. “You know I’m more of a moobs than boobs man so you can trust me, okay? Your chest feels good to me.” Ben coughed “I mean, it’s fine. It don’t feel like moobs.” 

“Ben,” Callum was looking him straight at him now, with his eyes pleading “Please don’t make me dance shirtless. I can’t do it. Please.”

Ben was overcome by the urge to reassure him. He was hypnotised by the worry in Callum’s soft blue eyes and he found himself leaning in, glancing down to his lips. Just as he did so though, he heard Linzi and Johannes stage cough from behind him. He tore his gaze away, turning back towards the “audience” and said, “Linz – we’re going to need to add a little something to the costumes. 

***

Callum was still feeling mortified as he waved goodbye to Ben before he sped out the car park like a racing driver. Once he was a bit further down the road however, he pulled over and broke down in tears.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance tracks here: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2d7cujfiVkGKY39lj4FL?si=mmbSlz5VQmaWYlF4khhmig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this hasn't been updated before now. I had a worddoc disaster and lost about four chapters worth of work :( It hadn't been saving to cloud either and I've been unable to recover anything, so had to start from scratch. I confess, even knowing the story and where it goes, I struggled! 
> 
> I sooo appreciate all the kudos and comments you've taken the time to add. I hope what is here is worthy and that you enjoy it as much as my own imagination does.

Ben was first to arrive the next day and was pleased to see the wardrobe elves had been working their magic overnight. Once Callum turned up they did a full dress rehearsal in the studio. They both stood in front of the mirrored walls, Ben cautious to see how Callum would react. “Do you feel better now with the chest coverage?” he asked. 

“I don’t know if I’d say I feel _better_ , but I do feel more comfortable, so thank you” Callum replied. “A bit like dressing up for panto, I guess” he added with a smile. 

“Oh no, it isn’t.” Ben couldn’t help himself. Callum gave his gutsy laugh that made Ben’s knees weak, and so the tension cracked a little and they both relaxed enough that a little bit of the spark showed again in their dance. They practiced hard and then spent a bit of time at the show’s dance floor working with their props. 

Showered and changed, they left the building just behind Oti and Mick, and walked over to where their cars were parked. Usually. Ben stopped suddenly when he saw a space where Callum’s car usually was. “Hey, no car today? I can give you a lift! Jump in!” and he pressed for the doors to unlock. 

Callum shifted where he stood and mumbled that it was okay, and his ride was due any minute. 

“Oh, right” Ben said, but it was more of a question. 

“Eh, yeah, I, umm...” Callum coughed to clear the awkwardness in his throat. 

“You what? Pranged it?! Oh my God, you didn’t crash it did you?!” 

“No, no, no! Nothing like that. No. I, erm, yeah I took your advice actually, Ben” 

“I don’t remember giving you any advice” Ben said, beginning to feel ill at ease. 

“Yeah, you did. Yesterday..” before he could finish though, he was lit up by headlights entering the car park. Ben looked and saw it was Callum’s car. 

“What advice?!” Ben exclaimed, rising panic in his voice. 

“Get laid. You said I should get laid or something, so I, eh” and just at that, the car pulled up next to him and his (supposed to be ex) girlfriend leapt out the driver’s seat. “Hey honey!” she breezed as she threw the keys for Callum to catch. “How was your day?!” and she walked up and kissed him a greeting on the lips. 

“Yeah, samba-tastic" Callum’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he was shaking his tush trying to seem carefree. 

“Hey, I’m Whitney!” she smiled at Ben, but was an OG mean girls smile if he ever saw one. 

“I’m shattered actually Whit, let’s go,” Callum pulled himself away and walked round to the driver’s side after opening the passenger door for the (supposed to be ex) girlfriend. 

“See ya tomorrow” he shouted to Ben as he got in the car and revved the engine, much to Whitney’s squealing delight. 

Ben hadn’t moved a muscle throughout the whole interaction. He just stood, mouth agape, as the car with two occupants pulled out the exit. 

\--- 

At the other side of the car park Oti’s phone lit up. 

“WTF 😱” 

“no lie I SAW” 

“🧔” 

“😭” 

\--- 

Ben eventually shook himself back to reality and drove home, stopping only to buy a bottle of whisky en-route. 

In the morning, Ben woke up on the sofa bleary eyed and with a mouth full of sawdust. He fumbled to switch off the alarm on his phone, peering, trying to make out the time. Fuck, he must have slept through half a dozen snoozes. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom to shower quickly. On the way, he thought better of rushing though. He walked slowly and it felt like his head might burst open when he leaned over to switch the shower on. When he stood up, he looked in the mirror and berated himself. What a fucking idiot! You know he’s straight you know he’d never be interested in you and what were you thinking?! Too busy telling yourself don’t fall for the gorgeousness, the sexy laugh, the ocean blue eyes, the beaming smile, the peachy arse, that you didn’t see anything except all those things. Ben closed his eyes and yelled out, punching the wall next to the mirror. He was then covered in dust as he pulled his hand out from the new hole in the drywall. “For fuck’s sake.” he thought as the nausea overwhelmed him and he moved swiftly to hug the porcelain. Even that didn’t make him feel any better – the whisky had been the only thing to pass his lips the night before so there was nothing of any substance in his stomach that he could expel to make him feel better. He hoped the shower would work. 

Callum meanwhile had arrived at the dance studios early but was left kicking his heels as the time marched on with no sign of Ben. He debated texting him but thought better of it. 

Johannes and Chantelle passed the room – their dance studio was internal with no natural light so they both liked to do their stretches outside, weather permitting. Johannes peeped through the glass and saw Callum on his own, so signalled to Chantelle to head out alone as he pushed the door open. 

“Where’s your partner, baby?” He asked 

“Eh, dunno.” Callum replied with a shrug. “He’s not showed up yet.” 

“Have you tried calling him?” 

Callum said “No” and he looked down at his feet as he shuffled them. 

“Give me your phone” Johannes demanded, tapping his foot and holding his hand out. 

Callum pressed to unlock and then passed the phone over. Johannes quickly scrolled through the contacts, selected Ben and hit the call button. A minute later, he growled as he frustratedly pressed the end call icon and then tried to call again. This went on for about four times before Ben finally answered. 

“Sorry, I should have messaged, listen I’m not feeling...” his flow was interrupted as Johannes butted in while he walked out to the corridor and out of earshot of Callum. 

“Whatever you’re not feeling baby, start feeling it and get here. We’re pros – you can’t leave Callum stranded here because you drowned in a bottle of whisky last night.” 

What makes you think I was drinking last night?!” Ben’s head felt like a dehydrated sea sponge; withered, dry and crackled and it contracted further in protest at the volume he had used with his question. 

“I know baby blue’s ex-girlfriend showed up last night. Look Ben, he’s not ready, and all the whisky in the world won’t change that.” 

“Not ready?! What does that mean?!” Ben felt sick again. 

“It means you need to give yourself a shake and just do the job your paid for, Ben. How long will it take you get here?” 

Ben sighed. “I’ve already showered, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 

Johannes pressed the end call button without any form of farewell and stepped back in the studio. He handed Callum’s phone back to him and told him to come outside and do some warm-up with him and Chantelle. “He’s under the weather, but on his way” was all he said of the call. 

When Ben arrived, he apologised to Callum and suggested he work on his core strength and footwork. Ben would supervise only. His excuse was a dodgy carry out, but even after his shower, he was still sweating out whisky. The room stank like a distillery. Callum didn’t say anything though, and just did as he was asked. 

******  


Ben somehow got through that day and the next and the next. By Saturday felt he had finally shrugged off the last of his hangover. He was also feeling better as there had been no sign of Whitney again. Poxy bloody Whitney. Poxy bloody sniffle more like. Sniffling around someone who had already dumped her once. Why couldn’t Callum just have gone to a poxy bar and pulled a poxy random one-night stand like any other poxy normal guy?! 

They were the fifth couple to dance on the second live show and despite the trials of the week, both were looking forward to it. They had prepared an extravaganza, were literally pushing the boat out and were excited to put on a show. Their entrance prop was assembled and hidden behind a curtain as the final touches were being added. Anyone watching on TV would be seeing the brief VT that each couple had to film weekly, precisely for this reason of getting the floor ready between couples. Ben was waiting patiently while Callum was throwing up. Deed done, Callum was walking back but stopped and began twitching the curtain trying to get a look out at the crowd. “Callum!” Ben shouted in a stage whisper. “Hurry up!” 

“Two seconds, Ben. I promised her I’d wave.” 

Ben’s stomach dropped to the floor. “Who?” 

“Whit. She, eh, wanted to blow me a kiss for luck.” 

Ben felt like all the breath had been sucked out his body and he wobbled onto his backfoot, but before he could do or say anything one of the stagehands shouted over “Ben, you and Callum need to get into position NOW!” 

Samba 

“Mi Chico Latino” - Geri Halliwell 

The curtain drew back, and as the sound of crashing waves filled the auditorium, the audience were presented with a huge white boat slowly surging forward with a brightly-coloured swan like masthead. The chest of the bird was bright cerise feathers that looked like they were ruffling in a breeze. The long neck was feathered white leading up to vibrant teal plumage on its “head”. 

The boat slowed to a stop and all the feathers began to unfurl, firstly to reveal Ben, with his legs wrapped round Callum’s waist and hanging backwards upside down. The chest feathers had been sewn into the sleeves of Ben’s top and as he slowly moved his arms side to side, they fluttered back and forth in their bright pink splendour. Further up, the neck, head and plumage of the bird fluttered to reveal Callum, his sleeves being the teal feathers. The judges panel, the gallery and the competitors backstage too, stared agog at the spectacle in front of them. The entrance was as camp as Christmas and the audience LOVED it. Ben and Callum had a standing ovation already, before either had taken a dance step. 

The first dance move was Callum bouncing his knees to flip Ben up to face forwards before Ben clambered high, stood on the “stirrups” of Callum’s cupped hands, before being flipped up, over and off the boat, flapping his “wings” to fly through the air, while Callum disembarked by way of a rope ladder. As they danced stepped towards each other, they tore their feathered jackets off, throwing them aside and revealing the dance outfit. They both wore tight white trousers, Ben with a cerise sequins belt, Callum with teal. The cover for Callum’s chest was a matching colour sequins choker/halter style binding that crisscrossed at his pecs, strapping down the offending moobs. Ben wore the same, with just a slightly different crisscross pattern. 

Facing front, they stretched out their arms to take each others hand, and Callum looked towards Ben to get the “connection” again but was concerned to see what looked like panic in his partner’s eyes. 

Ben. Poor Ben. It was all he could do to stop himself throwing up on the dance floor. He hadn’t been given any time to react to the news that Poxy Sniffle was here. Why hadn’t Callum hadn’t said anything?! The shock had made him nauseous, but he’d had no time to react – he'd had to strap his legs tightly around Callum’s waist and lower himself backwards, upside down and position his feathered arms as the bird’s “chest” despite the painful knot in his stomach. Looking over, he saw Callum’s face react to his expression, so he quickly put on his best professional smile and tried to clear his head for the next two minutes at least. They swung their hips out moving along to the rhythm, and both soon felt back on track. 

It was going well, and Ben was running towards Callum who was readying himself to pick Ben up and throw him into a triple salchow style flying spin, before he would land in the splits. Callum would then pull him up and flip him round his body one, two three times and then they would hip roll to the finish. That was what had been rehearsed. 

As he began his run-up however, something caught Ben’s eye. Someone. Poxy Sniffle. If looks could kill, Ben would have dropped dead right there. He didn’t of course, but it did put him off his step. Instead of leaping into Callum’s arms for the lift, he stumbled taking an extra step and crashing right into him. Callum was caught by surprise, so ended up still throwing Ben to the side where he landed in a messy heap. 

As soon as he hit the ground, Ben leapt up again, his instincts kicking in to rescue the rest of the dance as best he could. Callum grabbed him with both hands to help him up, but Ben deftly swiped one hand away, taking the other and saying, “keep going, keep going!” Poor Callum was confused, lost as to where he should be and what steps he should be taking so Ben spun him in to be in front, took his right hand in his while placing his left hand on his hip and pushed him with his body to get his hips swaying to the rhythm. He circled their right hands to Callum’s chest, in the hope it would centre him again as he whispered in his ear the steps to get them back to the planned finish of the dance. 

Those steps felt like the longest 20 seconds ever, but at last the dance was over. Callum hugged Ben with relief and apologised over and over in his ear. Ben hugged him back, but loosely, telling him it wasn’t his fault, which it wasn’t, but there was no sincerity in his voice. Anger was beginning to build in Ben’s stomach, fueled by the humiliation he felt for falling, the humiliation he was about to feel from the judges but mainly due to the humiliation he felt because of Poxy bloody Sniffle. He was also annoyed. Annoyed with Callum. Why hadn’t he said she’d be here?! 

It went as well as could be expected with judges. Thankfully they spoke highly of the entrance – it _had_ been spectacular. They were also clear to exonerate Callum from any fault for the fall, but the night felt like a car crash and Ben just couldn’t wait for it all to be over. Ever the pro however, he stood and took it, swallowing all the feelings of hurt, humiliation and anger down deep inside. 

They still had to negotiate the gallery chat with Claudia but fortunately she was a sweetheart and chose to ignore the fall, choosing instead to gush about the phenomenal entrance with all the sequins, the feathers and of course being the actual “swan” of the boat. Callum pointed out quickly that “it was actually a bird of paradise” and then just gave his gutsy laugh. For a second, Ben felt better. It was then time for the scores... 

Craig 4 

Motsi 5 

Shirley 4 

Bruno 5 

TOTAL 18 

As soon as the show was over, Ben left, slipping off before anyone saw him. He had a pressing appointment with another bottle of whisky, and no time to spare. He needed something to help him wash down all those feelings. 

****** 

Ben’s head was thumping when he woke up the next morning. It eased after a moment, but then started again about ten minutes later. He shuddered as he realised it was his alarm. He cursed as he got up, and then double cursed as he was in the shower – this was Week 2. Another live show tonight. Oh shit. Oh God, just please don’t let the fall have put them in the dance off. 

He was late again, although not quite as late as before. He walked into the room where everyone was gathered to be informed of what dances they’d be doing next week – if they were still in the competition. The room hushed for a moment as he entered, although if Ben cared, it was hidden behind the sunglasses he wore. He took a sip of a takeaway coffee as he surveyed the room and when he saw Callum sitting with Oti, Johannes and Aljaz and their respective partners, he walked over to sit with them. “Oh, look, the gang is all here” he pronounced as he loudly scraped a chair out from the table. 

“I was impressed with your entrance” Tina said, blinking her long eyelashes innocently. The whole table sniggered, apart from Callum, who blushed deeply as he lowered his head. 

“I beg your pardon?” Ben responded, grinning despite the pain in his head. 

“Your entrance” Tina said again. “Last night. It was off the scale! And I’m in musical theatre! Why y’all laughing?!” 

Ben was still smiling when he thanked her for the compliment. He hadn’t spent any time in her company, but he might change that. She might be fun, he thought. 

“Pity ‘is girlfriend put you off your step though” Tina continued, as she nodded her head towards Callum. 

Ben had unfortunately been taking a sip of his coffee as Tina blurted out her observation. It was unfortunate as it meant the table and its immediate vicinity were sprayed with coffee spit as he choked. 

“What?!” Callum said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. 

Ben meanwhile was trying to recover from the subsequent coughing fit he was having after choking. 

“You awright?” Tina asked, concerned as she stood up and moved to slap Ben on his back. He waved his arm out to her as he tried to shrug her off. 

“I will be *cough cough*, if you quit hitting me *cough cough cough*” Ben managed to wheeze. He raised his sunglasses to wipe the tears weeping from his red eyes as he then took another sip of coffee to halt his spluttering. He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and managed to regulate his breathing. Maybe she won’t be that much fun to hang about after all with he thought, as he took another sip, but he was grateful his involuntary reaction had taken the focus off her statement. At least that’s what he had thought. 

Tina. however, ploughed on. “Yeah! Saw it clear as day. He was on ‘is run up to ya and ya girlfriend was drawing ‘im daggers. Then bish, bash bosh – job was a good ‘un. To be honest, I was surprised she was there. I read in one of the papers you’d split up. You back together then?” The whole table was silent as Callum felt himself pushing back into his chair, as if he pushed hard enough, he’d slip through it and be invisible. 

“I, eh, well...we’re just talking a bit” Callum said quietly. “I didn’t realise she....” 

“I didn’t see anyone drawing anything” Ben interrupted, sniffing. “Didn’t even know it was her. Right, when we getting these dances then? How am I expected to come up wiv a film and a dance at this short notice!” and he stood up, again deliberately scraping the chair loudly before striding off. 

Elimination Show

The pros had done their group dance and now all the couples were standing on the winding staircases either side of the stage, as they waited to find out who would be in the first dance off. Callum stood in front of Ben, who was on the step up behind, so the height difference wasn’t so obvious. The tension was though. There was no touching between them – the only couple not to do so. 

Things between them had been awkward since the coffee incident this morning, and Ben had sought refuge with Johannes and Chantelle, ensuring he and Callum mooched around with them all day. Ben hadn’t spoken to Johannes about his “he’s not ready” comment earlier in the week - the consequences of what that could mean were too great for him to contemplate, even if his brain didn’t feel like a pickled walnut in his head. The fact that Johannes obviously suspected he had a crush made him cringe; however, he couldn’t face being alone with Callum, not right now, so chose the lesser of two evils. 

In fact, Johannes was far more perceptive than Ben could give him credit for. He’d seen Ben flirt, he’d seen Ben crush, but he’d never seen Ben like this. How typical of him though that it was over a guy who was conflicted, clearly not ready, and with whom he had to feign intimacy daily for weeks. He could never take the easy route. He just hoped Ben could stop torturing himself until the show was over, but based on what he’d seen this week, he wasn’t entirely convinced he could. Even in his own romantic heart, Johannes couldn’t see this ending well. 

Tess snapped her cards and began announcing the couples that were through. Tina and Alijaz were first through, Karen and Shakil next. Tess then announced the ex-MP Esther and smug Anton were also through. Ben couldn’t believe it. She’d been as stiff as old board, the fucking homophobic bitch. Red mist descending and venom rising, he missed who else Tess said was through, but as Callum hadn’t moved, he guessed it wasn’t them yet. 

“And the first couple in tonight’s dance off is.... 

“Callum and Ben!” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for being here and reading about our dancers. I love them so much and just want to shake them both! 
> 
> I also really appreciate all the kudos and comments! Thx once more! <3 xxx

Ben’s rage instantly vanished as he felt like he’d had the wind sucked out of him. Callum turned to look at him and the clear blue, wounded puppy eyes he saw made him feel even worse. “I can’t go out on the first elimination, Ben. I can’t!” 

“We won’t Callum. I promise we won’t.” 

The advice for Callum from the judges had been simple. Shirley had said that all he had to do was dance the way he had the night before. Motsi said Callum was good, and to know he was certainly too good to be leaving this early. Bruno commented that he was beginning to move like a natural dancer and Craig told him simply to keep his focus and to keep his faith - Ben was one of the best professionals on the show and he had total confidence the do-over would be faultless. 

After speaking with Claudia up in the gallery for about 30 seconds, they watched intently as the second set of couples found out who was staying and who would be in the dance off against them. 

As he watched, Ben knew he had no-one to blame but himself for the fall last night, but he was still shaken to be in this position. He was also pained to see how obviously upset it had made Callum. He  _ had _ to sort this, and himself, out. For Callum, if not for himself. 

The last two couples standing were Oti with Mick, and Neil with an elderly chef lady who presented one of baking competition shows, and Ben relaxed a little. Barring another disaster, he knew they’d be safe – Oti and Mick weren’t going anywhere and even Callum must  realise it would be the dinner lady Prue who would dance her last dance tonight. He decided to pull Callum aside and talk to him. 

“I’m sorry about last night and today” he said, scratching at his stubbly chin. 

Callum nodded ever so slightly. “Yeah. Erm, about Whitney, she can be a bit...”

Ben interrupted. “Is, ehm, is she here tonight?”

“No.”

Ben hid a huge sigh of relief as he continued. “Look,  ya girl, she, eh, well, what Tina said. I, eh, as if a girl could ever put me off a step, eh? Now, if it’d been your boyfriend...” and he laughed, maybe a bit too hard. Callum looked to the floor and blushed from his strapped moobs to the tips of his ears and Ben had to catch his breath at how adorable it was. He coughed as he continued, “Look, Craig was right. I  _ am  _ one of the best professionals ‘round ‘ere. I  ain’t showed it this week I know, but it  ain’t anything you should worry yourself about. We’re up against Dear Prudence out there – so we can’t fail – cos also” he stopped and touched Callum’s arm to get him to look at him, “ _ also  _ you’re one of the best contestants, okay? You’re upset - we shouldn’t be here - but please; just relax and enjoy yourself. That’s what’ll get us through. You reckon you can do that?” Callum’s nod was almost imperceptible as he blinked slowly, still giving sad puppy vibes. If Ben didn’t know any better, he’d swear Callum was intentionally blinking those heavy lashes slowly to draw him in. 

If Johannes didn’t know any better, he’d have let Ben be drawn. He did know better though. “BIN!” the South African pronunciation was unmistakable. “BIN! You and Callum – move!” The two men shook themselves out of their moment and ran down to get in position. 

This time, their performance _was_ faultless and flawless. They had a clean sweep of judges’ saves and even though didn’t need head judge Shirley’s vote, she confirmed it would have been theirs anyway. 

The night over, Ben walked slowly to his car. He’d been running on whisky fumes,  coffee and adrenaline all day. They had finally worn off and he felt utterly exhausted. As he approached his vehicle, he saw Callum leaning back on the boot, waiting for him. Ben thought the sight was beautiful.

“Hey, you alright? You look tired” the taller man said. 

“Yeah, well, I’ll be glad to put this week to bed if I'm honest.” Ben replied as he gently kicked one of his tyres. 

“I, eh, I just wanted to say thanks for the pep talk before the dance tonight.” Callum said softly. “It really helped.” 

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Felt like you said more to me tonight than you have all week.” 

Ben didn’t know what direction this conversation was going, but it made him feel uneasy. “Callum look, I really am ti...” 

Callum butted in, “Ben, please. This week, with Whit....” 

Ben’s phone bleeped into life, interrupting. 

Ben opened his phone to retrieve the message, raising one eyebrow as he read. “Sorry Cal, but we’ll need to do this in the morning – booty calls!” He winked as he shot round, climbed in his car and drove off as fast as was safe. 

It was Callum’s turn to be left alone in the car park now,  speechless and crestfallen. 

***

Someone in the distance calling his name snapped him back to reality. “Callum! CALLUM!” It was Mick, part of a larger crowd leaving the studios. Callum just waved and moved to get in his car, but Mick was walking over. “We’re going for a quick drink – turns out it’s Shakil’s 21 st tomorrow, ye know, so we’re gunna wet the babies ‘ead and all that.” 

“Erm, yeah, sounds good but I should really...”

“No excuses” Mick interrupted. “You need to lighten up a bit anyway – this lark  s’posed to be fun  innit , and you walking round all week like you’ve got all the worries in the world.” 

“But I ain’t got....”

“That’s settled then. C’mon.” and Mick slapped his arm around Callum’s  shoulders, and they walked over to catch up with the others. 

There was about a dozen of them when they got to the pub and they all sat around a couple of tables in the corner. Karen spoke up and proposed a toast, firstly to congratulate Callum on surviving the elimination. “Pity your partner isn’t here” she said as she raised her glass, “let me guess... a booty call?!” Callum just blushed, raised his glass and thanked them all for their kind words. Fortunately, the second toast moved the focus to Shakil, the soon-to-be birthday boy, and after Karen had spoken and embarrassed her dance partner at length, there were loud demands for a speech from the young tennis star. He stood to speak, but he was blushing just as much as Callum had.

C allum ended up sitting crammed in a corner seat, while chat and hilarity went on all around him. He’d was grateful to be there, grateful to be included, but his mind was whirring. This week had been totally exhausting for him too. Physically and emotionally. 

He thought about when he was first really troubled by his thoughts. It wasn’t long after he and Whitney had moved in together. Within the first month he’d known it was a mistake. Sleeping beside her every night would be a lot of men’s wet dream, but Callum felt it was a nightmare. To deflect from what felt like increasing demands to perform, he’d gone out and bought a dog, as a distraction. The idea that if he wasn’t around at least Whitney would have some company, well, Callum quickly dismissed that thought. Why wouldn’t he ever not be there?! The little puppy had mewled  constantly, and this had the effect of interrupting their nights, so one or both were generally too tired to do much other than sleep. It wasn’t long after that his dancing transformation storyline came up at work and he’d met Ben. 

Ben. It had only taken a couple of dance lessons with him and Callum had been in awe of the smaller, stockier man. Next to him he felt lanky, awkward, nervous and a little bit jealous. He saw what he believed to be the opposite of himself. Ben was a good looking, funny, confident guy. And brave. He thought Ben was so brave. Not a coward like him. Here was a young man who was genuinely proud of who he was and was genuinely proud in being gay. Callum couldn’t imagine everyone knowing you were gay and you not caring what people thought. Not caring that people knew and it not being a big deal. Growing up, any hint of anything in the house that his dad didn’t think was masculine enough, was always a big deal. Huge. He shuddered as he remembered the Christmas when his brother Stuart had bought him a Stretch Armstrong. His dad had been blind drunk and flown into a blind rage; he considered the gift to be a doll, and boys don’t play with dollies. Stuart had taken a whipping, but not before poor Stretch had been thrown out the high-rise window. Callum had scurried off to his room, hiding under his bed with his finger in one ear and a tiny transistor radio at the other, trying to drown out the noise of the beating. Later that night, when his dad had finally passed out, he’d crept downstairs to rescue the toy and then climbed into bed beside Stuart, whispering how sorry he was and that he’d rescued Stretch and he loved it and he would keep him hidden and safe, and that he loved him. 

Ben’s whole aura had been a magnet to Callum. He had been wary of getting too close - not because he was gay, he wasn’t gay, of course not – and anyone, male or female, gay or straight, could see that Ben was attractive. He’d enjoyed just being around him; Ben was a patient teacher and to Callum’s surprise, some of his confidence had rubbed off a little bit on him. It had been only days after the lessons finished that Callum had finally plucked up the courage and moved out. leaving Whitney and little Rosie the dog. 

But then he’d ended up with Ben as a dance partner. Which was fine, as Callum wasn’t gay, of course he wasn't, but when he’d watched himself back, dancing with him, remembering how it felt when they locked eyes, when they touched...

“Penny for ‘ em ” Mick squeezed down beside Callum. “You all right son?”

“Hey! Yeah, yeah. Just tired. You know, I got bit of fright being in the dance off. I mean, I’ll probably not win – reckon Chantelle’s got that covered – but I weren’t expecting it so soon.” 

“Yeah, but your boy fell! That’s nothing to do  wiv how  ya dance. That’s was just back luck, weren’t it. Won't happen again.” 

They heard a cackle from across the table. Esther, the ex-MP was looking over and laughing at them. “It wasn’t bad luck! It wasn’t the fall either” she sneered. “It’s because men shouldn’t be dancing with men. It’s not right and that’s what’s the result was about. You’ve no chance, Callum. You were saved this week, but you’ll be out next. Overt gayness is not family entertainment.” 

Callum didn’t know where to look or what to say. Mick did though. He slammed his fist on the table. “What did you say?!” 

“I wasn’t speaking to you.” was the condescending response. 

“Oh yeah, well I’m fucking speaking to you. You sort!” Mick’s last words had a tone Callum had only seen him use in his films. “Where do you get off, taking fucking liberties, talking about gays  ain’t for family viewing. Where d’ya fink gay people come from?! The gay fucking cabbage patch?!” 

Esther was feigning indignance. “ Oh, for goodness sake. There’s no need for such dramatics. You must have children, Michael. You can’t want them to think that two men ballroom dancing together is  _ normal?I”  _ __ The whole table was silent now. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got kids. And I want all of them to think dancing with _anyone,_ in any mix _,_ is normal. But especially my boy Jonny. Let me tell you sumfin about my Jonny, _Esther_.” He leaned towards her over the table, looking her right in the eyes. “He’s gay and see when he told me, I was ‘eartbroken.” 

“Well, yes, you would be.” her reply sounded genuinely sympathetic. Everyone at the table were glancing sideways at each other. Someone nudged Anton, who shrugged but shuffled his seat away from his partner. 

Mick laughed wryly. “The strength it took him to tell me. He was so upset, crying cos he couldn’t hide himself any longer. Yeah, I was ‘ eartbroken . Heartbroken, cos my little boy had been torturing himself for god knows how long. He knew I didn’t care about anyone being gay, that it don’t matter to me. I work in entertainment for fuck’s sake. But he was still scared, still in turmoil telling his old man about who he truly was, and that’s cos of people like  you. Spouting  yer hate.” 

“Excuse me, I don’t  _ hate _ anyone.”

MIck scoffed. “What did you vote on same sex marriage?” 

There was no reply. 

“Same sex marriage. Did you vote for or against?” 

“I don’t believe you’d ask that question if you didn’t already know the answer.” Her body language was changing, becoming more defensive. 

“ _ I _ know, but maybe others here don’t. Like Johannes. Tell Johannes how you voted. You had a choice to give Johannes equal rights to me  \- to marry the person he loves. Did you vote for it?” 

Esther began to speak, typically as a politician ignoring the question that was asked of her. “I voted for the sanctity of...” 

“Oh, shut  yer bunnying! You disgust me. Get out.” Mick had had enough.

“I beg your pardon?” 

“Your sort  ain’t welcome here. Get the fuck out this pub.” His voice was low and menacing. 

“My  _ sort?” _ Esther huffed and looked round to Anton but found his seat empty. She then looked around to the others around the table. Everyone was staring her down. She had no back up. Not here. She picked up her bag and coat and walked out the bar, huffing as she went. 

Callum’s heart felt as if it was beating out his chest. 

Mick asked Callum if he was okay. He nodded, but his expression was flat. “I didn’t know your son was gay.” 

“Why should ya? It’s not important. Well, it is, but I mean it shouldn’t be. I’m so proud of him. Watching him change from a scared, timid little boy and becoming a strong and confident young man. My ‘eart swells  wiv pride.” Mick’s face was beaming. 

“I guess even though it was tough, it was still easier, having a dad like you.” Callum’s eyes were searching Mick’s face for something, but he wasn’t sure for what. “I don’t think everyone is lucky enough to have that acceptance in their family.” 

Mick’s reputation as a hard man preceded him, but a lot of it was just that: reputation. He was tough when he had to be, but a softie underneath. He was also very perceptive. He hadn’t always been, but his son’s distress at coming out had hurt him, and he had made a concerted effort to understand the world from his viewpoint. He’d met a few of his friends and chatted to them about their coming out journeys and learned that many of them weren’t as lucky in the dad department as Jonny. From the very first Strictly night and seeing Callum with Melania and Piper, Mick had his suspicions. Overhearing Oti and Johannes chat about their light meddling and then having seen the way Callum looked at Ben and then calling up his ex-girlfriend so soon after that first dance - he was now sure that Callum was troubled in the way his son had been. No-one should be forced to do or say anything they’re not ready to, but Mick wanted Callum to know he didn’t have to navigate his journey alone. 

In response to Callum’s comment, Mick told him “I’m one of those surrogate dads at Pride, you know. Yeah, I go to all the marches wearing my “free dad hugs” tee-shirt.” He beamed as he spoke. 

“Oh yeah?” Callum was feeling uncomfortable, unsure where Mick was heading with his conversation.

He needn’t have felt uncomfortable though as Mick wasn’t heading anywhere with his chat. He just wanted the younger man to know there was an accepting dad figure around, if he needed it. “Yeah. Although I think some of the older huggees looked at me as another  kinda daddy, if you get me drift.” He winked and belly laughed. “Anyway,  n’other pint son?” 

Callum shook his head, “nah, I really should go home actually. Got regular filming tomorrow as well as next week's dance.” 

“Aright boy, just mind how ye go, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

*****

Ben meanwhile was already home. His message  _ had  _ been a booty call, from the tall, blue-eyed, dark haired, not-looking-anything-like-Callum-no-he-doesn't-look-like-him-honest, hook up, but he’d ignored it, throwing his phone, screen down on the passenger seat. He’d chosen instead to have a pity party; curled up in bed watching the Greatest Showman and feeling that this week had really kicked the stuffing out him. Some Zac Efron and an early night would hopefully set the tone for a better week coming up. Surely. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the day seems to start well for Ben...

Monday morning and Ben felt the benefit of Zac singing him to sleep, and he got a good seven hour’s rest. As he showered, he thought of how things were left with Callum the night before. Ben had been shaken to end up in the dance off, and relieved that not only had they managed to get through, but that he and Callum may have cracked the tension a little bit. It was just a papering over of the cracks, but hopefully it would hold for the time being. 

He thought about how he (they?) ended up here. It wasn’t that Callum was breaking down the walls Ben had up, it was that he seemed to be utterly oblivious to the fact that Ben _had_ any walls to protect himself at all. He passed through them like a ghost.

As he washed, he thought about how Callum would just be there, completely unaware of how singularly attractive he was. Like last night. He’d just do something small but devastatingly sexy, like blink his thick heavy lashes down slowly over his oceanic blue eyes while nervously licking his soft, soft lips, and so Ben would then find himself standing in the shower with a lathered hand stroking his rock-hard cock imaging those lips puckered at his tip, slipping that tongue out to gingerly lick the pre-cum oozing out, before swallowing Ben whole in his hot, wet mouth. Oh god, and then he would suck and suck, with his hand on the base as he looked up at him with those crystal-clear eyes, pumping Ben in and out his mouth, gulping hard so Ben’s dick could butt against the back of his throat and as Ben looked down at him, he would see Callum working his own rigid cock to the same rhythm as it was such a fucking turn on to him that Ben would fuck his mouth like this, and Ben would feel the vibration of Callum’s moans as he dined and slurped and then he’d surprise and delight him by moving his hand to slide a soapy digit into Ben’s hole and it would all make Ben cum, and cum hard, crying out Callum’s name, as he saw stars and fireworks, feeling ecstatic as his balls empty into Callum’s hungry and devouring mouth and…… Jesus! Ben opened his eyes to steady himself before his knees gave way beneath him. He leaned back against the shower wall, panting as the last waves of his peak shuddered through him. “Oh, for fuck’s sake” he thought. 

He arrived at the studio with a spring in his step, not allowing any disappointment to touch him when he saw the empty parking space where Callum’s car should be. He wandered to the canteen for a coffee, sliding into a seat beside Johannes and soon realised they weren’t feeling quite so bright and breezy as they filled him in on the events of the night before and what Lady Fester, as she was now known, had to say for herself. 

“What a fucking bitch cow bint!” Ben had said, a little anger beginning to bubble in his tummy. Johannes soothed him saying “She’s not worth letting under your skin. How many people like that have we known in our lives? She’s not worth it darling.” Ben just hmmm’d as he slurped his beverage.

Chantelle arrived and the three went outside; Johannes and Chantelle to stretch and warm up, and Ben to kill some time waiting on Callum. “Where IS he?” he eventually growled, but he was smiling as he said it. 

“Callum’s got filming this morning.” Chantelle informed him. “Didn’t he say?”

“No! He never told me.” he said wondering why this day was seemingly trying to kill his mood. “Is it just this morning or is it all day?” 

“I dunno. Maybe you should get him to give you his number. Maybe then you could try texting or something and let each other know what’s going on in your heads.” Chantelle winked at Johannes as she spoke, but Ben missed it as he huffed away and walking back into the building.

He decided to send him a text. _“Hey! Lemme know when u’ll be here”_

Ben warmed up and then began to choreograph a soft waltz for this week. Zac had inspired him, and he chose “Tightrope” as the dance track and so The Greatest Showman as their movie. He mused he would maybe have them both as Ring Masters, or no, maybe Callum as Hugh Jackman and Ben would be smart, sexy Zac, in a classic tailored suit. Yeah! That might work.

_(no notifications)_

He left a note for Callum as he wandered out of the studio and down to see Linzi in wardrobe. They obviously had all the measurements they needed, so could make a start on the costume. 

_(no notifications)_

He walked back to the studio, peering in rooms as he walked by, stopping longer to view _that bitch_ trying to jive with Anton but with all the grace and style of an elephant Bambi on ice. 

_(no notifications)_

He checked his signal in this part of the building and had full regular and wifi signal. He frowned.

Backed in his own studio he worked some more on the steps and how he could incorporate and use a circus ring, and maybe some arial silks? Yes! That would great. Callum’s core strength was quite good, they’d be able to do something for sure, just to start and finish maybe, it was a waltz after all, but he excitedly clambered up the side apparatus to release one of the silks and see what they could maybe do with it. 

_*ping*_

Ben nearly fell in his rush to get down to his phone…

_*ping*_

…probably taking longer to get there in his haste. 

_“Missed u last nyt bbz xx”_

_“Cum soon xx”_

Ben growled, surprising himself with how loud it was, before he realised it was his stomach also, requesting fuel for the calories spent today already. Ignoring the texts just received, he slipped his phone in his pocket and headed to the canteen. 

Sitting by himself, he checked his phone again, this time picking up emails, letting him know he and Callum were scheduled for Strictly It Takes Two, live on Wednesday evening. He’d be happy to do it, but will Callum get here before then?! He laughed at his own joke as he tapped out his reply to the producers. 

His phone still hadn’t received any communication from Callum over lunch and Ben was beginning to feel a bit bored and antsy. As he looked up, he spotted Anton and his partner sitting at the other side of the dining room, _that bitch_ having her back to him. Deciding he had some time to kill, he thought he might check in on some of his colleagues. He stood up, straightened his jacket, and began to glide among the tables.

He slid into the seat beside Esther, grabbing a chip from her plate and popping it whole into his mouth. “Ooof, needs salt!” he grinned as he chewed. 

“Can I help you with something” was the ex-MPs terse reply.

“I understand that you were very rude to my dancing partner last night. Very, _very,_ rude.” 

“I don’t think I was rude at all. If anyone was rude last night, it was that Michael.”

“Z’at right? What would you say Anton? Who was rude last night? This one ‘ere” and he nodded to Esther. “or was it Mick? Cos, as I understand it, this one ‘ere made her opinion on same sex ballroom dancing quite clear to my poor partner.” 

The older dancer didn’t know where to look. “Look Ben,” he stuttered, “Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there was no harm done, and while it _could_ have been misconstrued as being a bit, well, tactless perhaps, Esther wasn’t rude. Not at all.” 

Ben leaned back on his seat, manspreading and ensuring he had a hand placed on the back of Esther’s chair. He wasn’t into intimidating women, well, he wasn’t into women full stop, but he wasn’t doing it because she was a female. Between her and her partner, she was probably the one with bigger balls. He was doing it because she had been an MP and had voted against his right to marry the man he loved, if he ever met such a man. She was pond scum, and while she was a similar age to his parents, she wasn’t old enough to be hanging on to boomer era homophobia. 

“As I understand it” and Ben leaned in towards her now as he spoke “you said to my partner that two men dancing together wasn’t appropriate family entertainment. You also said we’d be voted out this weekend. Well, I’d love to say I hate to disappoint you, but if I’m honest, I can’t wait to disappoint you. If anyone is leaving this week, _Lady Fester_ , it’s you.” There was a pregnant pause between them before Ben leaned in even closer. “BOO!”

Esther jumped a little in her seat, but her years in the House of Commons hadn’t come with out experience. She didn’t break eye contact as she then leaned in return to Ben saying “Oh, we’ll see about that.” 

*****

Callum eventually turned up, never having replied to Ben’s message. The events of the day meant Ben’s bouncy post-orgasmic demeanour from this morning had gone, and the student was curtly reprimanded. In a tone of _I’m not angry, I’m disappointed_ Ben had said, “look, if you’re changing your mind about this, just quit. I think we’re good enough for final but I ain’t dragging you there. I fucked up on Saturday, and it was a big deal, but I said I was sorry, and I fixed it. If you can’t even have the manners to tell me when you’re gonna be here, then,… then what’s the point.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ve eh, got a lot on my mind and I shouldn’t have let affect what we’re doing ‘ere. I won’t be late or incommunicado again. I’ll stay later for practice if I need to.”

“Yeah, but that would mean _I_ need to stay late too.” Ben then relaxed his tone – Callum’s apology had been genuine enough. “Did what that bitch said last night in the pub get to ya? Cos don’t let it. Trust me, we ain’t going nowhere. You trust me, yeah?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I do. Tell you what though, you shoulda heard that Mick. Tore right into ‘er he did. Did you know his son’s gay? He’s one of those Pride dads an ‘all. Who knew? He goes to all the marches wearing the ”Free Dad Hugs” tee-shirt. He said though sometimes people try and hug him like he’s a different kinda daddy, and I left after that cos she did kill my mood a bit but laughed about it later, cos it is quite funny, especially him looking like a bear.” Callum cringed as he finally drew breath. Why was it he could only really either say nothing at all to Ben, or he opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out at a hundred miles an hour.

“What d’ _you_ know about bears?!” Ben had a smirk and his eyebrow raised as he asked. 

Callum, already flushed from his internal cringing, blushed a darker shade of red, and Ben couldn’t ‘ignore it any longer. “I can see why all the girls fall for you. That blushing – can you do that at will?!”

“Ben, please don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make fun of me.”

“I ain’t. I ain’t. Look, I dunno why they bring people like her on this bloody show to be honest, cos well, anyway, they do, and we’re just gonna ignore it, right? So, tell me, - you like The Greatest Showman?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will the week go for the boys?...

Tuesday came and went with out event, apart from a few more texts for Ben from his hook-up, but they were filed unopened to the recycle bin. Callum’s phone had lit up a few times too, but whoever was messaging him was being ignored as well. The two men had relaxed easily into the dance, given it had been waltz steps they had worked on before. Ben was pleased how polished it was even though it was so early in the week. During lunch Ben had said to Callum that they would do a full run though and let their food settle before having a practice with the aerial silks and was pleased when he seemed excited to try it. The only smudge on the day was when Ben noticed Lady Fester and Anton’s prying eyes at the door watching them. Ben quickly grabbed a couple of towels and pinned them over the glass panels. “Fuck her!” Ben had said, grinning.

Wednesday morning and they were both having fun with the silks again. “I told ya you’ve got good core strength.” Ben said to Callum, who blushed ever so slightly, and Ben found it ever so sexy. 

Callum’s phone lit up again, and he’d forgotten to put it to silent, so when it rang and rang, the ringtone trilling around the room, he had no choice but to unfurl and roll himself down and answer it. “Sound’s like an emergency” Ben had sniffed. Callum’s face didn’t look so happy when he checked who had been calling and when his phone rang once more, he shrugged to Ben and answered, walking out the studio for privacy. Ben didn’t like it.

Callum had been gone for some time and Ben was getting a bit pissed off. As he pondered, it seemed to him that, from probably the first live dance, he’d been on a rollercoaster, and it was beginning to make him a bit sick. He didn’t how much longer this could go on. In fact, was this not what he was saying to himself almost every day?! Just look at today, he thought. It had been all good! They had done so well with this dance so far, and they had so much fun playing around with the silks - Callum looked like he was loving it. He was graceful and holy shit, he looked good with some binding around him, but then one phone call and Ben just feels so uneasy. He reflected that this is why he pumps and dumps. Feeling like this, in fact just _feeling_ is shitty. Not that he would ever stand a chance anyway. Callum liked girls. Any look he gave Ben that made him catch his breath, well, that surely had to be on him, not Callum. 

He decided to head to the canteen; how often would he be stuck in this bloody studio waiting on Callum. He was huffing his way out when the caretaker came shuffling along. “Ben, there’s a guy who looks like Callum’s brother at reception. Sam?”

“Yeah? Well he ain’t the only one looking for ‘im right now so, sorry. Can’t help ya.”

“No, Ben. The guy, he’s asking for you.”

*****

Ben was intrigued until he got to the reception. It was SoftnBlue22. So that was his real name. Ben tutted under his breath.

Sam whined, “You’re ignoring my texts, baby.”

Ben threw an arm around the boy’s shoulders and roughly maneuvered him through the main door to the car park. Once outside, Ben kept them moving while he outlined in no uncertain terms that he was no-one’s baby, had he not realised how a hook-up app works and just what the fuck was he thinking turning up at here?! 

“I really wanted to see you again though! I’ve never been with anyone famous before!”

Bens stopped and laughed. “You’re joking? You want to see me again because I do this?! Not because I am sensational in bed?! I’m almost offended…” 

“No, no! I mean, yes, the sex was good, it was, it was! But look, I’m an influencer” Sam was whining now. “A couple of fucks won’t get me more followers.” He looked at Ben pleadingly.

“Christ, this gets better. You just want an “in” to all this glamour?!” Ben gesticulated to their car park surroundings.

“Maybe”

“You could’ve just asked, you know.” 

“Can you get me an “in” then?”

“Sure. Good looking boy like you, shouldn’t take more than a couple of introductions and you’ll be on your fucking way, so to speak. Talking of on yer way, how d’ye get ‘ere? You’re a long way from ‘ome, Dorothy!”

“Public transport, would you believe” and he made a yucky face. 

Ben thought for a moment. Where they stood they could see the main door, and there had been no sign of Callum coming back. D’ye know what? Fuck him. Let him wonder where _Ben_ was for a change. Apart from the time he slept in, of course. “C’mon _Sam._ I’ll give you a lift.”

They walked around the corner towards the car and Ben stopped dead in his tracks. Callum was there, leaning on his own car. That wasn’t why Ben stopped though. It was who was remonstrating with Callum that caused the halt. Whitney.

Sam piped up “Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben replied absentmindedly. Fuck it, looked like he was going to have to just deal her being on the scene. 

When she saw Callum’s gaze catch sight of something, Whitney turned around to look. She took a moment to assess the two men walking towards them before uttering “Wow.” 

Ben looked a bit confused. “Eh, hello Whitney. Listen Callum, I’m just dropping off young Sam home and I’ll be right back.”

Whitney smiled at Sam. “Hello Sam. How d’ya know Ben then? Been friends long?”

“Erm, not that long no. Who are you?” Sam was feeling a bit confused at the tone this girl was using towards him. 

“Callum – look at ‘im – look.” 

Ben unease was growing. “I think maybe we’ve interrupted something or something Sam, so we’ll eh, just get going.” 

Whitney spoke up again. “Callum – he’s your double. Look! Spitting image!”

Ben’s heart was racing, and he felt his face flush as he looked from Whitney to Callum to Sam and back to Callum again. Fuck. Whitney was right. Sam _was_ Callum’s image. Was he really that much of stupid prick not to realise? He’d never felt so stupid in his life and never wanted to run away as fast as he did now. He felt naked under the gaze of the others. 

He took a deep breath as he tried to think how to take back control of the situation but before he could speak, the caretaker came running, shouting his name. By the time he reached them he was out of breath, and he clutched on to Ben’s arm as he tried to get his breath back. “Ben,” he puffed. “Bosses. Need to see you. Now.” 

“Now?!” Ben’s voice came out higher than he meant it to. 

“Right now. There’s at bit of a to-do. I dunno. I was just sent to get you.”

Sam was next to speak, letting Ben know it was fine. “I’ll rough it with the riffraff one more time, but you’ll call me, yeah?” 

Ben nodded as he reluctantly went with the caretaker who was still clutching his arm.

“Don’t worry Ben!” Whitney called out after him. “We’ll drive baby Callum home.” 

Ben felt nauseous.

******

Callum had dropped Sam and then Whitney and was driving back to the studio when he pulled into a layby, and just like before he sat and wept. Whitney turning up had shocked him, but it really shouldn’t have. He hadn’t contacted her since Saturday and had ignored her texts. All of them. Why couldn’t she understand?! He was confused. He’d had a moment of panic and by calling her, he’d thrown himself under what he thought might be a security blanket. Of course, it had been a mistake, he’d allowed himself to forget why he’d given the blanket up in the first place. It was scratchy, uncomfortable, and suffocated him. He would have apologised and explained to her eventually, of course he would, but he needed some time first. “’ow much time, Callum?!” she had spat at him. “and for what?! What would you be telling me?! Why you look at ‘im the way you do?!” 

“It’s acting, Whit! Acting!” he had countered, sweating nervously, and praying she couldn’t see.

“I ain’t ever seen you act like that. Not even with me! _Especially_ not wiv me.”

And so their conversation had been like that back and forth before Ben and his friend had come along and she had pointed out how much Ben’s friend looked like him. She’d said it like it was supposed to mean something? Why would she say that?! He wished his head would stop spinning. Whitney had then cross-examined poor Sam in the car, but he didn’t really have much to tell. He was an influencer, he wanted to go to showbiz parties and fuck famous people for a living. He’d been lucky enough to start with Ben. God, why had that been like a punch in the guts?! Callum felt like he was permanently on a waltzer, spinning and spinning, being thrown in directions he couldn’t hope to anticipate, and he couldn’t catch his breath. He couldn’t go on like this. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments - they are always appreciated! xx

Callum wiped his face on his sleeve and checked his face in the rear-view mirror. His face was red, blotchy and pretty obvious he’d been crying. But he couldn’t put it off any longer; he had to get off this ride. He pulled out the layby and drove the studio. When he got there, he was surprised to see Ben’s car had gone. No matter. He’d just wait for him to come back. 

He walked into the canteen, thinking he deserved a coffee and a sticky bun. The calories even put wouldn’t dent the energy he’d burned off today. As he walked through to the counter, he slowly became aware that the room had fallen silent and all eyes were on him. He was also aware of a bead of sweat now trickling down his back. He kept walking though, moving around a worker cleaning up a mess that looked as if they’d dropped a whole tray of crockery. As he made his purchase, Mick came up and asked him how he was. A little bewildered he answered “Eh, yeah, fine? Have I missed something?” 

“Come sit down, son.” and he maneouvered him to a table with some of the usual faces, Alijaz, Johannes, Oti, Chantelle and Tina. Everyone looked very serious. 

Callum felt quite nervous. “Eh, what’s going on? Why is everyone looking at me like this? Where’s Ben?” 

Mick was the one to speak. “Ain’t he been in touch wiv ya?” Callum just shook his head. Mick continued, “okay, look, we don’t quite know all the details, but something big has gone on wiv Ben and the producers and it looks like it’s that fucking Tory bitch’s fault.” 

Callum exhaled and asked how they knew what they did. “You can cut the tension in ‘ere with a knife. What happened?”

Mick filled him in on events since he’d left. Callum’s head spun - he hadn’t been gone for that long. It seemed that everyone had been having lunch as usual when Ben had crashed through the canteen doors in an absolute rage. He’d been shouting “YOU FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC BITCH” at the top of his voice, swiftly followed by “YOU’RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!!” and a few other choice insults. All the shouting had gone on as he had leapt up on the tables, kicking plates and anything else on top that wasn’t grabbed in time. He’d then started running along the lengthy canteen tables towards Esther, who had just sat with a smirk on her face. Mick and Alijaz had run after him and had to rugby tackle him to the ground before he reached her. 

Johannes took over telling the story, explaining that it had actually taken Mick, Alijaz and two security guards to get Ben out the canteen, as he had been thrashing like a man possessed, arms and legs kicking wildly. They’d managed to get him out the building and after two failed attempts to barge his way back in, he’d gone to his car and driven away like a bat out of hell. 

Just as the story was being finished, Anton came in, walked over, and sat next to Callum at the table. He was conscious of all the eyes on him and also had an air of defeat around him. “Callum, I’m really sorry, and please tell Ben I’m sorry when you see him.” 

Oti spoke before Callum had a chance to. “What’s going on Anton?! I’ve never seen this much drama. What’s she done?!”

“It’s the dance.” Anton said as he hung his head. “I had nothing to do with it, I found out at the same time as Ben.”

“What about the dance?!” Oti’s voice couldn’t disguise her annoyance.

“She went to the producers without me knowing. She says she’s injured, but not enough to not to dance, just enough that she can’t jive. I don’t know how, but she talked them into giving us Ben and Callum’s dance this week.” 

Callum finally spoke saying “What do you mean “our dance”. There’s no reason two couples can’t both do a waltz.”

Johannes and Chantelle looked at each other, before Johannes told him that they were also waltzing this week. They wouldn’t have three couples doing the same dance, not this early.

“It’s not just the dance” Anton continued. “We’ve been given your movie and song choice as well. I tried to talk them out of it, I can dance to any tune, but it was somehow a done deal. I’ve no choice in the matter. It explains why she was getting me to teach her waltz steps after hours though. I don’t know what her plan was or is, or why she’d do it, but she seems to have executed it well. They’ve given you couples choice, but you need to choose another movie and pick a different song, and you’ve only got two days to put it together. I’m so sorry.” 

Callum felt more confused than ever. He’d come back to tell Ben he didn’t want to do this anymore so this news should be a relief to him if anything, but it wasn’t. What he was actually feeling was utter distress knowing Ben was so upset. 

“Has anyone tried calling him?” Callum asked as he fumbled with his phone. Johannes answered softly, “Of course baby, he’s not answering.” 

Callum asked if he had his address. 

“Yes baby, I do, but he’s most likely in a pub somewhere. If he hasn’t caused an accident, that is.” 

“Please, Johannes. I need to find… _someone_ needs to find him!”

Johannes relented and Callum typed the address into his GPS and said he’d let them know when he tracked him down. When he’d gone, the table just looked at each other, the collective thought being, well… it wasn’t their place to say. Mick didn’t care though. He winked at them and said with a smile, “They’ll figure it out.”

******

Callum tried to ring Ben before he even stepped out into the car park. It rang, which soothed Callum slightly as at least he hadn’t switched his phone off. He didn’t leave any voicemail, choosing to send a text instead.

_“Please tell me where you are **”**_

Callum then got in his car and drove to Ben’s flat. He was relieved to see Ben’s car there when he arrived, even though he hadn’t so much parked it as skidded it sideways over two spaces. Callum parked properly and then pressed the buzzer. No answer, so he pressed again, continually this time, and tried to call his mobile again, but after almost five minutes had passed, he thought Ben must not be in. Surely no-one could ignore a buzzer for that long. He leaned back against the wall sighing when he heard the door click open. It was only one of Ben’s neighbours leaving though. Callum remarked that he was visiting Ben and coupled with his irresistible smile, he had no problem gaining entry. He battered on the door, probably for too long, all the time trying to phone, with it constantly ringing out to voicemail. Then his call didn’t ring but diverted immediately to voicemail. Realising Ben had now probably turned off his phone, Callum felt defeated and slumped down, squatting at the door.

*****

Ben stumbled out the minicab, somehow deftly saving the bottle of whisky he had tucked under his arm. As he stood up and staggered to the door, he looked at where his car was parked, and was pleased to see he had parked it perfectly. He had been sure in his earlier rage that he had just abandoned it where he screeched it to a halt, but the evidence clearly suggested otherwise. He shrugged, and after three attempts, he managed to enter the correct code to unlock the security door. 

Grateful for the bannister, he lurched up the stairs to his floor. Almost crawling up the last few steps, he was surprised to see a bundle of clothes dumped on his doorstep. What the fuck?! He lumbered over to the door, swaying as he ever so gently tried to place the whisky bottle down in order to get his keys. He lost his balance and collapsed onto the pile of clothing, totally bewildered when he heard it say “Ooooof!” 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might be my favourite chapter so far. 
> 
> I know there hasn't been a dance for a while, but our boys are having a hellava week...

Once they had overcome their mutual surprise of finding Callum asleep on Ben’s doorstep, they had made their way indoors, Callum holding Ben up. Once inside Ben swayed and raised his gaze to Callum, his brow furrowed in concentration, scrutinizing him. Callum felt the air thick between them but felt powerless to break the connection.

Ben eventually spoke first. “Whaaatcha doin’ ‘ere?” he slurred. “Kippin’ on my doorstep?”

His trance broken, Callum was quick to reply. “I heard what happened and was worried about ya” he coughed a little then continued, “eh, we were _all_ worried about ya. And by the look of ya, it weren’t misplaced.”

Ben harrumphed and try to stand up of his own volition but had to lean back against the wall. “Tha’sss nice that you care.” he said as he placed his hand on Callum’s cheek. “Jesus Christ Callum! Ya freezin’!” 

They both began to try to look after each other – Callum insisting that if Ben wasn’t going to bed then he should at least sit on the sofa and Callum would make him some food to soak up the booze, and Ben lumbering around to find a blanket insisting that Callum should sit on the sofa and warm up as he felt chilled to the bone. They bickered in the hallway until Ben roared in frustration, shouting that he would _love_ to eat something that Callum could cook for him, but only after he was satisfied he was warmed up. Lowering his tone, he then told Callum it was either that or he could get the fuck out his flat. Standing with one hand on the wall to steady himself, he held the challenge with his eyes, although his focus was a little off. “Wha’ss it gonna be, soldier?!” Callum’s eyes widened in shock at his words but he chose to simply roll his eyes and walk away into the living room.

When Ben staggered in with the blanket, he saw Callum sitting hunched at the end of the sofa trying to warm up. Calmer now, Ben said softly “You didn’t have to check on me, ye know. Can look after myself.” 

Callum was still a bit hurt by the shouting so when he turned to look at him, he scoffed “I think, Ben, the words you’re looking for are “thank you Callum. That was a nice thing you did, looking out for me.””

A lopsided, almost shy smile broke out on Ben’s face, and he lowered his gaze. “Thank you Callum. Tha’ wass a nice thing you did, looking out for me. Not many would. Now, will you wrap yourself in this blanket please and I’ll get you a whisky to warm you up.”

Callum stood up and took the blanket from Ben, placing it around himself like a shawl. He then challenged Ben’s plans, advising him to sit down this time. “I don’t need any whisky, and neither do you. Drink that glass of water, I’ll make myself a cuppa, okay?” 

Ben shrugged and slumped on the sofa, curiously observing Callum as he pottered around the kitchen. It was open plan just off the lounge, with a breakfast bar on the end, and as much as Ben could see, Callum glided around it casually opening and closing cupboards to find what he needed. 

He made two cups of tea and placed one on the table next to Ben’s water, while he took a seat at the opposite end of sofa. “I heard most of what happened” he said to Ben, who was still watching him inquisitively. “Wanna tell me about it?”

Ben broke his gaze, turning to take a noisy slurp of the tea while he said, “If you heard most of wha’ happened, then I ain’t got much to tell ya.” He then grabbed the whisky bottle, splashing some contents into his cup, as Callum rolled his eyes again.

“I get why you were angry Ben, but it sounds like you like you might have over-reacted - just a smidge.” And he gestured “a small amount” with his fingers. Ben huffed a laugh.

“Why d’ya wanna know? Weren’t you coming back to tell me you were chucking it anyway?” 

Ben’s comment startled Callum, and he couldn’t hide it.

“What you shocked fa’?” Ben continued. “I know you don’t want to be elimimate, emilinate, enimilate,” he sighed, “I know you don’t want voted off, but you don’t want to do it any more do ya? You’re as bad as her ye know. Actually, you’re worse.”

Callum looked totally confused. “What?!”

“She don’t hide it. You… I can’t work out if you hate us or if you’re one of us.”

Callum felt like he had been stabbed by Ben’s words. He stood up and stormed to the kitchen area. “You’re drunk Ben, so I’ll ignore that remark. I’ll make you some dinner and then leave you to sleep it off. I only came to make sure you were alright.” He paused for a moment as he found a chopping board before he spoke again. “D’ye know, I weren’t actually looking for thanks, but there was no need to say something like that.” He sniffed as he then clattered a pot onto the counter and slammed a cupboard door shut.

Ben instantly felt ashamed as he saw how he had wounded Callum. “Sorry.” Ben had shifted to the breakfast bar and gave his apology softly. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Callum locked eyes with him for a moment, as if he considered saying something, but if he was, he changed his mind, sighed, and resumed his preparations. 

Ben broke the silence, the liquor loosening his inhibitions and his tongue. “You confuse me, Callum. I can’t work you out. You seem to really enjoy it sometimes, you get lost in the dance but other times, it’s like I don’t know where you are, or worse, I feel that I make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t make me feel uncomfortable, Ben”

“What does then? cos something is.”

“I ain’t uncomfortable Ben. Look, I might ‘ave one or two things on my mind but that’s not what we’re talking about. Four blokes had to hold you back from that Esther today. It’s more than losing your choice of dance. Why were you so angry?”

Ben sighed and indicated his whisky tea was finished, and Callum put the kettle on again. “People think it’s a relief once you’ve come out – and it is, it’s a million times better than being in the closet n’ torturing yourself - but being out ain’t easy all the time either. Especially when you’re a rough boy from a rough area.”

Callum made two fresh cups of tea sliding one to Ben who, having had the foresight to bring his whisky bottle with him, liberally splashed the golden liquid firstly into his own cup and then eyeballing Callum while generously pouring some into his cup too. Callum rose to the challenge, held his gaze, took a big gulp from his cup before placing it back down, indicating that Ben could pour some more. 

Ben began to tell Callum his story, about how his dad was a bit of gangster and so wasn’t particularly pleased when his only son grew up watching musicals instead of football, and wanting to go to dance classes instead of the boxing gym. He talked about how even now, though they are in contact, he knows his dad hasn’t fully accepted him and probably never will. Equally, with one or two exceptions, he found it hard to fit in at dance school too, although not because he was gay, but because he was rough. 

Callum stood motionless, listening intently as Ben talked, reminiscing about the dance teacher who had taught him how to feel the music, and his first boyfriend who taught him how to be proud of who he was, and how he _was_ out and definitely proud, but that coming out isn’t a single event – being out can mean coming out every day. And that was okay, but he knew Esther had issues not only with homosexuality, but with the fact he was working class. “She wouldn’t be bullying Johannes or trying to steal his dances. She’s got a problem with me cos I’m gay but also cos ain’t soft and I ain’t scared.”

Callum nodded as he dished up two bowls of the creamy chicken pasta he made, and then made himself another cup of tea, adding the whisky himself this time. 

They moved back to the living room both sitting with their legs stretched out on the sofa, covered with the blanket, and eating from their laps. Callum was surprised that Ben kept talking in between chews. The floodgates seemed to be open and Ben poured more of his heart out, fleshing out the bones of the rough history he gave in the kitchen. He sat quietly, not sure what to make of the tales of Ben living with his mother in South Africa, before she faked her death (although didn’t tell Ben it was fake at the time, letting him think she really had died) and so arriving back in the UK aged 10, to a country he had no real memory of, and being introduced to a father he could barely remember. He spoke of the terror at his drunken rages, and the psychological and physical abuse he suffered at the hands of a woman his dad was marrying purely to give him a mother. 

Hearing his story, Callum understood the fragility of the boy and why he might have ended up in the Young Offenders Institute twice but was shocked to learn that his first proper boyfriend had died in a brutal homophobic attack. The boyfriend, Paul, had not only been the one to help Ben come out, but had encouraged him to pursue his love of dancing, which after Paul died, had been Ben’s sole focus. Today’s anger was making a bit more sense to him. 

Ben was weeping at times relating the tale, but Callum stayed silent, just letting him talk. Not just because he thought anything he said would just be platitudes and sound empty, but because a lot of what Ben said resonated with him. There were alarm bells ringing in his subconscious making him feel uncomfortable and he didn’t want Ben to pick up on it, misinterpreting the discomfort and blaming himself. 

Ben began to yawn, the whisky now working as a sedative as the adrenaline of the day wore off. Callum nudged him with his leg and said he should get himself to bed. He then stood up to take the bowls and cups to the kitchen. As he did, Ben sleepily said “you can kip here by the way. I know you’re over the limit. I’ll get you more blankets in a minute.” 

Callum washed the dishes and filled the kettle for the morning, before leaning back on the counter and rubbing his face. When he had woken up this morning, he couldn’t have plotted the events of today if his life had depended on it. It felt weird; like it was life changing. Like a day when someone close to you passes suddenly. Events overtake you but you still must put one foot in front of the other. People look at you and talk to you as if you were the same person as yesterday, but you’re not. You’re aware of a seismic shift in your life but the reality hasn’t reached the processing part of your brain yet. Ah, maybe it was just the whisky, muddying his thoughts. He shook his head and walked back through to the lounge to make sure Ben got to bed okay and then to make up a bed for himself on the sofa. 

When he got there, Ben hadn’t moved. “That’s your dishes done, so I’ll just grab those blankets, if you wanna shift off my bed.” Callum said, huffing the last few words out with a laugh. Ben still didn’t move so he walked over and saw that he had fallen asleep. Callum softly shook his shoulder, whispering “Ben, you need to go to bed. I need somewhere to sleep.” Ben just gave a slight groan, shifting his position, sliding lower on the sofa. He was out for the count. Callum went to the cupboard, retrieving a couple more blankets, shaking them out and placing them gently over his dance partner. He then sat on the coffee table and observed him, this young man who seemed so self-assured and confident, yet had a life story worthy of a Dickensian novel. This man who made him so confused. This man from whom he could not tear his gaze. 

He was surprised at how comfortable he felt, unobtrusively being able to examine all Ben’s features without fear of being caught. His eyelashes were dark and lengthy, the closed lids hiding irises of a vibrant blue hue that matched his vibrant personality. His nose while cute was not button, but it suited him perfectly, the nub almost pointing downwards, a soft arrow trying to point that the rest of the owner was worth checking out too. Or maybe it was to draw the eye to his lips which were soft, smooth and the most perfect shade of inviting pink. It had a vibrancy similar to his eyes, but it was not striking; the shade was soft. It was as if an artist had used a couple of pink pastel chalks and then blended and smudged with his fingers to create the most enticing tone. As he looked, Callum realised that’s what Ben’s lips were to him. Enticing. He felt a twitch in trousers and tried to swallow the urge to kiss them. His moral voice was nudging, reminding him that it was in no way acceptable to kiss someone who was unconscious, yet in a blink he found himself hovering above Ben’s face, his gaze flickering between the fluttering lashes and those delicious looking lips. He could feel Ben’s soft breath on his cheek and smell the soft tinge of whisky when he exhaled, and it excited him. He quickly snapped out of his enchantment though when Ben snuffled and shifted his position slightly again. Callum felt vexed but also realised he’d been distracted from the fact that Ben was technically sleeping in his bed. He sighed and decided that being the case, he would sleep in Ben’s bed – he had to sleep somewhere. 

When he stood up and left the lounge, he didn’t see Ben’s eyes shoot open, and blink wildly although as quickly as they opened, they closed, and Ben slipped back into his alcohol induced deep and hard slumber.

As Callum climbed into Ben’s bed, he tried to work out what side Ben slept on, or at least what set of pillows he used. Inhaling the smell of him from the cotton, Callum sank his head into a different pillow, but lay where he could still breathe in his scent and forced his eyes closed in what he thought would be a futile hope of sleep given how bewildered he was at the day’s – and evening’s – events. He languidly stretched out his arm and placed his hand on the lightly Ben-scented pillow to his side, rubbing it gently. He was asleep in an instant. 

Ben eyes blinked open again, this time staying open as he had an urgent need to pee. He relieved the urge and still feeling drunk, staggered back into lounge, going to the kitchen for a glass of water to quench his raging thirst. He spotted the dishes had been washed, and then noted that Callum had covered him with a couple more blankets before he left. The thought of him caring for Ben that way helped block the insistent and intrusive memories of the past day, and he allowed himself a small smile. Sluggishly he wandered to his bedroom and was taken aback at the unknown man shaped lump already there. Cautiously, he wandered over and his whisky addled brain told him it was Callum. He was gently snoring, and it sounded to Ben’s impaired hearing like the muffled purring of a contented cat. In his drowsy state, Ben thought that he must be dreaming though, just like earlier when he startled awake to the feeling that Callum’s face had been hovering above his, leaning in and almost kissing him. The fact that Callum had been making increasingly frequent appearances in his nightly visions of late added to Ben’s belief that he must surely be in a lucid state of dreaming. This being the case, then obviously there would be no consequences to climbing in beside him, and he did so, gratifying himself further by scooching across the bed and wrapping an arm and leg over the slumbering body, snuggling into the object of his affections. His breath hitched as he felt Callum’s arm wind round his own in response. Oh! If he could only have this dream every night! He almost purred like a sleepy kitten himself, and he too was soon fast asleep. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments and please keep them coming! 
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy the tale and this chapter. It feels like the boys are writing this story to be honest. I just follow them around as the story evolves and then do all the typing. 😅 💕

Callum eyes blinked slowly as he woke up, but he chose to keep them closed as he savoured a soft familiar scent that teased his nose as he breathed. He had slept well, felt warm and cosy and was sorely tempted to snuggle in closer and maybe succumb to some more sleep.

Wait. What?! 

His eyes shot open to take in his surroundings and he looked down to see just what or rather _who_ he was snuggling with. His heart rate spiked when he looked down and saw the crown of Ben’s head, his soft, light brown hair flitting ever so slightly when Callum exhaled. He could see the long lashes and how peaceful Ben looked as he slept; he felt how relaxed he was with his arm and leg draped over Callum’s body and his head tucked into Callum’s chest. He must have come to bed during the night and been too drunk to notice Callum was already there. But how had they ended up wrapped together?! And why did it make Callum feel as calm and wonderfully relaxed as Ben seemed to be?! Maybe he was in that in-between state amid sleep and waking, his brain still fogged by last night’s whisky. Yes, that must be it. 

As a young hotblooded male, he often woke up aroused, and this morning had been no exception. As he thought back to last night and how mesmerised he had been of Ben after the whisky loosened his inhibitions, he felt himself get a little harder and he slid his hand down, absentmindedly stroking himself gently with an open palm.

He gazed down again at those dark lashes, and those inviting lips, and although he could only see a tantalising little hint of the lips from this angle, he curved his hand and increased the pressure and speed on himself, totally transfixed by the view. Ben then suddenly but slowly wriggled slightly, sighing deeply, and Callum immediately snapped out his trance. As serene as he felt, he really wasn’t ready to accept this, and he most definitely wasn’t ready for both him _and_ Ben to wake up like this. Shifting as gently as he could, he side-winded his way out of Ben’s embrace and gingerly got out of bed, grabbing his jeans, shoes and socks before hurriedly heading to the bathroom. 

Washed and dressed, he sat at the breakfast bar, sipping some fresh coffee with the radio on in the background, working his way through the pile of emails and texts that had been missed last night. He had settled his mind to hang around, primarily to make sure Ben was okay but also because he had **_decided_**. He was still in denial about his thoughts and feelings, and being around Ben confused him a lot, however Ben obviously had a lot of unresolved pain in his life even though he masked it well. A firm believer in everything happening for a reason, Callum thought about life and about fate and how conflicted he had been recently, but now he was sure that his internal conflict had only arisen because he hadn’t known _why_ events had conspired to throw him and Ben together. It was obvious now though. This wasn’t about _his_ journey; it was about Ben’s. That being the case, the decision was easy. He would do whatever he could to help him. 

***

Ben woke up and was scared to open his eyes for the fear any light would blind him. He vaguely recalled drinking a _lot_ of whisky yesterday, and he was sure his head should hurt more than it did. He had another reason not to open his eyes though. He didn’t want to shatter the beautiful illusion he had been under when he’d crawled into bed in the middle of the night. The illusion that Callum had been here, in his bed, and he could wrap himself around him and drift off somewhere warm and comforting in his mind. The illusion that had been so strong, he believed he could smell Callum’s scent on his sheets. 

He rolled onto his back and gave a long exhale. What a day yesterday had been, and he groaned as he realised he would have to face the consequences today. He was still angry over what had happened, but his rage had subsided at least. Fuck ‘em, he thought. Fuck ‘em all. 

He headed to the bathroom, vaguely aware it sounded like he’d left the kitchen radio on overnight. It wasn’t like him to listen to the radio at night though and he thought maybe he had put it on to sooth a restless and drunken mind after Callum had left. He would need to apologise to him today. Probably the only apology that would be genuine. He couldn’t believe Callum had searched for him, falling asleep waiting on his doorstep, just to make sure he was okay. Yet more evidence of what a special person he was, and how unworthy of him Ben was. He cringed as he realised he was fairly sure he hadn’t accepted what Callum had done with any grace. He hoped that they hadn’t parted on bad terms, but the little hangover devil perched on his shoulder was feeding the black paranoia that accompanies drunken blackouts and he couldn’t find the assurances he was searching his for in his memory bank. Point of fact, he couldn’t actually remember Callum leaving. They had been talking, although he couldn’t remember what about, and eating the food Callum made for him. Shit! That’s right! Callum not only had waited to make sure he was okay, but he’d also then insisted on feeding him. So, they had been eating and talking but the next thing Ben could recall was waking up on the sofa and going to bed. He really hoped he hadn’t been rude or fought with him before he left. 

He shuffled from the bathroom through to the living room, coming to an abrupt halt as his heart stopped, convinced he must be hallucinating. 

“Eh, morning sleepyhead” Callum said quietly, but there was still a cheeriness to his tone. “How’s yer ‘ead?” 

Ben’s head was in a tailspin, that’s how Ben’s head was. “Eh, yeah, I’m a bit rough if I’m honest” and he gave a little half smile as he scratched his head. “A few too many shandies last night I think”

Callum laughed as he got up from the breakfast bar and walked round to get him a coffee. “Well, you had a tough day, but it’s done now. Get this coffee in ya and then we can go and face the music. You might not want to check your phone just yet though. There was a big enough pile of crap on mine. In fact, if you trust me, give your phone and I can delete the ones I know you don’t need to see. Suffice to say they're not happy we missed our spot on "It Takes Two", but fuck 'em, eh!” 

Ben was still really confused. “How did you get back in this morning? Did ya take my keys?”

“Back in?”

“The flat. It’s cool if you took the keys, it’s fine. I owe you an apology at least anyway and a lot of thanks for, well…”

Callum looked down and shuffled his feet where he stood, a redness flushing from his chest, chasing up his face to the tips of his ears. “You got a memory blank from last night then?”

Ben’s stomach lurched as he wondered what he meant and why was he blushing. “Eh, yeah a bit. Wasn’t out of order I hope?” He was searching Callum’s face for answers.

“Nah mate, you were fine. Honest. Bit belligerent when you first got back, but you were fine after that. Ate your food and fell asleep.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment, until from nowhere, Ben suddenly blurted out “We!!” He looked as surprised as Callum when the word the left his lips, his sub-conscious obviously taking control of his mouth before he could engage his brain. 

“What?!”

Ben took a deep breath and repeated himself, softly this time. “We. You said “We”. Before _WE_ go and face the music. None of this music is yours to face though, is it?”

Not realising he was holding his breath, Callum exhaled in relief and then gave Ben a shy smile. Ben was glad he was now sitting down as the sight of Callum’s smile, _this morning_ , in _his_ kitchen, would have caused his knees to buckle.

Callum then spoke. “Yeah it is. We’re partners right? So that means your music is my music. I ain’t letting you go in and face those pricks yourself. It weren’t just your dance she stole. It was mine too!” His smile went full beam as he spoke and Ben’s stomach flipped. “Go get a shower, I’ll make more coffee and then we can go and sock it to ‘em.” 

Ben was speechless and sat staring at Callum in disbelief. Apart from Paul, no-one had ever stuck up for him before. No-one. 

“Ben! Go!” 

Ben slipped off the chair and feeling dazed, wandered off to do what he was told.

***

Believing Ben to probably still be over the limit, Callum insisted on driving them both to the studio. When they arrived, they immediately walked up to the producers’ office for the showdown. Callum had emailed ahead while Ben was showering, telling them what time they would be there and he emphasised that this meeting was actually at Callum and Ben’s behest, not theirs. Callum was always brave when he was in protection mode. 

There were two producers, the the stocky short woman who had been at the meeting when they’d asked Callum to dance with Ben, and the Senior Executive Producer, a guy called Simon who Callum hadn’t met before. There were also a couple of lackeys whose names and purpose were not given or explained. Callum saw Ben’s shoulders tense the minute they walked into the meeting room and he reached out and put his hand on his arm, hoping he would pick up on the signal not to lose his rag again. Ben looked back and nodded, silently conceding his voice to him. 

Almost immediately, Simon was first to speak, and he launched a verbal attack on Ben’s behaviour during, but more specifically after, the meeting the day before. Callum’s arm shot out at his side to stop Ben before the dancer even had time to react. Out the corner of his eye, Callum saw Ben shift back in his seat and then glance at Callum, nodding again that he could comment for both.

Ben was quite surprised when he heard Callum speaking. He didn’t pull any punches in his criticism of the producers inviting someone like this Esther on the show, outlining the frankly bullying conversation she’d had with him in the pub, asking why she was allowed to dance if she was injured, and crucially why she was getting special treatment - her voting history in objection to same-sex marriage was a matter of public record yet here she was, being allowed to take not only their dance, but their song choice and theme. It was tantamount to sabotage, blatant homophobia and would not make for good reading in tabloids. Simon choked and spat out his coffee. 

The stocky woman bristled in her seat and challenged Callum back. “Why do you care so much now anyway Callum? You didn’t even want to dance with Ben in the first place, your agent had to talk you into it!”

Callum winced, closing his eyes in frustration and shame, knowing that even though he couldn’t see him, Ben would be stung at those words. He looked round at him, seeing hurt and pain the words had inflicted in those beautiful blue eyes. “I didn’t not want to dance with you” he said “and I never once said no.” Ben didn’t move or look in his direction. He _was_ stung, because even though Callum obviously hadn’t said no, his reaction to the little fat woman made it obvious he hadn’t leapt at the idea with open arms either. More evidence that he just wasn’t interested. It wasn’t Callum’s fault, but it made Ben pissed off and miserable all the same. 

Turning back to face the producers, Callum spoke again with confidence. “So ’ere’s the deal. She can have the dance, the song, the lot and I promise I won’t leak anything about what’s happened, but only on the condition we get to dance what we want, to what we want and we don’t announce anything til just before we dance on Saturday.” 

Simon didn’t like the idea one bit, but his options were limited. Technically neither Callum nor Ben had anything to lose now, a consequence he knew was a risk when Esther had put her plan into action, but he had hoped they wouldn’t have cottoned on to realise the position of power it put them in. They had realised the producers didn’t need more scandal with this series, and the show certainly didn’t need accusations of homophobic bias. The gay following the show had was too valuable. The only resistance he could think to put up was to say, “The band will at least need to know the song choice – they’ll need to practice.”

Before Callum had a chance to reply, Ben stood up and said “We’ll use a track, and you can deal with any licensing issues later. C’mon Cal, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”

*******

They walked in silence down to their dance studio, Ben pouting all the way. Callum thought of offering an explanation as to why he hadn’t said yes immediately when asked to dance with Ben, but when he looked at his face, he thought better of it. Callum was maybe a bit further on in his journey dealing with his obtrusive thoughts and feelings, but he still wasn’t near to being able to admit and accept himself for who he was, and he’d never divulge to anyone the panic and what had really been going through his mind when they suggested pairing him with Ben and why he’d been so reticent to agree. Recalling his resolution from this morning, to help Ben any way he could, he put his hands in his pockets and started quietly whistling. Ben shook his head, wondering what he had to be so bloody cheerful about. 

In the studio Callum was astonished at what Ben proposed. When they’d talked in the car on the way in about demanding a free dance/song choice, he had no idea Ben was cooking something like this up. He also didn’t realise the level of commitment he was going to have to make to the dance either. They worked solidly for 13 hours straight on the Thursday, and Ben insisted they both be at the studio for 6am on Friday. They practiced 18 hours that day, Ben finally relenting at midnight and telling Callum he could have a longer lie tomorrow - he wouldn’t need to be at the studio until 9am. Callum was sore from head to foot and wasn’t sure he would manage to pull this off for Ben, but he promised himself he would give it his best shot. We're going big or we're going home, Ben had said and without hesitation Callum agreed.

Saturday morning and he arrived at quarter to nine, to ensure he was ready for Ben at 9am sharp. Callum thought if Ben hadn’t pursued dancing, he might have made a good drill sergeant. As he walked from his car to the entrance, he saw Ben with Johannes and Mick, all three of them looking a bit shifty. “Eh, morning guys!” he called out as he approached. They stopped talking and all looked round towards him, instantly changing their body language and they began cracking jokes about Esther and the only repeatable one was how many Tory MPs would it take to change a lightbulb. (None. It is Conservative Party policy that the lightbulb should learn to change itself.)

Once inside, Ben handed Callum his clothing for tonight. He’d decided to even avoid wardrobe this week and had ordered their simple outfits online. Callum nodded and they changed quickly to do a full dress rehearsal. Callum was excited to perform later – the piece was difficult but powerful, and he really hoped it would work. He had no idea of how the night would pan out though. No idea at all. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon the producer tries to work out just what what the Movie might be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for all kudos and kind comments. ❤️
> 
> It will be a double chapter posting today, so don't be disappointed the dance isn't below. It deserved a chapter all to itself. 🥰

“BEN!!” Simon was becoming increasing impatient and was calling after him backstage. It was only the two of them in the corridor, and his shout echoing off the walls. 

Ben turned round with a smirk. He was enjoying making the producer sweat. “It’s not time yet” Ben said in a sing song voice, pointing and tapping his left wrist. He continued “I don’t know why you’re getting your knickers in a twist anyway, it’s just a dance.” 

“If it’s just a dance, then you can tell me what it is.” 

“Well, _Simon_ , see the thing is, no I can’t. Because you can’t be trusted not to spill your guts to that poisonous piece of shit.” He made a circle with his index fingers and thumbs. “This is the Circle of Trust, Simon” and then he outstretched an arm, pointing “and this _, THIS_ is you.”

Simon sighed in frustration. “Ben, you’re being toxic. You’re ruining the colour and sparkle of the show with this behaviour. There will be consequences!” Ben raised an eyebrow at the remark and Simon responded by rolling his eyes.

Ben lowered his voice and growled at him. “Don’t you fucking dare roll your eyes at me and don’t you fucking dare threaten me with consequences! This is _all_ your fault. What you allowed to happen this week – that’s what’s fucking toxic! The colour of the show?! All the vibrancy of what we do here? You’ve taken your sweaty palm and rubbed and smudged it all to fuck. Where there was colour round here, now there are just dull shades of what we’re here to do. If there is no colour here tonight Simon, well, that’ll be on you. You’re the one who deserves any punishment that’s due. Fucking talking to me about fucking consequences.” He turned to walk away.

Simon was shaken at the tone and vehemence of Ben’s statement and thought it might be wise to change tack. Speaking softly, he said “Ben, look, we need something. How are we going to even introduce you?! We need _something_ for Alan to announce!” 

There was a dark fire burning in Ben’s eyes as he turned back. He chewed his cheek for a moment and scratched his chin. “Okay. It’s contemporary.”

“Can I have the song too? C’mon Ben, please?”

“I’ve just explained why I can’t tell you that, why I can’t trust you. Why can’t you ever just _listen_?!” He shook his head at him and walked away, Simon watching him go, before he too turned and walked away, defeated. As he did so, he heard Ben shout “Beyonce!” 

“What?”

Ben growled in faux annoyance. “Why don’t you listen?! Beyonce!”

Simon almost skipped with excitement into the producers room. “Right, he said it’s contemporary dance and the artist is Beyonce. The movie has gotta be “Dreamgirls” right? Get the soundtrack up, see if we can narrow it down.”

The lackeys scurried around, grabbing phones and tapping wildly, wanting to be the first who would work out the track.

One of them called out, “Maybe it’s just that!! Dreamgirls! _“We’re your Dreamgirls, boys!_ ” Maybe they’re doing a “We’re your Dream _boys_ , boys” kinda take. Must be! I mean, it’s so camp!”

Lackey number 2 shook her head. “Might not be. It’s not just Beyonce on that track. What solos did she sing?” and she began to frantically scroll before crying out “Listen!!”

The room all looked at her, anticipating her answer. 

She rolled her eyes. “No. Listen! Listen is the song. That’s the only solo Beyonce track on there.” 

Simon grinned. “That’s it!! That’s IT!! And that’s what he said to me! He said “Why don’t you listen, _pause_ Beyonce!””

The room relaxed and high fived each other as Simon exhaled happily and sat down in his big, cushioned chair. Stupid fool he thought. Jumped up hoofer thinking he could get one over on him. Realistically, it was a small victory, but he’d take it. At least there would be no surprises. 

He was unaware that at that very moment he had been speaking with Ben in the corridor, Lindsay, a popular TV soap editor for one the dailys, had been given a hot scoop by Johannes that he couldn’t, in all good conscience, sit on. Apart from all the the drama it contained, Callum was one of, if not _the_ nicest, sweetest guy in showbiz and he didn’t deserve this _._ He quickly tapped out a synopsis of what he knew so far, headlining it ‘Soap Star Victim of Strictly Song and Dance Sabotage?’. He double checked he'd remembered the all important question mark, and then hit the ‘Tweet.’ button. It didn’t take long to gain some traction. 


	16. Chapter 16 – Week 3 – Movie Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the link to the Movie week dance track. I'm continually obsessed by it. 
> 
> I play the songs over when writing the dances, and then as I'm proof reading, but I have also found myself taking five minutes to escape as I listen. Put headphones on, lie down and close your eyes, then visualise the dance. You can add any steps or moves you like - reading dances can be as difficult as writing them, so take a break, indulge yourself and let your imagine take over. 🤩
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/track/38OWHV80YwfFMir6aHYb8B?si=9nRcTONwQv-dubvjmemaVA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dance. Hopefully it is close to how good you imagined it could be.

Backstage, Ben held his breath as he watched Callum coming back following his throwing up ritual. He couldn’t believe how hot someone could look in such a plain, dull outfit. They were both barefoot, dressed similarly in plain grey silky trousers and vests. The only difference was Callum’s outfit was lighter than the darker shade of Ben’s.

They were last to dance tonight and Callum, while excited, was more nervous than ever. “Ben, d'you honestly think we can pull this off?” His eyes were fully of uncertainty. 

Ben rubbed his arm soothingly. “Ain’t even a question.”

“Go big or go home?”

“Go big or go home"

Ben’s stomach somersaulted as Callum gave him the widest smile and did the winky blinky thing that he did, which Ben was sure would end up being the death of him, as it was simultaneously the cutest yet sexiest thing ever and every time he did it, Ben was sure he’d burst.

He survived it this time though and smiled back as Callum hoisted himself up, looping and wrapping, getting himself into position. 

_“And now……”,_

As Alan the announcer began his introduction, up in the production room, Simon's attention was diverted when one of the lackeys rushed over and showed him his phone. The screen informed him that trending at number eight on UK Twitter was #StrictlySabotage. Number 12 was #PesterEsther. 

“…..Dancing ‘Couples Choice’ to “Listen" from the movie Dreamgirls; Ben Mitchell and Callum Highway!!!” 

Ben couldn’t help but laugh as he heard Alan over the speakers. Simple Simon had fallen for it. Hook, line and sinker. As he grinned, he nodded over to Johannes who clacked away on the laptop they'd hooked up, before giving Ben the thumbs up.

The sound of a distorted piano, in minor key, drifted melancholically into the air as Ben stepped forward into a forest of about 50 aerial silk ribbons, all different shades of grey. Soon, a breathy, croaky vocalisation filled the room. It was Beyonce alright, Ben hadn’t lied about that, but it was the remix of Crazy in Love she had done as part of the soundtrack to a film that was quite different to Dreamgirls. It couldn't be Ben’s fault Simon had focused on the wrong clues.

Crouching, Ben darted through the silks, zig zagging, his gaze flitting around as he seemed to be searching for something. He stood up, stretching his arms out, grabbing and tugging a couple of the ribbons as he danced around, still searching. His eyes then shot upwards as Callum suddenly appeared from above, unravelling down one of ribbons into Ben’s arms, Ben then placing him gracefully to stand in front of him. They gazed at one another intensely, drinking in the sight before them, putting out a hand to stroke the other’s cheek. Moving away, they elegantly ballet danced around each other, before Callum grabbed Ben and held him to up to wrap himself in the silks, tying himself in a way that one silk held him like a sling allowing his arms to remain free. Callum watched and then weaved his way through the “forest” as if running from Ben. The silks were on tracks, so Ben could pull himself forward and “search” for his partner, motioning cracking a whip with a free ribbon. They found each other, and fake fought in slow motion, Ben “punching” and Callum retaliating, pushing him away, before sitting down and turning his back, forlorn. Ben pulled himself to Callum again, this time gently holding his head, dipping down to place a kiss on his crown. Staring intently upwards, Callum then pulled himself up, wrapping himself in the same way Ben had. They swung to and fro, repeating the chasing and retreating, the silks ultimately entangling, pulling them closer together. They moved side to side of each other a few times, as though air kissing, before their faces met touching foreheads. Staring fiercely at each other, Ben reached out taking Callum’s hands and placing them above his head, pulling a fresh silk and binding his wrists. He then spun Callum, pushing him round to encircle him as he was spinning before grabbing and pulling him in, threading him like a needle through his ribbons, meaning they were finally knotted together, Ben holding Callum’s head, gazing into his eyes as though he was about to kiss him. As Beyonce vocalised the last few seconds of the track, the tied-up couple were pulled along the tracks, slowly gliding their way to disappear into the shadows.

***** 

Lowered to the floor, they disentangled themselves, beaming at each other ecstatically, as they had indeed pulled it off - the dance had been flawless. Callum, face flushed with endorphins, gestured to the dancefloor and gave his beautiful and luxurious belly laugh saying “although that sounds like we might be going home”. The auditorium was so utterly silent, you could have heard a pin drop. Callum just didn’t care about that anymore. He’d helped Ben give a huge middle finger to The Powers that Be, and seeing Ben so pleased made him happy. 

Ben stopped untying himself to lock eyes with Callum and responded with a simple “Fuck ‘em?”

“Fuck ‘em all!” Callum answered, launching into that laugh again.

Just at that, they heard a noise crack through the silence - someone had begun to clap, slowly, loudly, deliberate. They peeked out and saw it was Craig, standing up at his podium. They looked at each other and then laughed again as they heard the crowd begin to join Craig in his applause. As they walked out to chat with Tess and take whatever judgement was coming, the reaction of the audience, dancers and judges was reaching a most incredible crescendo. They had a standing ovation, and the room was filled with the loudest cheers and whistles. Both men beamed and Callum grabbed Ben’s hand, giving it a squeeze. Ben’s caught his breath as he did so, being further surprised when Callum didn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that I'm just a fan, not an author 😬 and I'm most definitely amateur, not a pro but I am trying hard to be consistent with my work. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter - and I hope you enjoy the Fifty Shades version of Crazy in Love. I love it's darkness and I think Ballum reflect a kind of dark love sometimes. 
> 
> As always, your comments are always very much appreciated. ❤


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reaction and aftermath...

They stood for almost five minutes while the ovation and applause continued. Callum felt overwhelmed and squeezed Ben’s hand again. That was almost all too much for Ben as well and he couldn’t stop himself grabbing Callum into a tight, tight hug, and they both choked back the tears. 

Eventually, the crowd calmed down and the noise petered out, leaving two trembling dancers awaiting judgement. Tess was laughing as she spoke with them. “Well boys, that was unexpected!” The pair just laughed, still a little out of breath. “Not the Beyoncé track we had anticipated at all, but safe to say you’ve wowed the audience!” At that, applause once more rippled through the crowd. “And it seems to be an evening of firsts. I’ve never seen Craig give a standing ovation before! That dance was really something else! I see why you’ve been so secretive this week! Callum, how are you feeling?”

Callum just shook his head and said ‘Overwhelmed. I'm just….. such a tough dance to learn, but so powerful to perform. My legs are like jelly!”

Tess turned to Craig for his remarks, who had already raised an eyebrow when Callum mentioned his legs.

“Your legs are looking solid enough from here Callum.” He said salaciously and Callum blushed his major blush that started at his chest and spread over his cheeks and to the tips of his ears. Ben instinctively stood a bit closer to him.

Seeing the blush, Craig laughed in contrition and apologised, genuinely sorry to have caused him such embarrassment. “Okay, I shall be better behaved in giving my judgement, gentlemen. Now, as you know, I like to make my little jokes about “I hated it… as it wasn’t long enough and all that but I shall be deadly serious tonight. No jokes, no gawjuss, no fab-u-lous. I can’t believe what I just witnessed. I’m glad the applause was that long, because to be honest, I was speechless.” He had to stop for more applause. "Ben – who knew you had choreography like that in you? Callum – I cannot believe you’ve never really danced before this and…. well…to have the core strength needed for the silks but still have the softness and fluidity of your movements, the grace and elegance, and the storytelling!! The music choice was brave but wow. So powerful. I really did feel immersed in heartache of being scared to love, attempting to push it away and deny yourself, but you can’t deny destiny and so end up entangled together anyway. I don't think you can deny the destiny that paired you two as dancers either. It was a privilege to sit here and be a witness that. An absolute privilege.

The other judges comments were along the same vein; just how outstanding the performance was and how excited they were to see what else they may have up their sleeves for future dances. All four judges then stood and applauded once more as the two men left them to run up the stairs for the chat with Claudia, while they decided the scores.

Craig 10

Shirley 10

Motsi 10

Bruno 10

Week 3 Total 40

Callum burst into tears as the two were mobbed by their fellow pros and contestants as Claudia did a piece to camera - no-one in the history of the show had ever got a perfect score this early in the competition. Week 3 and four 10s. It was crazy!

Once out of sight of the cameras, Johannes pulled Ben aside and showed him his phone. “Bin" he said in his characteristic accent, “You guys have melted Twitta!! Look at this! Callum! Come here and see this! The couple scrolled through the phone in disbelief. 

They continued to scroll through their own phones, trying to take in the impact the dance had. Callum went to ‘trending' to see if they were possibly there. His jaw dropped and he nudged Ben to look. #StrictlySabotage was number 1, but there was #Ballum #VoteforBallum and #GlitterBallBallum up there too. “Ben, we have a ship name! Are you seeing this?! We’re an actual ship!!” Callum belly laughed.

Ben himself was truly overwhelmed and trying desperately to keep a grip on his emotions. He had been on a rollercoaster this week, and it was all getting a bit much for him now. The dance was over, but the reaction was far bigger than he anticipated. He was physically and emotionally exhausted and just wanted run and hide, but Callum looked so happy and he didn’t want to spoil that. He did notice in the hubbub that Callum kept catching his eye, as if he were looking out for him. 

The happy bubble had to burst at one point though, and after the show had finished, Simon came storming through. “CALLUM!! You PROMISED!! You said you wouldn’t say anything! Yet somehow bloody Lindsay bloody Duncan managed to have a tea-time scoop?! There will be consequ…..”

Ben interrupted him. “Callum had nothing to do with it Si, so wind ya neck in. In the meeting, _he_ promised not to say anything, and he didn’t. _I_ didn’t promise anything. Go check yer lackeys notes.”

Johannes then piped up too. “As much as you may want the glory Bin, you’re not getting it!” and he stuck his tongue out. “It wasn’t _Ben_ who went to the press, Simon. It was me. We don’t need that kind of poison around us", he continued as he gestured to Esther. Anton had abandoned her and she was standing alone, all traces of smugness gone from her expression. She look extremely uncomfortable and very much alone. Before Simon could respond to Johannes though, Chantelle spoke up. “It can’t have been you Jo" she said. “It was me! I went to Lindsay!”

Next to speak was Tina. “Don’t you take glory that ain’t yours! It weren’t her, it were me!”.

She was then nudged from the side by Mick who joined in this sequined Spartacus remake. “Nah, it were me!” and soon all pros and contestants were clamouring at Simon all trying to take the blame or more realistically, the credit, for having ‘outed' Esther. Ben went to walk over to her, but was stopped by Callum placing his hand out on his chest. “Leave her, Ben.” Ben looked up him, Callum’s stunning blue eyes were wide open, his pupils huge with honesty and determination, but looking at him full of concern too. “She’ll get hers, Ben. She’ll get hers.” Ben found himself lost in the blue and felt wrapped up in comfort with Callum’s words. 

“You’re right, Cal. She ain’t worth nothing.”

“Exactly. Listen, you should go home, you look exhausted. You okay to drive? I can take ya if you want?”

Ben squinted slightly at the offer. He wanted it very much, but he felt like one of those marathon runners that ‘hit the wall”, and anyway he really only wanted Callum to drive him home if he came home with him. 

*****

The next day was the elimination show, and Ben felt more himself after a long and restorative sleep, aided by the fact he still imagined he could smell Callum on his sheets. He decided he couldn’t wash them while the illusion lingered. It brought him solace.

Ben arrived at the studio not long before Callum and they were both summoned ‘upstairs'. Simon was still angry about the night before and the ‘leak' and was stomping around his office like a bear with a sore head. Callum and Ben sat exchanging glances, like two naughty boys brought before the headmaster, as Simon stomped and ranted. Ben just couldn’t be bothered. “Look Si,” he knew Simon hated being called that, “get to the point or I’m just gunna walk out this room right now. I ain’t got time for tantrums.” Callum burst out laughing, looking at him, raising an eyebrow and Ben laughed too, bathing in the delight of the soft rumbling that was coming from his partner. He really must try to make Callum laugh more. It was a balm.

Simon did get to point, realising it might be better for his blood pressure to actually get the couple out his sight. The longer they sat there, the more Simon felt they fed his rage, and it was beginning to exhaust him. “Okay then" he said. “You’re doing the salsa next week, and the song is Copa Cabana. I don’t want to hear any protests, and it’s not open to negotiation.”

Ben looked at Callum and nodded towards the door. “Okay dokey.” was Ben’s short and sweet reply, and both men stood up and left the office. Simon slumped himself into his chair and growled in frustration. 

Lined up on the stairs, up one step behind Callum, Ben was still a bit nervous. It was all very well convincing the judges, and the social media reaction had given him a bit of hope, but the dance had been a gamble he was still worried they might end up in the dance off. He had enjoyed going big. He didn’t want to go home. He placed his hand on Callum’s shoulder, hoping it would reassure him. It did and more when Callum then placed his hand over his, giving his knuckles a little rub. Ben shuffled his position as he his knees weakened slightly. 

He needn’t have worried, as their names were called as the first couple through to next week. Callum hugged him tightly, and Ben let himself melt into it. 

There was more joy to come though, as Esther and poor Anton were the first couple named for the dance off. When Karen and Shakil were announced as their competition, Ben knew it was over for her. 

When it was over and Esther had indeed been ~~kicked off~~ eliminated, he was keen to wander into the crowd of dancers that usually surround the losing couple, so he could sidle up and rile her, but he was surprised to see not one single other competitor stepped on the dance floor. Esther was left on the floor, with only Anton smiling through gritted teeth until the signal came that transmission was over. Then she was truly alone, accompanied only by the bitterness and hate in her heart. Ben seized his chance and walked over before Callum could spy him and try to stop him. 

“I just came to say thank you Lady Fester" and he gave a bow of his head.

“I don’t believe you’ll ever have reason to thank me” she sniped back.

“Well, I don’t know about that. Callum and I blew up social media last night and it’s all thanks to you. Quarter of a mill hits our dance has on YouTube as well. I really am truly grateful. Just, eh, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” And with that he pressed two fingers to his lips and blew a kiss, turned his back and walked away. As he did, Callum caught his eye, waiting at the edge of the dance floor, smiling softly. “Well done” he said.

“What for? I thought you'd be disappointed I couldn't leave her alone. ”

“Well, yeah but you didn't lose it with her. Can’t have been easy for ya.”

Ben shrugged and smiled back. “It seems easier to do around you.” 

Callum laugh and said “C’mon” as he threw his arm around Ben’s shoulder and led him off to the after-show throng.

Later, they walked together to their cars, stopping and looking at each other before opening any doors . They held each others gaze for longer than would be natural between colleagues, before Ben finally broke the silence. 

“Thank you, by the way.”

“What for?”

“Being so professional. I doubt I would have survived this week without you, Callum.”

“Professionalism had nothing to do with it.”

Ben looked up, puzzled. “But, I was sure you wanted to quit?”

“I did.”

“What changed your mind?”

Callum didn’t reply immediately, just holding Ben’s gaze and the air was heavy as lead between them. Callum smiled as he then said:

“You.”

Ben was speechless and could only stare at Callum in puzzlement and wonder.

He stepped forward and placed a hand on Ben’s arm. “Reckon you fight most of your battles on your own. Thought it was about time someone stuck around and stuck up for ya.”

Ben found his voice, but it was weak. “And are ya? Sticking around?” He was looking up at Callum again, his eyes pleading while searching for answers.

Callum chuckled and the big dimple on his left cheek appeared and Ben just wanted to fall into his arms and melt. 

“Reckon I might, yeah. Maybe even long enough for ya to see your worth. If I live that long!” He snuffled out a laugh. 

Taken aback by the statement Ben said “Well, I mean, I don’t need lookin…”

His voice trailed off as Callum took another step closer to him still and his hand slipped down to hold Ben's, skimming a thumb over his knuckles. Ben gulped and stood motionless; transfixed. Callum leaned in and kissed him on his cheek, his lips lingering for more than just a few seconds before he whispered “Its not about need, I want to do this. You are a good bloke, Ben.”

Callum broke the embrace and walked round to the driver’s door of his car. “Tomorrow morning then? At the Copa?!”. He flashed his quiver inducing smile once more before climbing in and driving off. Ben still hadn’t moved and was only broken out his stupor by Oti’s voice laughingly calling across the car park. 

“Close your mouth boy! You’ll catch flies!!”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your patience over Christmas and New Year and hope you enjoy this next chapter! 
> 
> I've shelved all other stuff I'm working on to be able to focus solely on this and make sure the updates are more regular and consistent. 
> 
> Thanks for all kudos and comments received! xxx

Ben's heart leapt to his mouth and he didn’t know what would pop out first; his eyes out of his head or his dick out his trousers. “Jesus Chr…” he couldn’t even finish speaking, having to puff out his cheeks out and exhale.

Callum had just walked into the dance room in full costume for dress rehearsal and Ben had been rendered speechless. The white trousers were eye wateringly tight, as if they’d been sprayed on; the smooth fabric scandalously hugging his arse cheeks making them look like two nutmegs wrapped in a silk handkerchief.

However, if his rear was scandalous, his front was obscene. 

“Callum, mate…” Ben found his voice, but words were eluding him still. 

“What?!” Poor Callum flushed a deep red from the bottom of his V exposed chest to the tips of his ears, and his (face) cheeks were burning brighter than the sun as Ben’s eyes devoured him. 

“Erm, look, I realise that, eh, wow" he had stop to take a breath before continuing, “You’re obviously a show-er, I mean you surely _can’t_ be grower but… well…” and he paused again, shakily exhaling. 

Callum looked himself up and down and then looked over at Ben, feelings of insecurity evident in his deep blue puppy eyes. 

“Ben, help me out, please. What’s wrong with the costume?!”

Ben couldn’t stop himself giving a laugh and had to shuffle his feet to move his position and hide his own body's growing appreciation for the vision before him. 

“From where I’m standing, there ain’t nothing wrong with your outfit. Absolutely nothing. Its… its perfect, but, c'mon Cal, you gotta have _some_ self-awareness! You’re obviously a bit bigger than average male Boo-Boo. You look…, I mean…, amazing, but you can’t go on TV before the watershed showing yourself off like that. We need to get ya to wardrobe. They need to get more material in the front of those trousers.”

Callum blushed an even deeper shade of red as Ben muttered, “just hope they’ve got enough fabric!”

Callum wanted to curl and die now, and placed his hands in front of his bits, a minor stab at modesty. 

“Callum, you’ve got bigger hands than most too, but even they ain’t big enough.”

“Don’t make fun of me Ben", Callum looked ready to cry. 

Ben reached out and gave Callum's arm a rub. “I’m not making fun. Promise. But, well, even if I didn’t have an eye for that sort of thing, I wouldn’t be able to help but notice. You do know most men would give their eye teeth to be hung like ya?! I now know why Whitney didn’t want to give you up.”

Callum gave a weak laugh, but still blushed and Ben took his hand to take him to wardrobe. “Walk behind me and I’ll preserve your decency" he said. “In case we bump into Craig. I mean he’s older now – his heart might give out. But if I’m honest, I’m actually more worried what’ll happen if we bump into Shirley."

Callum belly laughed, and Ben, who had been feeling better since the success of the weekend, now felt high with the effect of the laugh giving him that popped champagne cork feeling in his tummy, the simple act of holding hands coupled with the process of committing the image of Callum’s cock outlined in those trousers to memory.

** Week 4 – Salsa  **

Copa Cabana – Barry Manilow

**** <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2d7cujfiVkGKY39lj4FL?si=-3JtCMKyQwG_zdTCmelKmw>

The outfits, Callum's suitably altered at the front for family viewing, looked great as they took their places for the next live show. The tightness of the trousers was now (just) on the right side of decency and they had matching white calypso tops, V slashed down to the navel, with ruffled sleeves in the rainbow colours of the LQBTQ+ flag. 

They were happy to toe the line this week – the point had been made with the Fifty Shades dance last week. It felt like the pressure was off now, so they could just _enjoy_ themselves now, like they should have from the start. To keep it easy, Ben had said the dance ‘story’ would just be that of the song, a love triangle involving Tony, Rico and Lola, and Callum was fully onboard with the idea. Although not heavily participant in the dance, Oti also agreed to play ‘Lola' for them and she looked absolutely stunning with a white skirt slit to her hip with matching rainbow ruffles at the hems, and just a plain white bralette top. 

The dance was brilliant; nothing over complex, but it was fast and sexy, with hips rolling like wagon wheels, and the boys were obviously having fun with the storytelling; Callum as “Tony" energetically sliding across the prop bar and a staged fight performance that was outrageously camp - the ‘punches’ being thrown as if they’d both graduated from the Ham School of Acting. 

They both looked elated when they finished, beautiful beaming smiles as they hugged and panted, getting their breaths back. 

The judges responses were flagrantly sexual, although Craig's was more visual as he appeared to have been struck dumb, before being chastised by Ben who told him to get his eyes back in his head and his tongue back in his mouth. Shirley, quipped that “Pippa Middleton would never have thought it would be you, Callum, shifting her off her top spot for Rear of the Decade.”

“He’s a contestant, not a piece of meat – you’d never speak to Chantelle or one of the other girls like that!” Ben snapped, now in full protective mode. 

“Ben,” Callum spoke softly to him, “It’s okay. It’s not often I’ve been complimented on my bum, so I’ll take what going, while it’s pert enough to _be_ complimented.” Ben calmed down but it was down to the gentle rubbing of Callum’s massive hand at the base of his spine, rather than his words. 

Callum then turned to the judges, specifically Craig and he wink-blinked at him, saying simply “Different kinda speechless this week Craig? Well, I hope it's worth another 10.” The laugh from him rumbled and Ben was sure he could feel it cause the floor to tremble beneath his feet and flutter in his heart. 

Callum’s hand was again on Ben’s back circling softly when they were up in the gallery talking to Claudia, and Ben felt more grounded and soothed than he had in forever. Callum though, didn’t even seem aware he was still doing it. 

The other dancers were applauding as their voting phone number was being read out and Mick discreetly winged his elbow out to nudged Oti, nodding to Callum's tender gesture, and she in turn nudged Chantelle, who nudged Johannes, who nudged Tina and so on. Johannes looked along the line with a beaming smile and gave a wink. 

Craig 8

Shirley 8

Motsi 9

Bruno 9

Week 4 Total 34

Back in the trousers for the elimination show, Ben made sure to stand in front of Callum on the steps this week, eyeballing the judges and essentially cock-blocking the two in particular who were trying to get an eyeful and imagine a mouthful of his partner. They didn’t have to stand for long though as they sailed through to the next round.

At the aftershow, Craig pulled Johannes aside and queried Ben’s behaviour. “Are you telling me you’ve only just noticed?! Honey, that boy is in so deep for Callum…”

“More than a crush?”

“Mmm-hmm. He’s not even tried to pull in almost a month. Ben is in Ell. Oh. Vee. Eee.”

“And Callum?” Craig sounded almost mournful. 

“He’s pretty far back in the closet so he doesn’t know it yet, but he has it just as bad. C'mon Craig! you saw the Fifty Shades routine. If that was acting, they deserve Oscars.”

“Hmmm.” Craig seemed bereft at this development. 

The fun vibe momentum kept up for Week 5, and Callum was excited they'd been given Jive. He was really beginning to feel the change in his fitness and stamina, so relished the challenge of such a high-octane dance. Ben, being quite taken with Callum's enthusiasm, asked him if he'd like to help with the creative side of things. This was a fairly big step for Ben, who would be the first to admit he was a complete control freak and rarely, if ever, took any contestant ideas on board. Callum was chuffed to bits and decided a K-Pop routine with a Gwen Stefani track would be perfect. He was cheerful and upbeat, as Ben seemed to be relaxed and happy. He hoped he had a part in his good cheer.

The week flew by, and soon Ben was waiting again for Callum to do his needful, before they lined up in position. 

** Week 5 – Jive **

What You Waiting For – Gwen Stefani

<https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2d7cujfiVkGKY39lj4FL?si=-3JtCMKyQwG_zdTCmelKmw>

The costumes this week were preppy, and they had styled their hair like BTS. Ben couldn’t get over how cute (and to be frank, how gay) the flattened look made Callum. 

Ben also couldn’t get over that when he saw Callum fully made up for the live show, it was his tummy that fluttered first before his dick twitched. Whichever part of his body reacted first it was now almost always accompanied with a sharp intake of breath. With every day that passed, Callum became more gorgeous to Ben and he was on the verge of giving in and admitting how far gone he was. Admitting to himself at least. Callum invaded his thoughts constantly and being in such close proximity to him daily, he couldn’t escape it. Even if he could though, he no longer wanted to. Something in Callum seemed to have shifted and it made dancing with him an utter joy. Ben was confident that they were safe for the next few weeks at least, so he was just enjoying being in the moment, and not worrying about the moment being over too soon. 

He couldn’t suppress his smile as he looked at Callum as they got in position, facing one other, just slightly off the opposite’s centre. They had one hand on the other’s face, stroking gently as the intro started, then when the music started, they began touching and moving around each other almost coyly before the main track kicked in and they fully launched into the routine, starting with Callum lifting Ben up, Ben holding his arms above his head and Callum manoeuvring him round like he was the hands of a clock, tick-tocking him a full “24 hours”. They bounced and bounded all around the floor, using all the space it gave them, jumping and running, peppering the routine with knee slides, lift and holds from Callum; who at one point is holding Ben up and over his head, an overhead camera capturing him spinning, again looking like the hands of a clock, rapidly ticking through the day. All the while their feet were working double-time, getting in all the required steps. By the time they were finished, they were both panting like they’d run a marathon, and their faces were glowing with exertion and exhilaration. They held each other up, smiling broadly as the judges gave their opinions, all of which were good, barring a Craig remark about a missed step, but nothing could kill their buzz. 

Once up in the gallery, it didn’t take long for the Judges to announce their scores. 

Craig 7

Shirley 7

Motsi 8

Bruno 8

Week 5 Total 30

They sailed through elimination again the next night and were elated to make it to the halfway point. That it was Halloween was a cherry on top, until they discovered they had the Argentine tango. Callum’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped in fear. 

“That’s the one I’ve dreaded. So many complicated steps and legwork!” Callum said as they walked to their cars, which, incidentally, was now one of Ben's favourite things to do. He reassured Callum that it would be alright and that he had lots of ideas whirling in his brain already. “We’re halfway Highway!" he said. “Go home and watch all the dances in sequence. Remind yourself of what you’ve learned _and_ what your capable of.” Callum’s eyes were full of angst, something Ben hadn’t seen in them for a few weeks, and without thinking he intuitively pulled him into hug. He whispered, “You’ve looked after me these past few weeks, let me look after you this week.” He pulled his head back to look him in the eyes, but he didn’t break the embrace, and neither did Callum. “It’ll be something right special, I promise you.” Ben, wondering if he had taken a brave pill earlier or something similar, then leaned back in and brushed Callum's cheek with his lips. He heard him sharply inhale and was sure he felt him quiver, so pulled away immediately, no longer brave and horrified that he may have overstepped the mark, but then he felt Callum’s hands reaching out touching his arms, still holding onto him. Eyes locked, Ben’s mouth went dry and as slicked his tongue over his lips to wet them, he was sure he saw Callum glance down at them, and as he did so, licked his own.

Callum suddenly jumped out of his skin as his phone went off in his pocket, releasing Ben who stumbled backwards shaking his head as he too was broken from his trance. “It’s, eh it’s Whit” he said to Ben who felt his heart crush. 

Immediately hitting the panic button, Ben leapt in his car. “Oh, okay, well, I’ll leave you to it" he said as he started the engine. “See ya tomorrow!” he called out as he quickly drove away. If walking to the cars was Ben’s favourite time of day, his most hated was immediately afterwards when he had to leave Callum and drive home alone. He half contemplated pulling a deliberate binge, a stunt to see if Callum would search him down again, but then thought better of it. Callum probably already thought he was a loser; he didn’t want to confirm it for him. 

Clearing his throat, Callum answered the call “Alright Whit?” immediately pulling the phone away from his ear as she screamed hysterically down the line, making no sense. 

“Whit, you’re gonna have to calm down! I can’t understand what you’re telling me.” He rolled his eyes as he managed to pick out the word “emergency” from the garble. “Okay, okay. I’m coming over. Give me half an hour.” More shouting and he rolled his eyes. “Okay then, give me 20 minutes. I’m on my way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I appreciate all kudos and comments ❤️❤️


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing is hard, and I'm almost never fully confident in what I write, but I'm a little bit in love with this chapter. The destination of it is where I wanted it to be, but the route is entirely different to what I imagined. It's another one of those where it doesn't feel like I wrote it, more like I just followed the boys around and recorded what happened. 😂 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I did xx

“You’re kidding me, Whit?! You brought me here for this?!” Callum stood in the living room, pacing in a circle. 

“Callum! Bianca's in prison for God's sake. Remember Bianca?! My step-mum?! I can’t believe you don’t care! I’m in bits here!”

Callum rolled his eyes. “She’s not in prison, Whitney. She’s locked up in the cop shop til tomorrow morning, for drunk & disorderly. It ain’t like it’s the first time either and to be honest, you’re lucky they didn't bang you up an' all.”

“You saying I'm drunk?!”

“I’m saying you need to calm down!” He took a deep breath. “What's this about, Whit? Why d'ya really call?”

Whitney was a mess. She _had_ been drinking and from her mascara-streaked face, she’d evidently been doing a lot of crying too. 

“Cos you said you'd call and you didn’t. And I don't understand why not. Cos you left and still I don’t know why. Cos you left, came back, fucked me and then left again and I don't know why and it hurts.”

Callum looked at the floor, feeling shame. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was a mistake, and I am truly sorry.”

“Mistake?! Ha! If it was such a mistake, why did ya?”

Callum had nothing he could say, nothing he could offer that he thought would make it better. 

“Is it ‘im?”

“Who? What?!”

“Who?! You know who! Ben! You can’t keep your eyes off each other! Even the magazines are saying it. “Get yourself someone who looks at you the way hashtag Ballum look at each when they’re dancing”. It’s humiliating!”

Callum raised his voice in frustration. “Oh my god, I can’t keep having this argument with you. I _told_ you! It's …”

“Acting. Yeah, you keep saying that. Did you leave me for ‘im?” 

“What?! Whit, did you take something other than vodka tonight? I left here months before Strictly started.”

“Yeah, but it was after you started dancing wiv him.”

“It's nothing to do with him! I left because… because.. “ he drifted into silence. 

“Why?” 

Callum just stared at the floor. 

“WHY?!”

He still didn’t answer.

“WHY?!” She leaned into his face. “WHY?! WHY, WHY WHY?!?!?!” and she pounded her fists into his chest. 

“COS I COULDN’T BREATHE ANYMORE!“

“What?” she snapped her head back like she’d been burnt and her voice was almost a whisper. 

“I'm sorry Whit.” Callum said softly, and his voice was sincere. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, look, you’re beautiful and sweet and kind and gorgeous and any guy would be lucky to have ya.”

“Just not this guy, eh?” She pointed at him as she started to cry again.

“Where’s this coming from, Whit? Now? I thought maybe, I dunno…”

“That by ghosting me, I’d get the message?”

Callum shrugged sadly. “You deserve someone who's going to love you the way you want to be loved.” His voice was breaking as he spoke, and tears trickled down his face. “An' I’m sorry, truly, _truly_ , sorry, but I can’t give you that. And I can’t tell you why either, cos honestly? I don’t know myself.”

“Bianca reckons you do know, but you’re too scared to admit it.”

Callum huffed out a sarcastic laugh, as he sniffed and wiped his tears. “Bianca?? Ha! Whitney, this merry-go-round is making me feel sick now. I CAN- _NOT_ keep having this same conversation over and over and OVER!” He stood up and stormed out, leaving Whitney, he believed, for the last time. 

Once home, he curled up on the sofa with a beer, replaying the conversation in his head. Yes, he had already known Ben before he left Whitney, but that was nothing to do with why he left! Except maybe because Ben had seemed so confident in himself, so assured and Callum figured maybe some of that had rubbed off. Nothing more to it than that! He growled in frustration, and put the TV on, clicking to YouTube to watch their dances so far, as Ben had suggested. 

He decided to skip the first one as, well, yeah, he’d already watched that back before. And he'd skip Week two’s dance too as, well, yeah, Ben fell that time. He clicked on Week 3 and smiled as the memory of fucking over that bitch and the producer came back. As he watched though, his smile slipped – but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from how he _did_ look at Ben, how Ben looked back at him. Remembrance of how he found Ben that week after his spiral came back to him, how he’d made the decision the morning after to help Ben, having heard him tell his story the night before. 

That night. His breath hitched as he thought maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. Had he suppressed a memory or was he fantasizing?! Ben's sleeping face flashed into his mind. Had he really felt that way looking at his lips. When he had slept in Ben's bed. Had Ben really crawled in beside him? Had he really woken up with Ben in his arms and a semi that stiffened as he greedily gulped in the scent from his hair? A semi that stiffened and was soapily acknowledged and finished off in the shower? 

He lay back on the sofa and closed his eyes. How could he have forgotten those lips. Tinged the subtle colour of a ripe and juicy peach, delicately and deliciously soft and inviting, and as he had leaned in, inhaling the whisky accented breath ghosting over them when Ben had softly exhaled. He licked his lips as he recalled how kissable they had looked, ran his fingertips over as he imagined how it would feel to have Ben’s lips on his, how he would taste, how his bottom lip would feel between his teeth… He wriggled his hips as he lay, soon realising he had done it as his cock was threatening to burst out his jeans. Jesus, his cock was harder thinking about kissing Ben than it ever had been actually sleeping with Whitney. He undid the jeans freeing himself, licking his palm and wrapping it round. Unacknowledged tears rolled softly down his face as he blinked looking again at the TV and pressing play, pumping himself slowly as Beyoncé sang in her dirtiest, sluttiest voice and he watched himself and Ben dance; watched as Ben bound his wrists in the silks, as they played out the story of trying to deny a love that would ultimately have them tied up in knots. 

*****

A troubled night meant Callum slept late on the Monday, and when he arrived at the studio, Ben was already moving around the room, lost in dance. Eyes closed, he glided and spun, dipped and twirled with an invisible partner and Callum was transfixed watching him through the glass. 

“Deaf and blind and he could still out dance Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire”

Callum jumped as Craig spoke behind him. “Don’t tell him I said this, but some pros can only dream of having a talent like his. You're, eh, lucky to have him as a partner.” He paused before saying “But should you ever fancy trying it with someone different, just let me know.” and he slipped a piece of paper into Callum’s hand walking off as silently as he had arrived. 

“Everything alright?” Ben asked as Callum entered the room making his presence known.

“Eh, yeah, yeah. Just Craig, he eh…”

“I, eh, meant with Whitney.” Ben hadn’t originally planned to ask, but his itchy nose got the better of him and patience was not one of his strong suits. 

“Yeah, it was nothing really. Her mum was arrested, drunk. Nothing that ain’t happened before. She was drunk and hysterical, we argued, I left.” He shrugged and deflected back to his original story, telling Ben about Craig slipping him his phone number. 

“Did he?!” Ben said sharply, his voice a little louder than he intended. “Well, I’ll sort him out, just say the word.” 

“Ben, the bloke gave me his phone number, he didn’t threaten to glitter bomb my grandad. What are you, some sort of dancing gangster?!” He laughed at his own humour before remembering that Ben had mentioned his dad was a bit dodgy. “Wait, no! I didn’t mean…” Ben merely chuckled as Callum blushed. 

Ben told Callum about his ideas for Halloween dance. Callum was initially relieved to learn most of the difficult legwork would be done by Ben, but could only muster a weak smile as the story was outlined to him. 

“You okay with it? It don’t make you uncomfortable?” Ben asked the question with sincerity. 

“Nah, not at all.” Callum lied. It made him _really_ uncomfortable, but despite his troubled mind, he couldn’t not be committed to help Ben.

“Even though most of the fancy footwork falls to me, you do still have a lot to master. Not gonna lie, Callum. Argentine tango is _hard._ We’ll need every spare moment for rehearsal.”

He confirmed to Ben that wouldn’t be a problem. He now had extended time off from the soap – having already filmed his character leaving to go off on honeymoon, which was a four-month world cruise, paid for with the winnings of a lottery ticket that he and his new ‘wife’ had been given as a wedding gift. Ben offered a silent prayer of thanks to the soap writing gods as he delighted in the fact it meant there would be nothing else now to distract Callum. Well, almost nothing else. He just needed to pray to the phone gods to get poxy Whitney’s number blocked. 

Light heartedly he joked “Wow! So, you’ll be playing away with the dance pro while on your holidays eh? Well, I promise nobody will be putting Callum in the corner.”

“Really?! You actually went there?” Callum was laughing. “I can assure you, Johnny Castle, I ain't doing _that_ dance. _That's_ where I draw the line.”

“You’re the contestant, you don't get to draw lines!” Ben gave Callum a playful shove. 

“ _Craig_ wouldn't make me do anything so uninspired.” Callum held out the scrap paper, teasing with a raised eyebrow.

“Uninspi-“ Ben feigned insult as he tried to snatch the paper from Callum’s hands but the taller man was too fast and raised his hand above his head where Ben had no chance of reaching. Not fairly anyway.

“Is this why you’re called _High_ way.” he said as he continued to leap up again and again trying to grab. Callum belly laughed, easily switching the scrap from one hand to the other as Ben jumped.

Ben's eyes darkened as his voice deepened and he growled “You should know “Baby”, that I don't just dance dirty, I fight that way too.” And he launched a twin assault, tickling with his hands while wrapping his leg round his Callum's, collapsing his knee and bringing him down to the floor with a heavy thud.

Callum landed on his back, Ben falling on top of him with a loud “ooof”. They both giggled as their game carried on, panting as Ben continued to tickle, but using the horizontal advantage to clamber “up” Callum until he could finally reach and grab the hand that held the paper. “Gotcha!" He cried triumphantly.

They both panted still, eyes locking, before their breathing slowed and deepened as they simultaneously became aware of the physical stirrings within each other. Ben lifted his other hand and tenderly swept back loose strands of Callum’s hair that had fallen over his face. Callum didn’t move - only blinking, his long lashes sweeping downwards slowly, lifting up to reveal almost no colour at all, just the tiniest hint of ocean blue, circled around dark pupils like the corona of a solar eclipse, before his tongue slipped out briefly and licked his lips. Mesmerised, Ben couldn’t stop himself. He lowered his head, gently pressing his lips to Callum’s and stars exploded behind his eyes as they met. He felt Callum’s cock twitch in response and he rubbed himself against him, desperate for friction and to feel more of Callum as he did so. He wanted to open his eyes, drink in this moment and search those eyes to seek permission for more, but he was scared that if he did he would wake up and find it to be a dream, like the night he was drunk and thought Callum was in his bed.

Eyes tightly shut, he leaned back, parting the kiss to take a breath, and he then felt Callum’s hand on the back of his head pulling him down for more, arm sliding across his back, securing him tightly in place. This time it was Callum pressing their lips together with more pressure than before, and then he sucked Ben’s bottom lip into his mouth, releasing a soft moan as he gently bit down. Ben thought he might fall apart, but Callum then released the bite, sucking the lip back into his mouth before he let it go, gently kissing it better. As their lips met a third time, Ben slid his tongue out slowly, gently nudging Callum’s lips apart and they fell open at first push, granting permission for Ben to probe a little further and a little deeper. Callum moved his tongue to meet Ben’s, and they explored their mouths tenderly, tongues like new dancers, eager but apprehensive, touching but nervous to miss a step. Ben pushed, deepening the kiss, rubbing against Callum again as he did so, and he thought he might cum instantly, not only because he felt Callum push up into him, but at the noise it elicited from beneath him. He felt the hand on his head tighten its grip and pull him in further as Callum moaned into his mouth. The moan vibrated to Ben’s cock instantly and he involuntarily thrust himself hard, his body pushing for more, more friction, more noises, more Callum. 

The next thing he knew though, the spell was broken, and he was being pushed, up and over as Callum scrabbled away from him, wobbling as he tried to stand up and run away at the same time. “Callum!” he called out after him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”, but the apologies just hung in the air, in a room now empty of everything but one dancer. Ben was devastated as he thought how he had managed to fuck things up, good and proper. I can always be trusted to fuck up a good thing before it even _is_ a good thing he thought, as he let his head drop and thud on the floor. 

Shit. Callum didn’t know where he was running to, but he couldn’t stop. He had to push on, every step taking him further away from what just happened. He pounded at the street, lost in his head before he came to a park and collapsed on a bench. His mind whirring, trying to work out exactly just what _did_ happen. How he was just teasing Ben one minute and then pulling him in for a kiss the next. How he, as a straight and definitely not gay man, saw fire in another’s man eyes, how his mind saw the vibrant blue of those eyes turn dark, how he imagined he saw hot lust, a want that was irresistible, and how he pulled that want in, desperate to know how it tasted. How he as a straight and definitely not gay man had felt when he finally had that taste on his tongue, the fireworks that went off inside, how that taste had made him hard, made him push up into to Ben, made him want to explore the man he had in his grip on top of him. 

What had he done?! Locking Ben in his arms, trapping him, leaving him no option but to kiss him back, most likely out of surprise or politeness or even pity. Pity at this loser straight guy, so lonely and fucked up he crumbles at the first hint of intimacy from anyone, seeking out comfort from any warm mouth and taut body; his own mouth, wanton and easily falling open, begging to be invaded and plundered. He growled in frustration. He wanted to support Ben, not insult and embarrass him. After all he had been through, Callum just wanted Ben to know that he was worth standing up for. Now he probably thinks he’s just some sort of floundering straight boy loser, overcome with curiosity, pawing at him like some dirty dog with a fresh bone. 

He had to fix it. Make it right. He needs to run back and apologise. He needs to learn the steps, learn the dance and tell the story. He stood up and began running.

Shit. Ben rubbed his fingertips over his lips as he lay in the same spot where he fell when Callum had run off moments before. His mind was whirring, trying to work out what exactly what just happened. How he was just teasing Callum one minute and then kissing him the next. How he convinced himself he saw fire in Callum’s eyes, how his mind saw the bright blue of those eyes turn dark, how he was sure he saw hot lust, a want that was irresistible, and how he let that want pull him in, how desperate he was to know how Callum would taste. How he felt when he finally had the taste of him on his tongue, how the stars exploded inside him, how the taste had made him hard, made him grind down into to Callum, made him want to explore the man who had his body so firmly in his grip. He blinked and ran a hand down his body, stopping at his dick, that was still semi-hard. He hadn’t been mistaken; Callum _had_ pulled him. He had pulled him in and kissed him back, pushing his cock up to him, making those delicious moans that nearly tipped Ben over the edge. 

And suddenly it all made sense.

He should’ve trusted his gut instinct. His gaydar was never wrong. He should have resisted kissing him though as he’s probably sent him scurrying to the back of the closet now. He remembered the fear he’d had himself. Knowing he was “different” and being terrified of discovery. He knew this had to come from Callum and only when he was ready, which he obviously wasn’t. 

It felt good though, probably being his first real kiss. Maybe being the first man to make him utter those sweet, sweet noises. Ben’s dick wasn’t semi-hard any longer. He got up and went to the tiny loo that was tucked in the corner of the room, snatching a little sachet of something from his jacket pocket as he went. 

He pulled his dance joggers down and allowed his now rock-hard dick to spring free, not touching himself yet as he warmed the little sachet of lube between his hands. He ripped it open with his teeth, and pushed the liquid out from a slight height, his body shivering as each drop landed on his cock, slowly dripping down. Breathing heavily, he pumped himself, pressing his free hand on his thigh, trying to remember how Callum’s cock felt when he’d rubbed himself there. He closed his eyes, recalling how freely Callum’s mouth had opened for him, tongues dancing, the way Callum had moaned into his mouth as he’d bitten his lip. Oh, sweet Jesus, this wasn’t going to take long. He pictured Callum, imagining those beautiful eyes looking at him, mouth partly open with lips moistened asking if he could suck Ben, _please_. He thought of how it would feel to be in that mouth, how it would be hot and willing, drawing in his length, how Callum would gulp before deep throating him, softly gagging as Ben’s dick hit the back of his throat and oh, oh! OH!...

Out of breath and panting, Callum burst back into the studio, and called out. “Ben?” He saw that his jacket was still there and called out again a little louder this time. “BEN?!” 

“CALLUM!” The name tumbled from Ben’s lips as he came, warm white spurts coating his hand. Imagining the sound of his own name on Callum’s lips sounding sweeter than ever. 

Eyes shut, he leaned sideways on the wall of the little cubicle, his breath shaky; his panting erratic. Jesus! he said aloud as he huffed out a little laugh. 

“Ben, are you here?” Callum’s voice seemed louder. 

Rapping on the door alerted him that Callum’s voice wasn’t in his head. Shit! He instinctively shot a foot out, pressing against the door in case Callum felt the need to give it a shove. He wanted Callum to see him undone, sure, but not like this. Not just after a wank in a grubby toilet, with cum shots now cold and crusting all over his hand. Why did the sink have to be outside the cubicle?! 

“Eh, yeah, look, give me a minute, yeah? Go and grab us a coffee from the canteen?” The pitch of his voice was higher than he would've liked. 

“Okay" was the quiet reply he heard, followed by the soft squeak of Callum’s trainers as he walked away. 

Ben exhaled, long and loudly and then he stood up, putting a hand out to steady himself as his body slowly caught up with his brain. 

It wasn’t long before Callum walked back in, holding two coffees and two paper bags scrunched at the top, the plastic fronts revealing that each contained an iced doughnut.

Ben spoke first, mumbling a generic “Y’alright?”

Callum answered as he handed a coffee and a bag over, saying “Yeah. You?” He was blushing and it took all of Ben’s strength not to smile adoringly while he nodded. 

Callum continued saying “Yeah, look, about what happened…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Weren’t your fault Ben. Was mine. I…, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve let it happen.”

“It weren’t your…”

“Look Ben, it happened, it was a mistake and I’d be really grateful if we could just move on and pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Do that a lot, do ya?”

“What?”

“Pretend.”

“Ben. I want to do this competition, and this dance, I understand its importance to you, but it’s not relevant to me and I’d ask you please… don’t… don’t make it…”

“Hard?”

“Awkward”

Both spoke the words at the same time.

Ben breathed out a chuckle, said a soft okay and thanked Callum for the doughnut. And just like that, they both pretended that they hadn't been lying on the floor snogging each other’s faces off little more than an hour since.

**********

Drinks had been arranged for the Thursday night of that week, as it was Chantelle’s birthday. They were heading to the same pub as they'd gone to before for Shakil's birthday, and although their number now had fewer contestants, the atmosphere was still cheerful and boisterous. 

Part way through the night, Craig showed up, impeccably dressed in a gorgeous midnight blue Tom Ford suit worn with a crisp white shirt. He accepted compliments gracefully and he confirmed to all he was 99% sure he would meet someone special tonight, so it deserved extra effort. After some light ribbing, he confessed that The Eagle were launching a new theme night, Bears v Twinks, so there was sure to be someone in the melee for little old him. He winked at Ben who rose and put his jacket on, heading off to join him. 

‘Anyone else wanna come?” Ben sassed at crowd, but focussing his eyes on Callum and giving him a saucy wink. Callum blushed and grabbed his glass to try and hide behind a gulp of lager. It almost worked for him, until he saw someone enter the bar and it caused him to choke, spraying lager everywhere. Oti scurried over to pat his back. 

“Sam!!” Ben beamed at the new arrival and he then sing-songed “Weet weel!!” as he eyed him up and down.

Sam laughed at Ben putting words to a wolf whistle, and leant in to air kiss him. Ben spoke again telling him “Perfect timing! We’re just leaving now. Sooo glad you could make it!” 

Arms linked, they turned and waved to the group and then left, Ben calling out “Don’t wait up!” as they went through the door. 

Callum left as soon as he could after that, utterly dejected and the attendant members of the little Ballum fan club all eyed each other with looks of resignation. 

Callum had stopped on his way home and bought a bottle of whisky as Ben wasn’t the only one who could indulge in pity parties, he thought with a scoff. He had also hoped the drink might prove to be an anaesthetic, but although he’d was a few inches down the bottle now, instead of feeling sleepy, he felt buzzed and restless. 

He picked up his phone and tapped out a message.

_Can you txt me when you’re home? I need to talk?_

*ping* The reply was immediate.

_Home now. You want me to call u?_

Callum sighed and thought for a moment.

_Can I come over?_

*ping*

_Of course!_

A couple more messages were pinged back and forth, and soon Callum was grabbing the whisky bottle, stuffing it in his inside pocket as he heard the toot of his taxi. 

A while later he was standing outside the door, trembling. He didn’t know if this was a good idea or not, but he was so sick and tired of inaction. Sick and tired of not being able to relax without his mind going at a million miles an hour, sick and tired of torturing himself with his thinking. He sighed, supposing it was now or never, and rang the doorbell. 

When the door opened, he shocked himself by immediately bursting into tears. Arms reached out to pull him in, to comfort him, one hand soothingly rubbing his back as he snot cried into a shoulder. 

“It’ll be alright, Callum. I promise you, son. It’ll all be alright."

Mick gave him a little peck on the side of his head. “C'mon, we can talk in the study. We’ll get peace there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for all kudos and comments received so far, but I'm needy, greedy and selfish so anymore you wish to throw this way will always gratefully received! ❤️


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cheeky midweek chapter was requested and I am far enough ahead I can do it for this week. xx 
> 
> There was also a separate request for some specific smutty content, which I hope has been met. You know who you are and I hope you enjoy. 😘 I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> See you at the weekend! ❤️

Despite only getting a couple of hours sleep, Ben woke up early and stumbled to the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee, but he already had a spring in his step. His plan for last night had been a success and he was feeling cheery and upbeat. He jumped in the shower and the blood started pumping, as did the hand and he blissfully cracked one off, his mind’s eye picturing a willing mouth, hollowed cheeks and those big blue doe eyes blinking up at him. The images he conjured ensured it wasn’t long before he was wrecked, uttering his name like a curse as he came, spurts of hot cum splattering the tiles. 

Despite the release, he couldn’t get him out his mind as he pottered and tidied about his flat, but it made him smile. He would happily let him live in his mind rent free. He didn’t want to have to wait to see him and decided he would take him breakfast. He jumped in the car and headed over to his flat, parking just round the corner from the little bakery that was nearby. He popped in and purchased two take away coffees and four bacon rolls. Being happy made Ben hungry, but the same could be said of him just being awake, if he was honest. 

The morning was cold and dark, but it was dry and crisp and he whistled as walked the short distance to the flat, skipping up the stairs two at a time. He rapped playfully on the door, giving him a couple of minutes to answer. Give him time to wake up and lumber to open the door – it _was_ early. 

***

Callum had ended up staying over at Mick's house as they had sat up until the wee small hours talking, Callum lubricating his dry throat with more and more of the whisky. He woke up with a pounding sore head, fuzzy mouth and sore, swollen eyes. He wanted nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep, but Mick’s house was chaos and his kids thumped about getting ready for school as if they were wearing concrete shoes. Ironically, it seemed finding _actual_ shoes was the main problem of the morning if the shouts up and down stairs were anything to go by. He got up and decided he could get the additional sleep he craved at his own house, which he knew would be a sanctuary of silence. 

Mick offered him breakfast, which he wasn’t quite ready for, so he politely declined. Mick also offered to drive him home too, while he did the school run, but this was also declined. Callum couldn’t face any more unnecessary time around the noise machines that were his kids. “I’ve put you out enough, Mick. I’ll just get a taxi. Traffic will be murder by school run time anyway.” Mick nodded saying “If you’re sure?” but Callum had already pulled up the app on his phone, barely coping with the volume around him. 

When the cab arrived, Mick walked him to door, pulling him in for a super tight hug and Callum melted in. Until now he hadn’t understood the importance of the “proud dad hugs” Mick had spoken of before and now in its full embrace, he had to swallow hard to get rid of the lump forming in his throat, and blink hard as well to keep back the tears that were forming. He was surprised that his body could actually produce more tears to shed though, as he had spilled so many last night. As Mick’s hand gently patted his back, Callum also realised his annoyance with Mick’s kids wasn’t all due to the noise at which they operated. There was a little envy, that they had hugs like this on tap. Mick might have a hard man reputation, but he was much, much more than just standing around looking threatening while holding a toy sawn-off. He had a heart the size of London and Callum offered a silent prayer of thanks to whatever god or higher power it was that brought him to this surrogate dad last night. 

Praying that his voice wouldn’t betray his fragility, Callum whispered “Thank you Mick. For everything.” 

“Anytime kid. Anytime. Remember what I said, yeah?” and he pinched Callum’s cheek gently. “He’s a goner, gone, and you’ll be okay. Okay?” Callum nodded, but his puppy eyes gave away his uncertainty.

He climbed in the cab and gave the name of his local high street as the destination. He still didn’t have an appetite, but his stomach was threatening revolution if it didn’t get sustenance soon, so he thought it best to stop and pick up some breakfast at the little bakery within walking distance of his flat. 

On the other side of town, Ben was getting annoyed. He'd been at this door for 15 minutes now. Where the hell _was_ he?! His playful rapping at the door had been replaced by pounding thumps and as he peered through the letterbox shouting his name, he finally accepted he just wasn’t home. Good mood ruined, he placed a coffee and two of rolls on the doorstep and walked away, before his stomach sent him back to retrieve one of the rolls. Anyone who didn’t have the courtesy to be home when he called round didn’t deserve a full feed anyway.

Ben recognised the car parked in its allotted spot, and he nearly went back to try the door one more time, but instead he wandered over to it, placing his hand on the bonnet to feel for any warmth but it was stone cold. He bent down to peer in and some movement in the distance caught his eye. There he was - staggering home looking like hobo, clutching coffee and a paper bag, the contents of which were steaming into the cold morning air. His jacket was hanging off and his hair was all over the place, the normally impeccable quiff now half sticking up and half flattened, looking like dark straw bursting out a canvas sack. His face was flushed red as well and Ben wondered just where the _fuck_ Callum had been that he would be arriving home at this hour, and also _what_ the fuck he’d been doing to end up in such a dishevelled state. 

Callum didn’t notice the little breakfast gifts that had been left on his doorstep, and once inside he leant back heavily against the door and sighed deeply.

He looked around noting that nothing had changed in the few hours he was gone, yet at the same time, everything had changed. He felt better, lighter, and was glad he had gone to see Mick, but he was physically and emotionally drained and just couldn’t face going to the studio this morning. He wasn’t ready to see Ben either. Not yet. His mood wasn’t helped by the fact he could still feel whisky coursing thickly through his veins.

He sent a quick text to Ben that ‘something' had come up and so he wouldn’t be there before noon, setting an alarm for four hours’ time, before collapsing into bed, pulling the duvet over his head. 

Ben had just reached his car when Callum’s text came through. He growled and fired his phone in temper across the car interior, watching it bounce off the passenger door before it landed in the footwell. 

********

Both men had made it to the studio by lunchtime, grabbing their Halloween costumes and getting made-up for their full-dress rehearsal. Ben's earlier foul temper had dissipated but his mood was seriously low. He was subdued, but Callum was so wrapped up in his own mind and issues and also still so tired, he failed to notice. 

Ben frowned when they’d finished the run through. “It didn’t feel right. It feels like it’s missing something, or… I dunno. What d'you think?”

There was no reply. 

“Callum?”

Callum’s mind had drifted off and he shook himself back to reality. “Erm, no. Felt good to me. If you feel it’s off though, it’s probably my fault. Had a late one last night. Sorry.” He gave a weak smile.

“More Whitney drama?” Ben asked through clenched teeth. 

“What? Oh god no. I'm well and truly done with all that.”

“Where did ya end up then?”

“Huh?”

“Your “late one". Johannes said you left the pub not long after we did?” Ben tried to hide the eager interest he had in Callum’s whereabouts last night, but there was a hint of interrogation in his tone. 

“Oh, erm, nowhere interesting. What about you?”

“What about me?!”

Callum was blushing underneath his make-up and prayed Ben couldn’t see. 

“Did you have a late one? With erm, Craig and, eh, your friend?” Callum too was trying to hide interest in Ben's whereabouts last night. 

“My friend?” and Ben wryly chuckled. “Why do you care?”

“Huh?!” was Callum’s confused response.

“We did have a late one as it happens. And I had a very early one too.” He stared directly at Callum as he spoke. “I even did the breakfast run.” He waited for a reaction, but as nothing was forthcoming, he just sighed. “D’ye know what? You’re right. The dance. We’re probably both just tired. It’ll be alright on the night, eh?” 

Later, they got to the men’s shower room and Callum felt more awkward than ever. Because they hadn’t started until lunchtime they had finished late so the place was deserted. He would have avoided it altogether and showered at home, but he was fake tanned with full face make-up too, so he was just going to have to suck it up. Ben was already showering in one of the cubicles, so he took his time stripping to his boxers and wrapping a towel around.

He rummaged in his kit bag and then cursed loudly. 

“What’s got you effing and blinding so badly? You never swear.” 

Ben’s voice behind him startled him and he quickly turned round, nearly losing his towel in the process. 

“Don’t creep up on me like that!” he cried out, blushing and clutching at his towel.

“Ain’t ever known anyone to blush like you.” Ben grinned as he spoke while also appraising Callum’s body with dark eyes, which of course just made poor Callum blush even more. “It’s cute.”

Callum pleaded softly, “Please Ben, don’t”

“Fine. You haven’t answered my question. What’s got your briefs in a twist?”

“Forgot my shower bag.” He said forlornly.

“I wonder what got Mr Organised so flustered he forgot to bring his washbag.” He said, now goading him. He paused before continuing with his voice in a low growl. “Or should that maybe be “who"?”

“Ben, just shut up!” Callum shouted. He had begun to sweat now too, and he tried to huff his way past him and escape to the showers. He was stopped by Ben reaching out and placing his hand on his bare chest. 

Ben felt sparks on the tips of his fingers but Callum jumped back like he’d been struck by lightning, crying out loudly “What you doing?!?!”

A flash of hurt crossed over Ben’s eyes. “Calm down straight boy. I was only gonna offer you my shower gel. Maybe I won’t bother and just let you try and scrub all that shit off with only water.” 

Callum closed his eyes in frustration as Ben handed the bodywash over, brushing Callum's fingers as he did. 

Callum shivered, shakily exhaling and closed his eyes again. Ben thought he'd maybe overstepped because Callum honestly looked like he was about to cry, and while Ben was pissed off at him, he didn’t want that. He took a step towards him.

Callum didn’t cry though. He opened his eyes as Ben moved, blinked and met his stare straight on. His voice was barely a whisper, but it was determined. “Ben. Don’t.”

Another flash of hurt crossed Ben’s face but he dropped his hand and moved aside. Callum walked into shower fighting every urge not to look back. Once he was standing under the cool cascading water, he let the tears he'd been holding back fall. By the time he’d finished washing and stepped out, he had whole place to himself. He sat learning forwards, putting his head in hands and wept again.

Callum slipped his key in the door using his foot to push it open and felt icy liquid drench his shoe. Looking down he saw that he'd kicked a takeaway coffee that had been sitting on his doorstep. And what else was this? Who would leave him coffee and a bacon roll?! He huffed as he picked them up, recognising the wrapping from his little bakers. He hopped into the kitchen, kicking off his soggy shoe, pouring the rest of the coffee down the sink and then throwing it all in the bin. 

He had a quick sandwich for dinner and then went to bed early. He lay on his back and wondered why his mind was still running at 100 miles an hour. He’d been sure that pouring his heart out to Mick would have cleared his head, but the lightness he’d felt this morning had gone now and he felt more confused and conflicted than ever. He rolled over, face resting on his arm and immediately smelt Ben, the shower gel having covered his skin in his scent. 

He inhaled deeply and thought about their interaction in the shower room. He'd felt fireworks when Ben had touched his chest, and the heat he had seen in Ben’s eyes had thrown him into utter panic as they both stood naked but for the towels. He moaned as he slid his other hand down to his cock that had begun to strain for attention. He palmed himself lightly at first, then wrapped his fingers round as he remembered just how fucking hot Ben had looked when he'd stepped out the shower. His hair mussed up by a quick towel dry but his body still dripping wet and glistening and Callum had wanted nothing more than to lick him dry. 

He’d been frozen to the spot though, terrified that Ben would see his heart thumping out his chest, his dick growing under the towel and see the fire of desire burning in his eyes. Afraid that he could read his mind. 

He felt himself get harder as he kitten licked his arm trying to imagine what Ben would have tasted like if he _had_ licked him. And he knew he would have done more than lick. He would have licked, and nibbled, kissed and bitten Ben all over, working his way slowly down to his dick. He groaned in his own grip as he imagined what Ben’s dick would look like, what it would feel like in his hand and he then slipped a finger in his mouth and sucked hard, wondering how big Ben was and how it would feel to have him in his mouth. His pumping increased as he thought of pushing his tongue into Ben’s slit, wondering how salty he’d taste. He pictured Ben pulling him up to kiss him before he would kneel and Callum would look down and see his lips plump and puckered around the top of his dick, sucking hard on the tip, teasing before swallowing him whole. His heart pounded as he fantasised that Ben would just know exactly how to pleasure him. How he would know Callum loves to feel a bit of pressure on his slit, and so he'd push his tongue in, while taking his balls in his hand and massaging gently. He'd pull his mouth off him with a dirty “pop” and then drool on him, before the hot, wet mouth would draw him in again and he'd look up, wanting to see what this was doing to Callum. He would suck and suck, always looking up and the vibrant blue of his eyes would be darkened with flashes of want as Callum fucked his mouth, fucked deep, pushing to feel Ben’s throat butt against his tip, hearing and feeling Ben gag, hearing dirty slurping noises as he worked his mouth faster, hearing him moan as he touched himself, because he’d be so fucking hard because he was _fucking_ _sucking_ _Callum_. Curses began to tumble from Callum’s lips and instructions to Ben in his mind were cried aloud, a finale of “Oh,fuckyesjustlikethatdon’t _fucking_ stopdoingthat” as Ben would surprise him and slide a finger into his hole and FUUUUUCK!!! Callum tipped himself over the edge, calling out Ben's name among a litany of other choice words and curses. 

He was breathless as he cleaned himself up before he curled up, nuzzling into his arm so he could smell him again. Warm tears began to trickle as he sobbed softly, crying himself to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments gratefully sought and received always! xx


	21. Chapter 21 - Week 6 - Halloween Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween week ! Are there ghoulish surprises in store?! 😂 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I can't lie, I've edited and read this over so many times there's every chance I've missed a spelling mistake or similar... please forgive me if I have! 🥰

The night arrived and Ben and Callum were making last minute preparations and costume adjustments while waiting their turn, as make-up artists were dabbing setting powder on their faces. Johannes & Chantelle were currently with Claudia waiting on their judges scores, which most likely would be a clean sweep. They'd just tangoed to Billy Eilish's “Bad Guy", and the two tall and slender bodies had the audience transfixed with their moody moves. 

Callum hadn’t indulged his throwing up ritual yet, but he was feeling extra nauseous, extra awkward and extra nervous, hopping from one foot to the other and he had no idea how he was going to get through this dance. He was peeping out from behind the curtain to see what was going on and as he scanned the audience his eyes alighted on a familiar face and it made his stomach lurch more than it was already, and the hopping abruptly stopped.

He swallowed his panic, although he was desperate now to upchuck and he turned quickly to go to the toilets. As he moved, he shakily said to Ben, “Erm, your, eh friend is here by the way, if you wanna wave?” 

“I don’t have any friends, Callum" was the dry reply.

“Yeah, you do. That guy - Sam, is it?” He knew it was Sam.

Ben peered out and saw that Sam was indeed here, and he laughed. 

“That is Sam, yeah. But he ain’t here for me.”

Callum looked puzzled. 

“Craig must’ve invited him. And I should hope so too, the bloody effort I made the other night to get them together.”

“What?”

“You really think I’m gonna spend the rest of this competition having Craig sniffing round you like a dog on heat? I ain’t having that Callum. No way. Sam wants a bit of celebrity in his life and Craig, well likes a bit of life in his…ahem…” Ben coughed before continuing “…well,… you know what I’m saying. Anyway, two birds; one stone. They’ll end up with their own reality show. It’s a match made in ITV2 heaven.” 

He looked at Callum from under his lashes, giving him a flash of a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes while poor Callum just stood there bewildered. 

A stagehand waved over catching Ben's attention. “Showtime Cal.” Ben said. “You need to get up on that swing right now. Chop chop!”

“But…!!”

“Spit spot, lamb chop!”

“La-…?” Stunned, Callum tried to snap himself into action and climbed up on the prop before being raised above the auditorium.

** Argentine Tango **

Chandelier – Sia 

<https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g2d7cujfiVkGKY39lj4FL?si=L2eU_JrdR8e3bN-YMkCtTQ>

The floor was made up as a graveyard with dry ice wafting as the music began. Not yet seen, Ben's face was lightly made up in the style of Mexican Day of the Dead, and his costume was black polo neck and trousers with silver sequins “bones" sewn in all over so he looked like a glittery skeleton as he slowly crept out of an upright coffin. There were darkened mirrors placed throughout too and he darted between them and the “graves”, shy and looking around in trepidation before “realising" he was alone. When he did, he became more confident, checking himself out in one of the mirrors becoming transfixed, watching himself tango step to the “1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3," of the song. As the chorus came to its crescendo and Sia sang the words Callum, dressed identical to Ben, swung in on an elaborate chandelier dangling from a hand loop so he was twirling 360 degrees, sequins shimmering in the spotlight. The chandelier lowered to drop him safely down and he and Ben danced around each other initially timid, eyes locked, hands at each other’s faces, not touching at first, then gently stroking cheeks and brushing hands before they embraced, and then tangoed across the floor away from the props that were quickly wheeled away. 

They held each tightly, faces touching for most of the dance. Ben was staring up in rapture at this beautiful and statuesque skeleton that had descended from on high, leading him around the floor, showing him the way. Occasionally he would “blink”, like he checked himself and a look of fear would overcome him and he'd try to flee, but Callum would stop him, pull him back and each time he would comfort him, pulling him in and their faces would touch, sometimes foreheads, sometimes cheek to cheek, sometimes just noses when Callum would Eskimo kiss Ben. The audience would see Ben's body relax and his moves becoming more confident until he was the one leading the dance, now only pretending to pull away because he knew his partner would pull him back in, as Callum’s skeleton was now the one enraptured, in love with the lost soul he had come down to rescue.

The two sparkly skeletons were hypnotic as they floated around, but it was with the leg work that the full effect of the costumes proved stunning. Ben's moves were like fireworks, light flashes of brilliance. Callum did well to keep pace but Ben was the true star of this dance and the fact that he talked Callum through his steps as he danced his own was genuinely impressive. Ben was unaware that Callum would probably be still standing like a statue where he was dropped and that he was only moving because of Ben's gentle and encouraging whispers, and that his moves and expressions were as though he were in a dream; muscle memory rather than conscious thought prompting his limbs.

He felt breathless in the intimacy of the dance and was lost in Ben for its entirety and except for when their faces were touching, he couldn’t keep his eyes off him whether it was part of the routine or not.

The end of the dance approached, and Ben’s silky moves propelled their sparkling bones across the dancefloor where the chandelier was waiting. There was a hidden plinth and Callum stepped on, reaching his arm above his head and anchoring them as a couple, and Ben clung on to him, their legs tangled and foreheads pressed together and they were raised, gliding diagonally up and out of sight. 

As they glided, Callum wondered if he had ever stepped off the chandelier and had really danced, his mind was so consumed with Ben. He supposed he must have, as Ben hadn’t been clinging to him before, but he could not remember being on the floor. Wait, no he _must’ve_ danced, or at least he was sure he remembered Ben whispering the steps, his breath tickling his face or ear, depending on which part of their heads were touching. 

But he was in a tailspin, mind whirring with confusion, and had been since Ben had said about Sam and Craig. He was trying to marry it with what Mick had said about Ben. Or what Callum thought Mick might have said about Ben. He had convinced himself Sam had turned up that night in the pub for Ben, recalling the way they had flirted and how sick that had made him feel. He hadn’t thought for a minute Ben had been serious about keeping Craig away from him and he couldn't believe he'd hooked him up with Sam to do just that. What could Ben possibly think that Craig was a threat to? To the point where he did something about it?

“He’s a goner, Callum. Totally gone for ya. You and ‘im are the only ones who can’t see it.” That was what Mick had said to him the other night. But Callum now didn’t trust that Mick’s words were real. He didn’t trust his memory that the words had truly been said, and even if they had been spoken, he was scared to believe that they were true.

But what if they were? Maybe it hadn’t been politeness or pity that had kissed him back the other day. What if the man whose body was clinging to him now _did_ want him? He recalled the “breakfast run" remark Ben had made and thought about the coffee and roll left on his doorstep. Could that have been Ben? He wished it true but felt ridiculous entertaining the thought at the same time. 

He was so confused by this man clinging to him, his scent a flavour; a taste in Callum’s mouth as he panted and gulped in air following his exertions. This man who was holding him so tightly as they were being hoisted aloft, gripping him like they were in some desperate embrace. This man, who when Callum had kissed him, had set his body alight. A fire that was still smouldering all these days later. This man who was right here. Here in his arms. With those lips. This man. Ben. His name repeated in his head. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

Foreheads still grazing, Callum nudged Ben gently, nuzzling down to capture his mouth in a kiss.

It was soft, feather light, but Callum felt the fireworks going off inside him nonetheless; fireworks that made him feel like he’d never kissed anyone other than Ben ever before. Soft lips that seemed wired straight to his heart, the rate of which was speeding up instead of recovering after the dance. A scrape of stubble that seemed to be wired straight to his dick as it twitched and stretched into life. Callum needed more, this gentle press not enough. He opened his lips, pushing Ben to part his, to get Ben to open his mouth and allow Callum’s tongue to enter and dance with his. To let him explore and taste and plunder. Ben’s mouth responded, instantly falling open and his tongue slipped out to meet Callum’s, Callum who immediately fell apart as they grazed and he lost all breath as the kiss became more and more heated, the tongue dance more frantic. If he didn't break away, he was sure he'd suffocate, but he didn't care, he was so wrapped up in this incredible kiss that if he died doing this then so be it. The sensation of this, of kissing _this_ man, was too much to give up for something as trivial as oxygen.

The chandelier swing had halted, but the two men remained with their lips locked and it was only the thudding feet of the stagehands running along the scaffold, that roused Callum and he quickly broke away. Ben’s head leaned forward, reluctant to part, his expression blissed out and puckered lips that slowly morphed into a pout at this cruel and heartless abandonment. Ben then looked shocked as hands grabbed him, pulling him to safety, and he stood completely bewildered, watching as Callum too was hauled in. They had to move quickly to the steps to downstairs, but before they descended, Ben put out his hand to stop Callum, looking at him oddly, searching for something, scrutinizing his face. Callum gulped, the confidence or whatever it was that overtook him on the swing, now gone and whatever strength he had left being taken up just holding Ben's gaze. Ben took his hand and stepped towards him focussing on his lips and leaning in, darting his gaze back to Callum’s eyes, asking permission to continue. 

The movement of a stagehand securing the chandelier caught Callum's eye and so he was the one to blink first, taking a step backwards and dropping Ben's hand. 

Ben’s voice was high pitched as he cried “Cal?!”

Callum’s world collapsed as he processed the last few minutes. Feelings of embarrassment and shame flooded his body, extinguishing any flames that dared still to be there.

Ben shook his head and coughed slightly before he spoke again, but his voice still pitched high. “What you playing at, Callum?!” 

He huffed as Callum remained silent. “Oh, fuck this, we need to move. Am I smudged?” and he pointed to the make-up on his face.

Callum glimpsed over and shook his head. Ben nodded and then ran down the steps to Tess and the judges. Callum moved his feet to catch him up, but he had to hold on tight to the banisters as he moved. He felt woozy, as though he was concussed. 

The two men stood, awaiting the judges’ comments, but there were no hugs, hand holding or back rubbing on display now. Despite the beautiful and hot dance just performed, their bodies were awkward, processing what just happened while simultaneously trying to pretend nothing _had_ happened. All the judges’ comments were all good, even Craig’s, but he then put Callum on the spot, asking to be taken through the meaning of the dance. “It was beautiful Callum - tell us the story you were conveying. “

Callum coughed and shook his head trying to bring himself back to reality, trying to sober up to be able to speak.

He stood nervously and was again grateful for makeup as his neck and face were burning red hot. He tried to explain that Ben had been the inspiration and it was a tale of discovery, learning who you were, learning to see and be yourself. They'd aimed to show the journey of trying to tie together feelings of pride, of loving and celebrating yourself, with the reality of lack of acceptance, feelings of shame and self-loathing. They wanted to demonstrate how cyclical it can be until you’re lucky enough to find a person who helps you find your courage, be brave enough to not hide anymore, giving you the strength and support to be who you really are. The irony of it all made him cringe and he stumbled over his words, stuttering and feeling like a hypocritical impostor and wondering what else could happen now to add to the utter humiliation that he felt. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or horrified when his partner came to the rescue, stepping in and completing the narrative for him. Ben finished with a succinct summary; “It was about coming out, wasn’t it Callum?” 

Tess thanked them and as they ran off to the gallery, all four judges stood and gave them an ovation, Bruno was wiping away tears.

The competitors in the gallery give them an ovation too, and Chantelle staged whispered to Johannes that they really need to up their game if they were going to stay ahead of these boys. Claudia meanwhile was going crazy over the outfits and how amazing they had been to the dance, and the two men both stood about two feet apart, holding out their limbs to show off all their ‘bones'. 

The Little Ballum Fan Club, or LBFC as their Whatsapp group chat was now named were murmuring, astonished at the theme of their dance but sad and confused about the lack of touching that was always so prevalent after their dances. Oti remarked on Sam’s presence, blaming him entirely and threatening to “take him out”. Mick dissuaded her, but that only earned him an interrogation and Oti’s eyes were like slits, full of suspicion. “What do you know, Carter?!” He held his hands up in defence and said, “look, I only know what you do, difference is I ain't losing faith at what’s probably summink and nuffin.” Oti huffed in annoyance as Claudia went for the judges scores.

Craig 9

Shirley 9

Motsi 10

Bruno 10

Week 6 total 38

Once transmission was over, Callum hurried over to Mick and his crowd, unaware it was an emergency meeting of the LBFC and oblivious to the awkward silence that descended as he approached, as they rapidly changed the subject. He just wanted to stay as far away from Ben as possible for now. Until he had time to breathe. He could feel Ben's eyes on him though, and it made him hot, causing him to tug at the neck of his outfit. He didn’t want to be the first one to hit the showers though, preferring to stand feeling sweaty and ridiculous, mindlessly talking bollocks to whoever would listen and allow him to kill time, so Ben would be forced to move first. 

The plan worked and he soon saw Ben, rolling his eyes and huffing, stomping away. He breathed a sigh of relief, giving it ten minutes before heading to shower off the night. He was relieved to see Ben had gone and he as he stood allowing the water to pour over his body, he took a moment, letting thoughts of the kiss creep back into his mind. He allowed his thoughts to wander further as he washed, ending up leaning his hands forwards on the tiles in an effort to regulate his breathing as his blood rushed from one head to another. 

The men’s showers however was not the place he wanted to be having these thoughts and he quickly scrubbed himself clean, physically and metaphorically. 

He got dried and dressed and headed to the adjacent room with the mirrors and the hairdryers and the sundry pots of hair gel.

He got a fright when he walked in and saw Ben, sitting waiting for him. 

“I thought you'd gone.” Callum felt equal parts of fear and elation as he stood before him.

“I needed a word.” Ben’s voice was solid and sure.

The air caught in Callum’s throat and he swallowed hard, praying that only he could hear the booming thumps of his heart.

“What was that all about Callum? Tonight?”

“I, erm, I,…” Callum sighed and then softly said “I'm sorry?”

“For what bit?” 

“Look, I didn't mean…” his voice trailed off.

Ben snapped harshly, the surety in his voice gone. “Didn’t mean what? To kiss me? To kiss me like _that_? Or to then just shut down and step away?! Blowing hot and cold with me, _again_ , like you have for weeks?!” 

Callum felt the bite of Ben's tone, and already emotionally strung out, a stray tear trickled down his cheek. His stress wasn't helped by the air being full of the scent of Ben, his shower gel, his hair gel, his aftershave and it all is making him more confused than ever.

Ben’s face softened, as did his tone as he continued “Look, I’ve been where I think you are right now but that doesn’t mean you can toy with my feelings.” 

“I didn’t think you had…” he trailed off again.

“What? Feelings?!” there was no mistaking the hurt in Ben’s voice.

“No! I didn’t mean that!” Callum said, despairing. He'd meant feelings for _him,_ and even though Mick had said he had, Callum just wondered why was this room so small and hot and so scented and everything was all so fucking confusing and how was he supposed to think, let alone speak in circumstances like this? How could he possibly say anything without it coming out all wrong?! “You keep interrupting me and misunderstanding what I’m trying to say!”

“Okay. What exactly _are_ you trying to say Callum? Go on. Spit it out.”

Ben held his gaze and Callum was instantly lost. He saw pain and hurt in the bright blue eyes that were usually sparkling with impish mischief and he knew that he wouldn’t find the words he needed that would make it better. In fact, he was one hundred percent sure anything he did say would only make things one hundred percent worse, so he just stood in silence. 

“Well, I’ll speak then.” His tone was firm again. “The kiss the other day? That’s on me. I started it and I take full responsibility.” 

Gentler, he continued. “But you,… Callum, you _responded_. You kissed me back and it was… It was fucking hot.” He huffed a nervous chuckle. “Before you ran off, that is.”

He smiled as he saw Callum blush at the memory. 

“But tonight? Tonight, that was all you! Definitely - all on you!”

Callum was looking at the ground now, scuffing his feet. 

“Also really, _really,_ fucking hot.” Ben’s voice had become a nervous whisper. “And d'ya know what? You can have that. For free. You can have both for free.” 

The air hung heavy between them and Ben chewed his lip, like he was debating what to say next.

“But no more freebies, Callum. If you want to experiment with your sexuality, go toy with whoever you played with on Thursday night.” Callum looked up startled and puzzled as Ben kept talking. “I'm not prepared to be a bit part in your big gay adventure.” His voice was almost pleading now. “I won’t do it, Callum. I can’t. Not with you.” Callum looked up puzzled and Ben continued. “You can’t kiss me like that and then walk away like it was nothing.” 

Callum was still motionless and wordless.

Ben took a very shaky breath.

“I’ll tell you this though - if you ever kiss me again, Cal,” he had to pause briefly to swallow nervously, “You won’t get to walk away. I’ll take you straight home and spend the whole night kissing you and mapping your body with my mouth.” 

His face broke into a goofy grin and he laughed nervously as he slung his bag over his shoulder. 

Callum’s eyes widened in surprise and his jaw dropped, as he watched Ben turn and walk away.

Ben prayed as he walked away, that the Lord would just give his legs the strength to get out of Callum’s sight before they gave way. No-one would believe that Ben could ever be as nervous as this, but his whole body was trembling with what he’d forced himself to say. 

“You alright there, Ben?” Mick hollered as he saw him. “You look a bit… flustered?” 

Ben faked coughed and looked around him, trying to find his lost bravado. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, Mick. How are you? Good? Yeah? See ya!” and he hurried on his way.

Mick wasn’t at all surprised to see that Callum was in similar state when he entered the little dressing room off the showers. 

“Alright son?”

“I messed it all up Mick.” Callum blurted out and he blushed deeply.

“Oh, boy.” He sat down beside him and leaned into his arm briefly. “What happened?”

Poor Callum cringed as he told Mick what happened although he only hinted at Ben's “threat" rather than going into the specifics.

“I can’t lie to you son.” Mick said. “If a bird said that to me, I would seriously doubt that I'd messed it up.” and he laughed. “How d'ya feel about it?”

“About what?”

Mick rolled his eyes, but smiled kindly as he said “Son, don’t overthink it. Forget about all the other stuff, forget about being gay and what that means and what people might think and how your dad, who you ain’t seen for years would say. In a perfect world, where all that don’t matter – what do you want? Would you like him to “take you home”?”

“I’m scared Mick. Petrified.”

“And that’s okay. Course you are. I guess you just need to work out what scares you most.”

“Huh?”

“If I said that tonight was your only chance, how would you feel? That you can run after him now, tell him how you feel, kiss him again, or you let him go but when you wake up tomorrow you’ll never get another chance with him again. What scares you more?” 

He nudged Callum’s arm again and nodded towards the door. Callum grabbed his bag and ran, just praying he wasn’t too late. 

He didn’t know that Ben had initially waited for him. He had walked out slowly to his car, listening out keenly in the hope of hearing Callum's footsteps, following after him. He reached the car disappointed. He sat for five minutes messing with his phone, as cover, so he wouldn’t disappoint Callum when he would chase after him and question him about what he just said. When Callum seemed to be taking his sweet time in doing this, he frowned and moved to pretending he needed to check his oil and tyre pressure, doing each check slowly and deliberately, giving Callum more of a chance. As he stood under the raised bonnet, he found himself peeping out every few seconds hoping to see his dance partner march over and demand an explanation. Every few seconds he was disappointed. He became annoyed with himself; exactly how long was he prepared to wait around like a sad little puppy, just to be kicked again? He slammed the bonnet forcefully, wiping his hands clean on a rag, deciding to give up. Enough. 

His hand was on his car door when he heard it. It was said so quietly, he was convinced he'd imagined it, but it made his heart flutter anyway. Just one word. It was like honey drizzling on toast, the way he said it. How it rumbled thickly from Callum's mouth to Ben's ears. 

“Ben?” and he felt a hand on his arm, halting his movement. 

He turned slowly and looked up at his tall dance partner and his gaze met big, round blue eyes, that were darkening fast, becoming all pupil. Eyes crinkling at the sides as Callum’s face broke into a bashful smile, soft indentations in his cheeks as his dimples appeared and Ben honestly didn't think he'd ever seen anything as beautiful as this sight. He felt himself blushing and then cringed inwardly as he couldn't remember last time anyone had made him blush – if indeed anyone ever had.

The air between them became as heavy as lead and the two men stood, lost in each other’s eyes, Callum’s hand still on Ben’s arm, the electricity of the gentle touch coursing through them both like a lightning storm, and their focus flickered between eyes and lips, lips that were being swiftly moistened by darting tongues.

Callum leaned in slowly and it felt like the world had stopped spinning and all noise fell away as his lips pressed on Ben’s. He felt Ben wobble so wrapped his arm around to steady him, placing his other hand at the back of Ben’s head to pull him closer, increasing the pressure on Ben's lips, feeling him react and push back, matching the force from his side. 

They broke away briefly, holding each other’s gaze, confirming it was what they both wanted, before Callum felt Ben’s hand on the back of his neck, pulling him back urgently. This time their lips crashed together as if floodgates had been opened and they hummed and moaned and gave softs grunts as nothing could now hold them back. 

Lips parted and mouths fell open with out prompting, and Callum was soon lost in this divine ecstasy of kissing Ben, overwhelmed that kissing could feel like this and he wanted it to never end. 

The passion increased as teeth clashed and tongues fumbled, desperate to get in the mouth of the other in order to taste, and lick and lap while bodies pushed together, their need for each other spreading through their bodies and stiffening cocks sought friction and touch. 

They parted for breath again, the passion of their kiss was clearly evident in Callum's flushed face and plumped lips and they both had bashful smiles that couldn’t be contained. Ben’s gaze lingered on Callum's eyes and he proffered his lips once more and Callum soon had them, his teeth nipping at his bottom lip and then sucking it tenderly to soothe any pain, licking it with his tongue as he pushed into Ben's still open mouth, seeking its partner. As Ben slipped his tongue out to play, Callum drew it in his mouth, a muffled moan escaping as he sucked softly, pushing himself into Ben’s body, slamming him against his car.

They were both now more breathless at this kiss than they had been at the end of any dance, and just stood for a moment, foreheads touching as they panted, and Ben gave a gentle, huffing laugh, “Did you forget what I just promised to do if you kissed me again?” He broke his question up as he spoke, peppering Callum's lips with little kisses as he whispered, like their lips had to meet at least once a second so he could stay alive. 

Callum whispered back as he nibbled on Ben’s ear, his breath tickling and causing him to shiver. “I didn’t forget. I’m counting on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments sought and gratefully received, and I hope you're enjoying the music choice and dance themes too! Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd hoped to post this yesterday, but well... the boys took longer than I thought. 😉😂
> 
> It's all smut and I really hope you enjoy! Please comment and let me know if you do! 🥰

Ben pulled back to look at him, checking that he’d heard him correctly. Callum's eyes were like saucers, and the heat emanating from the striking blue confirmed his hearing had not deceived him. He leaned in again, his kiss chaste this time, just enough to reel Callum back in, before he gently pushed him away. 

“Ben?”

Ben had stepped away, walking to the back to car. “Let’s go.” And he held up car keys and jangled them, stepping round to the driver’s side of Callum’s car. 

“Whe-?” was all Callum could say and he was confused as he patted himself down, realising Ben had somehow fished his car keys out of his pocket. “Who are you, the Artful Dodger?!”

“Get in" Ben growled and his bit his lip.

“Huh?”

“Get in, Callum! Look, I’m driving. If I let you drive yourself, you’ll only talk yourself out of it on the way.” He gave a sheepish grin and lowered his chin so he was now viewing Callum from under his dark lashes. He spoke firmly but quietly. “You _were_ told what would happen.” 

Callum laughed shyly, opened his passenger car door and got in. He hadn’t even put on his seatbelt and Ben was in the driver’s seat, reversing quickly out the space, and then he had the tyres spinning, burning skid marks on the tarmac as he sped out the car park.

Mick, Oti, Chantelle and Johannes were spilling out the exit door as the car with the two occupants shot past. 

“What was that?!” Oti asked. 

As a group they all turned to look round and saw Ben’s car sitting alone, void of any occupant. 

“That, my dear Oti" Mick said, “looks like a mercy dash.” 

The little group laughed and high-fived and Oti squealed hugging tightly into Mick’s arm.

“I get you’re trying to get us there fast Ben, but if you don’t slow down we might never get there at all!” Callum cried as Ben weaved through the Saturday night traffic. Ben glanced at him and grinned, shifting gear to push the car harder.

Callum put his hand over Ben’s that was still on the gear stick. His voice was softer this time. “Ben, I’d hate to miss out.” The car slowed down as the Ben fully understood Callum’s implication. He had _no_ plans to miss out tonight. He couldn't prevent the cheesy grin plastered all over his face. 

They pulled up to Ben’s flat, and the air became a little awkward as he switched off the engine. 

“Here we are.” Ben said, nerves creeping into his voice, and he sighed. “I hope you ain’t but you _can_ still change your mind. We don't have to do anything, but please, at least come up for a drink. We should probably at least talk.” 

Callum nodded, as he moistened his lips again. “I ain’t changed my mind, Ben.” He maintained eye contact with him, but he was obviously nervous and he blushed deeply as he spoke. Ben reached out and stroked his cheek before cupping his face in his hand. Softly he said “You really have no idea how gorgeous you are when you do that, do ya?”

Callum smiled and to Ben it really was as though the sun had come out. He just wanted to get lost in it’s brilliance and leaned partially over, hoping the sun would move closer to meet him. It did and he soon felt Callum’s large hands envelope his head and he was pulled in for another kiss. He didn’t understand it, but each time so far when his lips met with Callum's it was a new and different sensation and he couldn’t get enough of it.

It wasn’t long before the heat took over again and tongues were licking and circling, lips were being bitten and sucked and they both were having to shift in the seats to free the constriction of the growing want in their trousers. Ben didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to stop, but he knew he didn’t want it here. He wouldn’t have the time and space to truly enjoy Callum here. More than that, he knew that Callum would be more comfortable and relaxed in his bed, and that meant this stunning man on his lips would enjoy it more, and that was what Ben wanted more than anything.

He slipped his hand to side of Callum’s seat and pulled on a little lever. Callum cried out in fright when he was immediately flipped back as the seat shot flat, just as it had the day he’d driven Ben for a drink at his local. His eyes closed as his face lit up and his laugh began to rumble, quietly at first and then into huge, deep, peals and Ben was sure that at the rate he was melting, when Callum opened his eyes he would only see a puddle where he had sat. He moved before that could happen, lying on top of Callum, caught up in the laughter but kissing him too, unable to resist the open neck that lay exposed and as his lips grazed a soft spot under his ear and the air inside the car became supercharged instantly. He gently nipped, sucked and kissed, as he realised he’d uncovered a weak spot as Callum was boneless beneath him uttering the hottest, sexiest sounds Ben had ever heard. He quickly stored the sexy little nugget of info away for later and was pleased to have found the first spot on his map. 

He had only pulled the lever to break the hot atmosphere for a moment and move them up to the flat, but he’d only made things worse. Or should that be better? The hardest thing he ever had to do in his life was to peel himself off Callum at this moment, but he knew it would be worth it. “Not here” he growled in Callum’s ear and he felt him shiver. “At least not _yet_.” and he popped the lever again and Callum shot back up. His pupils were blown, his cheeks flushed, lips bitten and swollen and his hair stuck up at the parting, free now from gel and the strands bounced and waved softly like wheatsheaf. Ben’s breath hitched at the vision before him. “You’re breathtaking.” He heard himself say and his hand again rested on the side of Callum’s face as he drank him in. “C'mon!” 

They ran to the door and Ben felt stupid and frustrated with himself as he fumbled with his key, trembling hands managing to point and stab it everywhere except the keyhole.

“You better not be this clumsy in bed!" Callum joked and he froze as he realised he had said this joke out loud. 

Ben’s eyes saucered and he broke into the widest smile. “Are you flirting with me Cal?" he giggled, then stopped all his movements, took a deep breath and finally slipped the key in slot. 

He had no idea what him calling Callum “Cal” did to the taller man who now had more butterflies than he could cope with in his tummy, but he was enjoying the banter so he forced himself to reply “Nah, just had to get ya focused."

Ben’s mouth formed an exaggerated “Oh" and said “Why, I do believe you _are_ flirting with me Mr Highway.” and he swung the door open for him. 

“and I also need to pee really badly" and Callum ran in straight to the bathroom and closed the door. 

Ben chuckled as he stepped in, muttering “charming" and he gently rapped on the bathroom door, calling through, “Do you need me to hold it for you?!”

“Not yet!” was the cheeky reply and Ben laughed softly, resting his head on the door, grinning like the Cheshire cat. 

He moved away, to leave Callum in peace and walked to the lounge, throwing his jacket on a chair going then to the kitchen where he grabbed a beer from the fridge and shared it into two glasses. He smiled at himself, trying to remember the last time he felt this excited but if the memory was there, he couldn’t find it.

Callum meanwhile was struggling with a new experience in the bathroom. How could he be 29 years of age and never had to try and pee with a hard-on before. Well, not this hard. He felt ridiculous as he tried to think of something, anything not sex related so he could lose the boner even just for a minute. He thought of football, imagining the results guy reading out the Scottish Second Division scores, which began to work until he thought of Ben in a football strip sitting in an empty changing room, rock hard cock tenting in silky shorts and, oh for fuck’s sake, he was making things worse instead of better. He concentrated on his breathing, taking slow breaths in and out, and then allowed his mind to wander to Whitney, imagining how she would react if she found out about this. It wasn’t really any of her business anymore, but the thought of her “I told you so’s” deflated him enough to allow the pee to flow.

He looked in the mirror as he washed his hands, rallying himself, thinking back to the other night at Mick’s. “Anything between two consenting adults that feels right, can’t ever be wrong.” he had said, and he’d stroked Callum's head as he wept into his chest. “You’re 29, Callum. Do you not think it’s time to stop denying yourself a chance at real and proper love?”

“You alright in there?” Ben had become concerned at time Callum was taking - scared he was in there talking himself out of whatever this was. He didn’t want to be messed around, but more than that he definitely didn’t want Callum to feel uncomfortable or pushed into something he wasn’t ready for. “Callum, if you’ve changed your mind, it’s okay. I promise. Look, I’ve poured you a drink. I’m in the kitchen when you’re ready. I meant it when I said we can just talk if that’s what you want.”

“I'll just be a minute" Callum called back, mortified at Ben's concern. He ran the tap again, splashing his hot cheeks with cold water, grabbing a towel to pat himself dry. He inhaled Ben’s scent as the fabric touched his face, and a little twitching below promised him everything would be okay, if he just let it. He smiled at the mirror and ran a hand through his hair, hoping Ben still fancied him with it ruffled and out of place. (Ed. note: He did. Very much so.)

Ben was casually leaning back against the counter, scrolling through his phone when Callum walked through, and it took his breath away. The lighting was dimmed, framing him perfectly, and Callum swallowed hard as he walked towards him. His mouth had gone bone dry and he grabbed the fullest beer glass, gulping greedily to slake his thirst. 

Ben looked up and smiled softly as Callum now sipped, and he wanted to reassure him again. “I meant what I said, ya know. Don’t get me wrong, I want you. Jesus, I want you so bad,” and at arms length he walked his fingers up Callum’s torso. Callum was surprised to notice he was blushing as he spoke, “but not if it’s something you don’t want or ain’t ready for. I've been where you are, and I know how scary this is. “

Callum took his turn to blush now and said thanks. “I, eh, I just had to get rid of my boner before I could pee.” and he shrugged his shoulders. They looked at each other coyly and both laughed. “I am nervous, but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be, Ben. I promise.” He took another sip of beer to steady his nerves and then moved in front of Ben, lifting his chin up to make him look him in the eyes. “I promise.” He repeated, and as he leaned in to kiss him again, he bravely whispered “Now, about these cartography skills of yours…”

They stood and kissed leisurely, tongues slowly dipping and tasting, hands pressed on each other’s heads, but once their cocks stirred into life, the pace picked up and Callum tugged at Ben’s shirt hitching it up and fumbling at the buttons. They were quite small buttons for his big fingers and he ended up huffing in frustration and pulling the shirt up and over Ben’s head. He took a step back to look at him, his eyes darkening as he appraised. “You really are beautiful” he said softly, nervous that a body like this would really want him. Ben saw the flicker of insecurity cross his face and pulled Callum back to him, kissing him gently before he whispered back, “I need your skin on mine.” and he hauled and lifted Callum’s shirt off just as his own had been removed moments before. They both stood, arms round the other’s waist and drank each other in. Ben moved his hand first, gently stroking Callum’s chest, fingers working lightly until he reached one of Callum’s nipples and he heard him sharply intake a breath. Fuck, the noise went straight to his dick and he knew he was never going to tire of exploring this man before him when he was rewarded like this. He leaned over and bent his head to place his mouth where his fingers had just been, and he felt Callum quiver in his arms. He took his nipple between his teeth and gently tugged, Callum’s knees buckling as he pulled. There was a humming too that he could hear, and it took a minute for it to dawn that the noise was actually coming from him. 

He looked up and Callum’s head was back, eyes closed and his expression completely blissed out. Ben stood and just watched him, Callum then righting his head and opening his eyes. “Why d'ya stop? Did I do something wrong?” 

Ben smiled and reassured him in a voice husky with lust. “Not at all Cal. You’re doing everything just right.” He grabbed his hand and pulled him hurriedly to his bedroom, pushing him up against the wall, and Callum pulled him tight, mumbling something about Ben being so right about the skin thing. All breath just about left his body when Ben palmed his dick, but as he puffed, he slipped his hand on Ben too and thought he would come where he stood, at the noise Ben made when he touched him.

Both men were sweating now, lightly glistening in the lamplight and as they kissed greedily, lips being crushed and tongues frantically pushing, licking and lapping as they grappled with buckles, buttons and zips, pushing the last of their clothing down to the floor. They stepped out and holding both hands, stood opposite each other, naked emotionally as well as physically. Callum had never been in this kind of situation ever, and although he felt vulnerable, he knew he was safe. He trusted Ben and as his eyes wandered over his body, the one feeling he couldn’t get over was just how _right_ it felt. It seemed that nothing in his life had felt right before this moment and now it was the only thing he felt. 

Ben was enraptured at the naked vision before him. He’d seen most bits of Callum at one point or another, and felt bits too but nothing in his head had created a picture like this. “Did I tell you already you’re gorgeous” he puffed out, eyes dark and roaming, and he bit his lip as his eye alighted at Callum’s cock. It stood fully to attention, and Ben was pleased to see it was a little bigger than he had pictured. 

‘Yeah, you did" Callum said smiling. “I could say the same about you.” and they pulled together like magnets, heated passion in their kiss, bodies pushing against each other and both being left breathless when their dicks brushed. Their hands were exploring everywhere too, Callum’s hand stopping as it touched Ben's cock and he fingered it gently, loving how it felt, rock hard but with the softest skin, and the size perfect for his hand. He spun Ben around and slammed him into the wall, startling him before he surprised him further as he slid onto his knees, looking at Ben's dick with wide eyes and he licked his lips as he looked, and it all was so much better than he'd imagined. He was terrified, but the urge was stronger than his fear and he whispered to Ben to tell him if he did something wrong as he leaned in, slowly licking the length, his tongue becoming gentler when he reached the frenulum before licking round the rim. 

“Callum…” Ben’s voice was breathy, but serious. “I said _I_ would map _you_ ”

“Let me taste you, Ben. Please. I need. To taste.”

And taste he did and his tongue dipped Ben’s slit as it oozed some pre-cum and as Ben looked down, he saw Callum’s tongue withdraw, with a string of spit and cum hanging unbroken between it and Ben’s dick, and Callum looking up at him with those bright blue eyes framed with dark lashes, looking innocent and sinful all the same. He threw his head back and told Callum urgently to stop. Callum leapt to his feet, worry in his eyes, sure he had done something wrong. Ben put his hand on Callum’s shoulder, literally keeping him at arm’s length, while he got his breath back. 

“Sorry! Did I hurt you?!” 

Ben laughed, telling him that no, in no way had Callum hurt him. “You were about to get a face full of come, and I don’t want to yet.” He laughed again and said “I’m not sure this was the arrangement Callum. I think you’re supposed to be on the bed, and I’m supposed to be the one worshipping with my mouth.”

Callum, taking confidence that he was doing a good job grinned and leaned in, kissing Ben again. “You seem like a guy who gets what he wants. If I’m not on your bed yet, maybe it’s because you don’t want me there.”

Ben feigned shock and said “Oh, really?” and he pushed the taller man with all his strength. He didn’t have a height advantage, and Callum being so flirtatious had given him strength-sapping butterflies but he was fit with solid core strength and with the added advantage of surprise, he was soon gaining momentum in pushing Callum backwards to the bed. Callum started to play wrestle back as they reached the bed, and Ben let him pin his hands behind his back and so Callum was leaning slightly forward and his body was pushing into Ben's. They kissed again, dirty and flirty and as Ben worked his way along his jaw, Callum leaned his head back to give Ben access to his neck. Ben took full advantage and softly peppered kisses slowly making his way to the spot he had uncovered earlier in the car. He sucked gently and as he felt Callum shiver, he hooked his leg around to collapse his knees, just as he had done before that first kiss in the dance studio. With his shoulder ready, he pushed and sent Callum tumbling onto the bed, and as Ben’s hands were released in the fall, he grabbed Callum’s arms and pinned them above his head. The air thickened between them as they lay. 

“Hi" Ben said, licking his lips and looking at his captive adoringly.

“Hi" Callum answered, swallowing as he spoke and goddammit his face flushed again and Ben couldn’t do anything but puff out an appreciative laugh, before he planted a chaste kiss on Callum’s lips. 

He said “We’ll go slowly, okay?”

Callum laughed, “I dunno. I might enjoy a bit of roughness.”

Ben’s dick responded positively to this instantly but he kept a poker face.

“I said slowly. Didn’t say nuffin about being gentle” He interspersed each word with kisses that were gentle though and he felt Callum’s lips form a smile under his own.

Ben pushed himself up to where he had Callum’s arms pinned above his head, administering long, slow kisses down his arms, giving an occasional little kitten lick just to feel shivering below him. Callum was responding by doing the same to Ben’s chest and with every touch, Ben involuntarily thrust, rubbing his rock solid cock against Callum’s stomach, and he could feel Callum do the same against his leg. 

He reached his underarm and the clean and pure scent of the man below him stopped him in his tracks. He burrowed in a little bit, allowing the hair to tickle his nose as he inhaled and the essence of Callum overtook him and so he nosed deeper, kissing him in the fold and he was surprised to discover himself so lost in such an intimate act. He felt Callum nuzzling at his cheek, kisses journeying to Ben’s lips and he turned his face, latching on to Callum’s mouth, desperate for more of him. 

He and Callum just lay for a while and made out with wet and dirty kisses, legs tangled, rubbing and thrusting on each other, just enjoying themselves in the moment. Whilst driving them home, Ben had known he wanted to take his time – he wanted to savour Callum - but he hadn’t expected to be this lost this soon. He had released his hold on him while doing this making out, as he wanted to stroke and run his fingertips all over Callum, who had taken his free limbs and encased Ben with one arm, his large hand spread out on his back, circling and edging closer to his arse with each glide, while his other hand held Ben’s head and pulled him heavy to his lips. 

Ben’s hand slid down Callum’s body and drawing for breath he whispered in his ear “Let me touch you.” Callum nodded and his breath hitched when Ben wrapped his hand around him. He moved and sucked lightly on the hot spot, giving gentle nips with his teeth and Callum was completely boneless again, flopping onto his back humming and moaning those beautiful sounds again too. It made Ben all the harder and he moved himself on top, balancing on one elbow and then taking both himself and Callum in his hand. Callum mumbled an “oh fuck” and his breathing became erratic. “Stop Ben, stop. I’m gonna come. Please.” He pushed his face into Ben’s neck to hide his embarrassment, but he didn’t move his hand to stop him. 

Ben did stop though, but still held them both in his palm, kissing the tip of Callum's nose, then replacing his lips with his own nose, he said “I can promise you, both of us will be coming more than once, Cal. We got all night, babe.” 

The “babe" made Callum smile as it gave him flutters and he pulled Ben in to kiss him again, but just before their lips met, he said, “Okay. I’ll be at your mercy.” 

That was all Ben needed to hear and as their lips crashed together he began to pump his hand around them both again, and he rutted into his hand as Callum moaned into his mouth. He on the brink himself - he couldn’t believe how turned on he was and again how quickly he could lose himself in Callum. He had never doubted it would be amazing, but having him here, his body slick with sweat beneath him, feeling his moans vibrate through him, _fuck_ it was so fucking _hot_. He moved his lips to his neck, deliberately scraping his stubble on the soft skin to see if Callum would like it, and judging on the mewling coming from his throat, Ben figured he liked it very much. He was pleased to add a new little box to his map, as Callum helplessly writhed below him. He ramped up the speed of his hand pumping their touching cocks, feeling some of Callum's pre-cum leak from his tip. He brushed his thumb over the top and instantly he realised Callum was ready to peak. He pushed his thumb into the slit with more pressure to see how he responded.

Callum didn't know what was happening to him; he felt lost in a million different sensations, electricity and fireworks sparking through him and he didn't know up from down. It felt like Ben was touching every part of him simultaneously, and his brain couldn't process it fast enough, receptors chasing the next touch, stroke, scrape, rub, lick, suck, bite or thrust all around his body. He’d never felt this alive and the only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t want it to stop. And then Ben had pushed his thumb into his slit and he had seen only white. White flash-bangs exploding behind his eyes as he orgasmed, his body spasming as ropes of hot white spunk spurted over his belly, chest and Ben’s hands. Ben let his own cock out his grip, holding only Callum now and he decreased his speed, working his hand at just the right pace to carry Callum through his climax. He’d leaned up and watched Callum as he felt him come and apparently Callum just looked fucking hotter and hotter as every second passed. Ben's eyes witnessed him falling apart as he jerked and gasped, and he heard his name and sweet curses tumble repeatedly from Callum lips that were bitten red and swollen from the passion of their kisses. He had his head thrown back, and his hair was now completely gel-less, flopping back as he did, his longish strands bouncing softy as he shivered and twitched, and Ben concentrated hard on committing this vision to memory. When Callum opened his eyes, Ben saw his pupils were blown, and the soft, sated smile that formed on his lips was irresistible and he had to lean in and kiss him again – the couple of minutes that had passed from their last kiss now too much time for him to bear.

The kiss was slow and leisurely, but Ben was still hard, and Callum could feel him pressing against his hip. He moved his hand and took hold of Ben and felt him melt above him. He moved his lips to Ben’s good ear and whispered to him to tell him how he likes it and to let him know if he did anything wrong. He was licking the shell of his ear as he spoke and Ben was quivering, so he knew at least for now he was doing it right. He sucked gently at his lobe too and he felt Ben collapse on him and breathily confirm he _was_ doing everything right. “Just touch me like you touch yourself.” 

Callum laughed and slipped his tongue in his ear again and then decided to tease him. “Like how I touched myself last night? When I was thinking how good you looked coming out the shower and I wanted to lick those water droplets off one by one…”

He got the reaction he hoped for as Ben stiffened even more in his hand and gave a filthy moan as his weight pressed more on Callum’s body. “You sure you’ve never done this before?” Ben managed to gasp as Callum moved him on to his back to allow better access. “Doesn’t mean I ain’t thought about it” Callum said, and he continued to whisper a salacious blow by blow account of what he’d done to himself thinking about Ben. He could feel the changes in Ben’s body as he was almost ready to come.

Ben was ready to come alright. Callum giving wet licks to his ear, hand encasing his dick and the tickly whispers as he wickedly told him how he made himself come thinking about Ben, was pushing him closer and closer. He felt himself pool in his belly and balls and Callum felt it too, reacting by letting his little finger rub Ben’s perineum as he shamelessly confessed to Ben that last night he had for the first time slipped a finger in his hole, intrigued to see how it felt and how that with the imagery of Ben sucking him off had been the trigger to him spilling hard over himself. It was the trigger for Ben too and he came long and hard, gasping for breath in between the kisses that Callum now administered as the hot and sticky spunk covered Callum’s hand and the sensation of the wet fingers on his dick pushed him deeper into climax, He couldn’t stop from crying out Callum’s name with what felt like his last breath as he wrapped himself around him and squeezed tight, trying to carry his spasming body through this delicious ride. Callum’s lips had moved back to nuzzle Ben’s neck and let him catch his breath, while his hand slacked, and his pace eased to allow him to come slowly back down to earth.

He huffed a laugh as he grounded, Callum still above him, held in the grip of his arms. He looked up at him, seeing Callum’s eyes still a bit blown, twinkling with curiosity and a little bit of pride at what he obviously saw as an achievement. 

They lay in each other’s arms for a few minutes, limbs tangled and essentially getting their breath back, but leaning in for a quick peck every now and then before Ben groaned and moved himself with the intention of getting up to grab something to clean themselves up with. 

He hesitated before he left though, lying back down and re-wrapping himself around the tall hunk he had beside him. There had been one little thing nagging at him before and now, after that outstanding performance, it was nagging quite a bit louder than before.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Sure”

“Is this really your first time with another man?”

“Is it that obvious?” Callum rolled and buried his head in Ben’s neck again after he spoke, and Ben felt the heat on his face and ears as he nuzzled.

“Obvious?”

“That I’ve never touched a man before” was the muffled reply from his neck.

“Callum?” and Ben pulled his back to look at him. “It’s none of my business, I know, but where were _did_ you go on Thursday night? Sorry for being nosy, I’m just really curious. You didn’t hook up with anyone? Another man?”

“Is this what you meant before? When you accused me of “experimenting”?” and Callum laughed.

“I guess.” It was Ben’s turn to blush and he now buried his head in Callum’s neck.

“I can assure you I have never been with another guy. I couldn’t with a stranger or like just anyone. I would have thought it was obvious this is my first time.” 

They were both subconsciously stroking each other’s back as they lay and had this awkward chat. 

“I don’t think it’s obvious at all. You may be a bit of rookie, but you, eh, you soon warmed up!”

Callum laughed that sexy belly laugh and said “Really?! I was okay then?”

Ben pushed up to lean over and kissed him. “More than” and dipped to kiss again.

Callum pulled him back, with hands on his head. “What’s this about? You scared someone else would pop my gay cherry?! You wanted it to be you?”

Ben gave a bashful laugh and tried to wrestle his head free from Callum’s grip so he could kiss him again, but Callum wasn’t letting him hide from his question.

“The length of time I’ve lusted after you, then yes, I guess that’s exactly what I wanted.”

Callum had no comeback, and could only lie and stare into Ben’s eyes, trying to absorb the meaning of what he’d just said. 

Ben felt the grip of the hands holding his head loosen and taking advantage he broke free. “For a beginner, I’m gonna say you show a lot of promise.” He said, laughing again, and he leaned down for more kisses, not caring now about the drying stickiness between them, just loving the heat and feeling of Callum’s slick body beneath him. The confirmation that he was the first man Callum had been with sending him back to float on his post orgasmic cloud, and laying his head on his chest, he smiled gratefully and listened to the soft thump, thump of Callum’s heartbeat.

He lay for just a few minutes and then lifted his head. “Oh god, I don’t want to move from here” he said smiling as he hovered above and now fully appreciated Callum’s gorgeous post-sex face. Hair bounced as he breathed, his face flush and lips plump. He shook his head and laughed and Callum, looking confused although he was smiling asked anxiously “What?” Ben chuckled again and just said “You’re something else, Highway. Fuck, you really are!” and he planted a smacker of a kiss on his lips and lifted himself off, heading to the bathroom. 

When he returned with a damp flannel and a hand towel, Callum had rolled onto his front, looking away from the door and he looked a vision. He was almost in the recovery position and Ben thought how easy it would be to mould himself on to his back and wished he could so he could then slide his cock inside him. He gave a shaky exhale and walked over. Callum didn’t move and Ben called his name quietly seeing if he’d crashed out. He was awake, but replied “I feel ready to crash though… I had no idea sex could be like that.” His voice was muffled as he spoke into the bedding beneath him. Ben heard enough though as he lay himself at Callum’s back, kissing in between his shoulder blades. “Good “like that”?” Ben asked as he kissed. He felt Callum nod his head, and his kissing was interrupted by the grin forming on his face. 

Callum shivered as Ben placed the damp cloth on his side, telling him to roll back a little so he could move the cloth round to the front, and wipe away the remnants of their first coupling. He used his body to push Callum back on his front when he had finished cleaning, throwing the cloth and towel on the floor, recommencing his kisses, moving up and starting over on the back of his arms this time. 

The kisses felt like a massage to Callum, who would not have been able to move even if he’d wanted to, but it was fine because he didn’t. He didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world but beneath Ben and trying to guess where his lips would touch him next. He made a mental note to find a way to say thanks to Mick without informing him of events. He didn’t want to gush to Mick about now having had the greatest sexual experience of his life, but recognised he probably wouldn’t be here but for his counsel. He decided to worry about that another day, and just lose himself in Ben’s ministrations. Ben had worked his way back to the shoulder blades, but his fingers still roamed Callum’s arms, soothing any loss they felt as his lips moved on. Ben’s breath was hitching as moved lower, as his dick was in a perfect position to access Callum’s hole, and Ben wished things would work with them enough that he could do it one day. The thought made him hard again, and soon the tip of him was being tickled by the fluff of Callum’s arse. Ben felt him tense, and quickly moved his kisses, and therefore his dick, lower. He had no plans to push his luck too far tonight. Callum relaxed as he knew he wouldn’t be invaded anytime soon, and it didn’t take long for him to be lost again in the “where next” game with Ben’s lips. 

Ben kept good on his promise, and there was not an inch of Callum’s back that his lips hadn’t touched. As he kissed his arse cheeks he felt him tense again, but knew it was more of a clench responding to a tickle rather than nerves that Ben was about to fuck him raw. He scratched the cheeks with his stubble causing Callum to thrust himself into the mattress, and then Ben swooned a little at the groans he made as Ben reached the bottom of his bum, stubble scraping and peppering kisses around his hole. Rubbing his chin back on the fattest part of the cheeks, Ben softly reminded Callum that he could say stop at any time, and if Ben did anything he didn’t like, he was to tell him straight away. Callum again nodded his head lazily, and Ben heard a “mmmhmm” muffled into the sheets. He kissed a route back down to Callum’s hole, gently parting his cheeks with his hands. He breathed heavily at first and then blew softly at his target and he wished he had some sort of recording device somewhere so he could forever keep these sounds that his moves were eliciting from this stunning man. He decided to take a chance and slid his tongue out, ever so slightly brushing the tip over his hole, waiting on Callum’s reaction and anticipating instructions to stop. No instructions were forthcoming though, and he judged by that and the quivering that he could lick again. He did, more than once this time, and soon was salivating as he lapped. Still no words from Callum, only glorious noises of contentment and arousal, so he drooled saliva over, making sure it thoroughly wet and then pushed his tongue down, a little harder this time, making circular motions, essentially French kissing without penetrating. He felt Callum shuffle so he could take his dick in his hand, lazily stroking himself as the expert tongue lapped at him.

Callum _had_ to touch himself. The sounds Ben was making while busying himself at his arse, the soft humming muddled with outrageous slurping noises, was like an exquisite symphony to Callum’s ears and the friction of the mattress wasn’t enough for him anymore.

Ben could have stayed licking Callum’s hole all night, but his tongue was starting to tire, and he didn’t want to stop exploring either, so he continued downwards, sucking and nipping at the back of his thighs, sucking harder at the crease between ass and leg, unable to resist leaving his mark. He pulled back to look as the bruise formed and knew he’d enjoy recalling this sight again on his own sometime. He pushed his face between Callum’s legs, spreading him out so he could access his inner thighs from behind to suck and bite there too. Again, the movement, soft hums and moans coming from Callum confirmed whatever he was doing, he was doing it right.

Callum couldn’t believe just _how_ right everything Ben did was. He was caught between never wanting a particular feeling to end, and anticipation that Ben’s next move would be a least as good if not better. He chose to just stop thinking about it and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be in the moment and just enjoy the fact that Ben seemed to know his body’s wants better than himself. Including the biting on his thighs, which was sore, but really fucking good sore, making your dick fucking rock hard sore, and the dirty hot sensation of Ben’s head bumping at the bottom of his arse, as his face pushed his legs apart wasn’t lost on him either. 

In time, Ben had mapped out the entirety of the back and front of Callum’s legs, and he was again at the top of his legs, revisiting the further marks he’d left several minutes earlier, licking gently to soothe them. His hair was brushing Callum’s balls and base of his dick which was soon straining as the tickle drove Callum crazy, but he was loving the wicked relentlessness of it, and he tightened his grip on himself, pulling faster. Ben was aware of the change in his movements and was having none of it. He would be in charge of this. Callum had distracted him from this mapping business once already tonight. He stopped his nibbling and popped his head up, shuffling up on his knees, removing Callum’s hand from his dick and they were soon in the earlier starting position, Ben above Callum, pinning his hands above his head. 

Ben just looked at him for a moment, biting his lip before he spoke first.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“How you doing?”

“Really good, actually” and Callum laughed shyly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah”

“Ready for some more?”

“I think I might be, yeah” and he blushed. Ben had to close his eyes as he exhaled loud and long. 

“You know you can tell me to stop at any time.”

“Can I also tell you _not_ to stop?”

Ben couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He was so consumed and lost in this man. “You can absolutely tell me that. At any time. Repeatedly!”

He lowered his head and kissed him again, God, he couldn’t imagine ever tiring of kissing this man. He momentarily wished he had two mouths, so he could just keep kissing with one while the other could do the exploring. He’d never felt like this with any other man he’d ever been with; the majority he didn’t even kiss if he could avoid it and preferred them to do the exploring, but Callum… he couldn’t believe how he made him feel. The touches, the looks and now this. This real, intimate touching and these kisses, each one brand new and explosive whether it was a peck or dirty, open mouthed, and tongue twisting. Callum may not ever have been with a man before, but Ben knew _he’d_ never been with a man _like_ _this_ before. He guessed maybe they weren’t feeling that different tonight, and although for slightly different reasons, they were both scared and thrilled in equal measure. Maybe they were both popping a cherry tonight. 

He didn’t have two mouths though, so reluctantly pulled his lips from Callum’s, before placing them eagerly on his chest, holding himself back from launching onto his nipples, wanting to do that with intent rather than exploration. Ben worked lower, letting his fingers work the nipples while he kissed into the softness of his belly, which to fair, wasn’t very soft at all but he loved how it felt on his lips all the same. He kissed his belly button and felt him laugh, the trembling working its way to both their dicks simultaneously, and as he dipped his tongue, he felt Callum push his dick up into stomach and it left a little damp pre-cum residue. As much as he wanted to stay around the belly button and get more of that _A-fucking-dorable_ laughter, the little wetness on his belly reminded him of where he really wanted to be, the destination for this journey. He moved further down, only breathing on Callum’s dick as he passed, knowing it was straining for touch, but wanting to tease him a little and he also reached his hands out and grabbed a hold of Callum’s wrists to stop him touching himself. He scratched his stubble on his thigh again and deciding he’d sucked and bitten the area enough for tonight, he speckled just the softest kisses there instead, Callum not only making soft and breathy moans, but using his legs to encase Ben’s head. Ben loved the feeling of the big thighs restricting him, and it turned him on to have to shuffle his head and fight against them so he could move. Callum let his legs fall open and soon after Ben was sucking on his balls and teasing his dick with the lightest of fingertip taps and strokes, and then Callum’s moans were forming words that gently pleaded, “Please, Ben, _please_.”

“What do you want me to do babe?” Ben rasped between sucks.

“Please Ben. You know what.”

“Tell me, Callum. Please, let me hear you say it.”

“Suck me, Ben.”

“Hmf?” Ben was talking with his mouth full, and the vibrations of his question reverberated through Callum’s sac and throughout his whole body, causing him to jerk. 

“Ben.” And he had to draw breath. “Please. I need you to suck me. Please, suck my dick.”

Ben felt himself shudder as he heard his words and was about to move his mouth when he felt Callum try and pull his wrists from Ben’s grasp. It was just seconds before he pleaded again. “Let me fuck your mouth, Ben. Please. I wanna fuck your mouth. I need my dick in your _fucking mouth._ Let me… _fuuuuuuuck_ ” and he couldn’t finish his sentence as Ben lips tightly rounded on the head and sucked him hard into his willing mouth. Ben hand shot to his own dick too as hearing Callum beg to fuck his mouth and curse like that gave him flutters in places he didn’t know _could_ flutter.

Having Callum in his mouth felt divine. As he drew his length in, his skin tasted delicious and as he pulled back, he slipped his tongue into his slit. Callum’s bucked his hips when he did and Ben only managed to get the tiniest hint of his flavour, before Callum’s dick struck the back of his throat, causing him to gag and his mouth flood with saliva. Sensing this might not take long, Ben slipped Callum out of his mouth with a dirty *pop* and told Callum to look at him. He blushed to the tips of his ears as he looked Ben in the eye, mortified but so turned on and unable to say no to whatever Ben asked. Ben was still pumping himself and Callum looked so fucking hot, face flushed, hair mussed, eyes blown, Ben realised it wouldn’t be too long for him either. He locked eyes with Callum and with his voice husky from all the work his mouth had done he simply told him “Fuck my mouth and don’t worry - I want to swallow.” The next thing he felt was Callum’s hands running through and pulling on his hair as he drew him into his mouth once more. He batted his lashes and looked up at him and was pleased that Callum was still watching him. He closed his eyes again as sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks, and hoped what Callum saw was at least as good he’d imagined. He got his answer shortly afterwards when the hips bucked again, Ben’s name and curses again dripping from Callum’s mouth and he felt hot liquid hit his throat. As he looked up, he saw Callum fallen apart and panting as the aftershocks travelled through him, lazy jerks spurting the last little dribbles of cum into Ben’s mouth. Ben was still sucking, but gently now as Callum softened, and he slipped his mouth off to kneel and take in the undone vision before him, increasing the speed on himself. He placed his thumb at his lips and drooled spunk over it, then pressed it to Callum’s lips, softly begging him to look at him. Callum, did so, and though he was still breathing heavily he sucked Ben’s spunky thumb hard into his mouth, not breaking eye contact. It was least he could do as Ben had just given him the two greatest sexual experiences of his life. He lifted his other arm and lazily rubbed and tugged at Ben’s nipple, seeing as he now knew it was a huge turn on for him, maybe Ben would like it too. It may or may not have been the trigger, but just as he touched him, Ben shot his load, hot cum jettisoning over Callum’s belly, chest and neck, and a couple of drops landing on his chin just for good measure. He took Ben’s thumb from his mouth and used it to wipe his chin before sucking it back in and Ben could do nothing now but tremble at the sight. 

Once a little steadier, Ben leaned down and grabbed the hand towel off the floor, gently cleaning up his residue from Callum before wiping himself too and drying his hand before he threw the towel back on the floor, allowing him to then collapse beside his handsome lover, entangling their legs and curling round him, tucking his head at the shoulder and resting his arm on Callum’s chest, the reality of doing it feeling a million miles better than he had only dreamed a few weeks ago.

“You okay?” Ben croaked, his throat now done in.

“More than” Callum breathed back. “I’d kiss you to say thanks, but I can’t move.”

“My prowess has paralysed you?”

“It’s a strong possibility.”

“You don’t regret it?”

There was a pause, and Ben feared he possibly did regret it, and was hoping the silence was because he’d had crashed out, but then he could feel his chest rise when he breathed so knew he wasn’t sleeping. He held his breath waiting on an answer.

Finally, Callum spoke. “No. I don’t. Not a single minute.” and he then forced himself to move, shuffling a little on his side, kissing the top of Ben’s head and placing his arm over Ben’s as it lay on his chest. Within seconds, his breathing had slowed, and his head lolled to the side, resting at the top of Ben’s. Feeling the change in rhythm and knowing Callum was asleep, seconds behind him, so was Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've already said, but please comment if you liked. It really helps motivate the next chapter. All kudos gratefully accepted too though! xx


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience as always xxx Now, how do our boys feel when they wake up?...

Callum eyes blinked slowly as he woke up, but he chose to keep them closed as he savoured a soft familiar scent that teased his nose as he breathed. He had slept well, felt warm and cosy and was sorely tempted to snuggle in closer and maybe succumb to some more sleep.

Wait. What?!

His eyes shot open to take in his surroundings and he looked down to see just what or rather who he was snuggling with. His heart rate spiked when he looked down and saw the crown of Ben’s head, his soft, light brown hair flitting ever so slightly when Callum exhaled. He could see the long lashes and how peaceful Ben looked as he slept; he felt how relaxed he was with his arm and leg draped over Callum’s body and his head tucked into Callum’s chest. He took a deep breath. 

What a difference to the last time he had woken up like this. Instead of panicking, he was happy to relax and just soak up how beautiful Ben looked, and bend to kiss the top of his head, shuffling his body ever so slightly to stretch his muscles as best he could without disturbing his sleeping partner. Ben stirred but only slightly before quickly snuffling back in to his human pillow and Callum stretched his free arm out, flexed and then wrapped it around Ben, pulling him closer and then kissing his head one more time before he did succumb to more sleep, allowing the memories of last night to wash over him as he did so.

Ben woke up and was scared to open his eyes as he didn’t want to shatter the beautiful illusion he had when woken briefly in the middle of the night. The illusion that Callum had been here, in his bed, and he could wrap himself around him and drift off somewhere warm and comforting in his mind. The illusion that had been so strong, he believed he could smell Callum’s scent on his sheets. 

Wait. What?

His eyes shot open and saw skin, felt a body beneath his arm, legs tangled in with his and strong arms around him. He looked up and saw Callum, his chin just at the top of Ben's head and he could feel snuffly exhales on his face, as Callum breathed softly in his sleep. It hadn’t been an illusion after all, and the memories of last night came flooding back, and instantly his dick was wide awake and stretching into life. He kissed Callum's side, a slow gentle press, but Callum didn't budge. He kissed again, and began to move, stretching and then he pushed himself up, scattering kisses over Callum's belly, working up to his chest, peeping to see if he was getting a response, apart from the one he could feel twitching next to his own growing dick. He saw a smile stretch over Callum’s sleepy face and so continued upwards, nibbling and sucking gently at his neck, and Callum obliged by stretching out and looking sideways to give more access, giving beautiful soft moans as he did. Ben reached his jaw and peppered kisses along it before he reached his lips and he saw Callum’s tongue slip out and wet them in anticipation. Ben was almost breathless with how stunning he looked with his hair sticking out in every direction and eyes puffy from sleep. He pressed his thumb gently on his lips, so he could gaze a few seconds more and a moan escaped his throat as Callum drew the thumb into his mouth, sucking softly, and then Ben couldn’t wait any longer, capturing those glistening lips with his own. They kissed slow and dirty and hands roamed finding each other’s dicks and they started pumping in unison. Alongside tongues, there were moans and hums being exchanged in their mouths too and they thrust lazily into each other’s hands and as the pace sped up it didn’t take long before they were both coming, Callum first and he softly puffed out Ben's name as he did and that was enough for Ben to spill shortly afterwards. 

They lay panting the afterglow, blissful and sated. Ben kissed Callum’s chest again, and leaned up to look at him again.

“Mornin'" he said and he stroked Callum’s hair off his face. 

“Mornin'" and Callum mirrored the action, running his long fingers through Ben's hair and watching as he closed his eyes and pushed his head into his hand seeking more pressure, and he sighed with pleasure when Callum gave him a little scratch. Callum laughed, looking at him behaving like a puppy. Ben opened his eyes and spoke again.

“No regrets?” 

“No regrets"

And Ben lay his head on Callum’s chest so he could listen to the contented slow thumping of his heart. 

As Callum lay with Ben on him, he stroked his fingers up and down his arm, and couldn’t quite believe the last, what?, 12 hours? Had it even been 12 hours since he was a confused straight guy, to now feeling like the most contented man in the world, lying fully sated with this gorgeous bloke wrapped around him. He spoke first now.

“Actually, I do have one regret.”

He felt Ben's body tense slightly in his arms. 

“Yeah?” Ben's voice was unsure.

“That the last time I woke up in this bed, with you beside me like this, I panicked and ran, locking myself in the bathroom and was just so grateful you slept on. If I’d known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have moved an inch!” 

Ben’s head shot up. “The last time, WHAT?!”

“I wasn’t sure if you remembered anything from that night” Callum was laughing.

Ben was fully alert now, and he pounced, lying on top of Callum pinning his arms again above his head. “What night?! _That_ night?! Tell me _now_ what happened! Don't make me torture you!”

Callum laughed again and teased. “I think if you _wanted_ to remember you would have by now…”

Ben growled a warning “Callum?”

“What?” he answered with an air of innocence, and he batted his lashes. 

“Tell me!” Ben’s voice had lost it’s growl and now was high pitched in disbelief. 

Callum belly laughed and Ben couldn’t stand it as he wanted to inflate his outrage but the deep guffawing from Callum was too infectious, so he decided to change tack and kissed Callum on the cheek, repeatedly, slow and deliberate, moving towards his mouth, gambling that Callum’s big laughs would subside at the chance of a smooch and he was right. Ben then took full advantage, kissing him softly, with a closed mouth, only briefly slipping his tongue out to swipe over Callum’s lips. He put on his best puppy eyes and then pouted while still administering the kisses and little licks.

“Please tell me, Cal. You were so lovely to me that day, so caring and I know I never thanked you properly.” He paused every couple of words to deposit even more kisses but finished the sentence with a final lick over his lips.

A heavily dimpled smile was still on Callum’s face when he gave in and, leaving out the part about almost kissing him, he related to Ben how he’d passed out on the couch and so Callum had taken the bed alone but woken up to their bodies tangled together and a harder than usual morning glory. He blushed relating that part, but given he was lying naked and pinned beneath an equally naked Ben, who had blown his mind and balls three times since last night, he didn’t see the point in being overly coy. 

Ben was devastated and dropped his head dramatically on Callum’s chest, softly pounding his fists and kicking his feet crying “Nooooooo! You _were_ here! I thought I was dreaming but you were here! In my bed and... that's IT!! I’m never drinking whisky again!!”

Callum huffed, although he still grinning from ear to ear and he flipped Ben over before he sat up and swung his legs and placed his feet on the floor. “You always this much of a diva?” he asked, standing and pulling on his boxers.

“I may be known a little for my artistic temperament, yes.” Ben replied, now lying on his side, grinning with his head leaning on his hand and a leg up, bent at the knee and he was pushing his hips forward, showing off the goods, but Callum just laughed and headed for the door. A look of horror crept over Ben’s face. “Eh, excuse me! Where ya think ya going? Without even a-?” and he flopped dramatically back on the bed, eyes closed, hand on his forehead, whimpering, “Pumped and dumped; tossed aside, like an old, unbeloved queen. Not even worth a kiss goodbye…” 

There were a few seconds silence before he peeked one eye open, to see if Callum was still there. He was, standing with his arms folded and a straight face.

“You quite finished, Mariah?”

Ben look puckered his lips for a kiss. “Almost?”

Callum laughed and bent over to kiss him, and Ben grabbed him, pulling him down, flipping him and soon he was over him again, pinning as before and he kissed him, passionately, then letting go of his hold so Callum could grab him and pull him in tighter. Callum soon flipped Ben over, and stood up. “I'm leaving the room now. Is that okay?!” Ben eyes roamed over him like he was food, biting his lip. “Only if you promise to put the kettle on and take the boxers off.” Callum rolled his eyes and wandered away. 

By the time Ben padded through to the kitchen in boxers and a tee-shirt, Callum had busied himself making coffee, and was now studying the contents of the fridge. “When was the last time you went to the shops Ben?”

Ben walked over, kissing his cheek and squeezing his bum before just shrugging and pouring himself coffee. “You worked up an appetite?” he said, grinning and raising an eyebrow. 

Callum blushed and smiled in response, closed the fridge door and took a sip of his coffee.

Ben spoke again “There’s a burger van round the corner at weekend – does amazing bacon rolls.”

“Sounds good"

“I’ll take two please, brown sauce"

Callum gave him a puzzled look.

“It’s your turn, Callum. Left at the end of the car park. Can’t miss it.” and he noisily slurped at his coffee.

Callum was still puzzled, but just shrugged and asked if Ben had a tee-shirt that was too big for him that he could borrow, to which Ben feigned offence before laughing before he walked back in and threw him a Rocky Horror tee-shirt. 

“Eh, no Marvel tees then?”

“No, sorry, but I’ve got a Priscilla one if you’d prefer?”

“Ah, no, you’re alright with this one. Thank you, though!”

Ben had stayed wrapped in just a towel after his shower and when Callum arrived back with breakfast and saw him, he couldn't believe his dick was stirring again. Ben knew exactly what he was doing, as he was at the breakfast bar, straddling the stool like he was riding a horse, waiting for him with a lascivious smile, but Callum just laughed and threw the bag with his food over, rolling his eyes again. He sat beside him and they chewed in peaceable silence, or at least Callum did. Ben meanwhile was trying to get Callum's attention by moaning every time he took a bite, using his thumb to seductively wipe his lip, noisily sucking it, and smacking his lips when he removed it, deliberately exaggerating every movement and noise. When he'd finished he scrunched up the bag, slowly licking each of his fingertips clean, telling Callum to get his kecks off and lie on the couch. Callum looked at him a bit taken aback. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, just that everything was beginning to seem very real and he was a bundle of nerves. Ben laughed but reassured him. “You don’t have to, but I thought it'd be nice, we can hang out, have a laze and you can introduce me to the marvels of Marvel.” Callum relaxed a little, but eyed Ben still in his towel. “Don’t panic. I’ll jump into my boxers and a teeshirt. And if you can scooch down enough, I’ll even let you be the little spoon.” And he winked, and Callum’s stomach did a little somersault. 

When Ben came back in Callum was now also in just a teeshirt and his boxers, but was sitting awkwardly on the couch. Ben’s breath hitched to see him. His hair floppy, his blue eyes big and round, alert like they were looking for danger, but most importantly his legs were spread flat as he sat, the little bruises where Ben had marked him last night clearly visible and Ben had to bite his lip to stop himself leaping over the back of the sofa and biting those wonderous thighs all over again. He said “Okay then, so I get those gorgeous thighs as a pillow then? I warn you though, I’ll probably have those legs marked even more and your dick in my mouth before the opening credits are done.” Callum laughed, embarrassed and pulled himself up to lie flat, while Ben clambered over him to be the big spoon as promised, grabbing the remote and asking the name of the one with Chris Helmsworth and the big hammer. 

“Thor." said Callum, rolling his eyes.

“Not yet, but I’m hoping to be later" Ben replied, heartily laughing at his own joke. 

Callum grumbled and muttered “Low key Ben, you should stick to dancing.” Ben looked at him blankly and pressed play. 

It didn’t take long and Ben was seriously annoying Callum. It had started off well enough, their legs tangled together and both cosy, Ben with his arm wrapped over Callum who held his hand to his chest, but then the questions started. “Who's he?” “Is he a bad guy.” “Is that Tom Hiddleston?” “Is that, is that Idris Elba?! Phwoar! I would watched these a lot sooner if-"

“But you’re not watching Ben. You’re talking!”

“Excuse me, I’m tryin' to _learn_.”

“Ask when it's over!”

Ben huffed back to face the TV but he was feeling a little mischievous now, so his hand left Callum’s and wandered up the inside of his teeshirt, just gently tracing shapes over his skin. Callum’s breath hitched initially, but then Ben felt him relax and lean back, melting into him and allowing freer access. He couldn’t help himself and placed a kiss on Callum’s head, and he gratefully received a little wiggle as Callum tried to sink into him a little bit further, and it wasn’t long after that Ben heard what sounded like purring coming from Callum. He peeked over to see his face and saw Callum was dozing, and the purrs being little snores. He flattened his hand out and pressed it on Callum’s chest, and leaned his head on his. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. Well, he could but it was such a long time ago, it didn’t really matter anymore. It wasn't even that Callum had taken to sex like a duck to water and Ben was therefore sated and still wrapped up in this luxurious post-coital haze. He had only been with one other person who made him want to snuggle. His first. Since then, he didn’t _do_ snuggling, but here he was, physically and emotionally entangled with this tall, dark and handsome man who was snoozing in his arms and purring like a kitten. He would deny it to anyone who dared ask, but he was completely smitten and it wasn't long before he too dozed off.

Callum roused first. He was on his back and Ben was half on him, asleep. Callum whispered his name a couple of times and stroked the back of his head and he soon blinked awake. As he looked up, the first thing he saw was Callum gazing at his lips with darkened eyes and then gesturing with his head that he should shuffle up, which he did without hesitation, Callum’s hand still on the back of his head. They held each other’s gaze for a long minute, before Callum pulled him down and their lips pressed together, soft and slow, and they lay just kissing, taking their time to gently explore each other; mouths with tongues and bodies with fingertips. A satisfied and beautiful soft moan escaped Ben's throat and Callum broke the kiss momentarily to catch his breath and Ben took the opportunity to nuzzle and tenderly kiss his neck. On a slow exhale Callum, with his voice so low, the tone dampened with desire, whispered to Ben “The noises you make when we’re kissing are so fucking sexy..” and then he made some hot noises himself as Ben began to suck gently on his neck and pushed his leg in-between his to give him something to rut against as he bucked his hips. Ben stopped his suckling on Callum’s neck to look at him, brushing his hair off his forehead, his eyes just absorbing the sight before him. “It can't be anywhere near as sexy as the noises you make. Especially when you fucking swear.” Callum belly laughed as his cheeks began to pink, but as quickly as his laugh began, it stopped as Ben begged lustily in his ear, “Make me moan again, baby" and the air crackled between them. Callum urgently pulled him back to his lips and there was nothing soft and slow about the kiss this time. 

They hungrily devoured one another, as if they hadn’t had nourishment an age. Shirts and shorts were clawed off and hastily disposed, and hands roamed fast, urgently seeking to pleasure the other, desperate to do things they knew would elicit the sounds that they knew would also get themselves off. Hums, mewls, moans, and grunts filled the air as they writhed, bodies sticking, tacky with sweat. With a heavy thump and two loud “ooooofs” their frantic exertions rolled them off the couch but as they landed on the floor they didn’t stop for breath or even laugh at the humour of it, they were so lost in their passion for each other. 

Ben came first. Callum had completely forgotten himself and breathed a wish heavily in his ear that he wanted to fuck him. It had made Ben catch his breath and he couldn’t hold himself back, coming hard in Callum's hand, crying out his name and digging stubby nails into his back, greedily gulping in air as his body shuddered. He was undone, and as the lights had exploded behind his eyes, he faltered in his hold on Callum, who then knelt up, taking hold of himself and working his dick hard, mesmerised at the mess of Ben lying before him, and knowing he was responsible for the wreckage. Ben opened his eyes, trying to recover himself but was presented with the sight of Callum falling apart in front of him, hair floppy and bouncing wildly, faced flushed and eyes blown wide at what he saw. Ben noticed his stomach twitch inwards just a little, and guessed it was maybe a little tell, which was confirmed when moments later Callum shot hot bursts of cum all over him. Callum sank back, still working himself through the climax and Ben took his middle finger collecting some of Callum's cum from his torso before he licked and sucked the digit, closing his eyes and pushing his head back, still in the throes of ecstasy. The vision finished Callum and he dropped on the floor beside Ben, both men completely spent.

****

They pulled up to the studio, freshly scrubbed – again – grinning like idiots; smiles they couldn’t wipe if their lives depended on it. They drifted through wardrobe and make-up, all soft glances and deliberate brushes of hands or shoulders, heart eyes everywhere, both looking at the other as though he’d hung the moon and stars. They were cocooned in that honeymoon bubble of the very first flush of romance, where although they could greet colleagues with ‘hi’s” and “good thanks, how are you’s”, they were actually oblivious to everyone and everything but each other. It obviously didn’t go unnoticed – not just by members of the LBFC, but everyone in their vicinity. What previously might have been brief and idle speculation by runners or camera operators, who had seen enough Strictly hook-ups not to care anymore, was now hot gossip spreading like wildfire backstage. Johannes theatrically swooned on to Oti, seemingly distraught. 

“Why are you so upset?!” Oti asked, a little perplexed. “You knew they fancied the pants off each other. What did you think would happen when they finally figured it out?”

“Look at Bin!” he cried woefully. 

“You knew he was smitten!”

“Before, yes. But this is _Bin_. If he’s still besotted after hooking up with him… It must mean… It means that Callum is really _good”_ and he gave her a wink before resuming his devastation and wailing dramatically. Oti burst out laughing and pulled him into a consoling tight hug. 

It was a very different couple to the night before that now stood on the staircase as everyone awaited their fate. Where they had been awkwardly standing apart yesterday, today they couldn’t now be closer. Ben was standing on the very edge of the step behind Callum who was as far back on his step as was possible. It ensured as much of their bodies were touching as possible and Ben’s hand on Callum’s shoulder was safely covered by the taller man’s own, while their free hands clasped together at the other side. They were present in body only though. Their minds were somewhere else entirely, somewhere quite wonderful, if the dreamy smiles on their faces were anything to go by. 

Tess went through the names of the couples through to the next round and it was a surprise to all that Shakil and Karen were the first couple who were going to have to dance again. The usual VT filler was shown and then the other couples still waiting reassembled and the crowd audibly gasped when it was whittled down to two couples, one of whom would be facing Shakil and Karen - Chantelle and Johannes stood on one side of the staircase, and velcroed together on the other side, still in dreamland, stood Ben and Callum. Tess soon announced Chantelle and Johannes were safely through to the next week, meaning of course that Ben and Callum were in their second dance-off of the series. You wouldn’t have thought it to look at them though. Wherever their minds were, it was untouched by this unfortunate turn of events. 

Why they were in the dance-off, no-one could work out, although Craig alluded with distain that it could possibly have been the topic of the dance, and he admitted their performance had been flawless, and that he was now regretting not given them a perfect 10. Shirley was just as regretful and was very vocal that it was a travesty they were there. None of the judges had anything really to coach them on, all just advising to dance as they had, and not allow the fact they had to dance again affect their performance.

The two men had looked interested in what was being said, offering serious nods and appropriate thank you’s, but whether they had actually heard or absorbed anything, well, it was anyone’s guess, but Tess did remark that they both seemed remarkably unbothered and calm. 

They stood backstage while Shakil and Karen danced again, but they weren’t truly watching. They stood tightly together, holding hands and whispered conspiratorially, making promises of what they would do to each other if they made it through. Callum leaned to Ben and asked, “What will we do if we don’t make it through?” Ben grinned back saying “Well, I could do to you what you want to do to me and vice versa…” Callum swallowed hard and huffed a laugh, “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Ben bit his lip. “Well, you know what you need to do then.” and with a quick glance around to check they were alone, he placed a kiss full of promise on Callum’s slightly parted lips.

Incredibly, the dance second time around, was like a different dance altogether. The shift in their relationship to each other adding another level of magic. All their steps were exactly the same as the previous night, but the connection between the two dancers now had the audience holding their breath in awe. As the dance ended and they clambered onto the chandelier, Ben whispered to Callum “You better kiss me like you did last night – this dance ain’t over until we’re off this thing.” As soon as they were out of sight of the audience, Callum did exactly what he was told and by the time the stagehands were thumping along the platform, it wasn’t just the dance that was now supercharged. They were quickly manhandled off the apparatus and ran to the steps, but again Ben put his hand out to stop Callum. “I think this was maybe the bit we got wrong last night” he said, eyes dark. "We need a perfect score." Their mouths were still wet from the previous kiss, and their lips crashed together, hungry again for more, and conscious that they had limited time. They lapped, slurped and moaned quickly, cramming in what satisfaction they could before they had to descend the stairs. They pulled apart, foreheads together and panting and Ben rasped “You are so fucking good at this, you have no idea.” A stagehand shot over to get them to move, and whispered urgently to inform them , “Neither of you have any idea, they turned your fucking mics on when you should have been running down the stairs!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter - let me know! Kudos and comments always welcome... Thank you! 🥰❤️


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Sunday posting again. 😐 It's not super long either - I feel I lost my way with it in the last couple of weeks, or maybe it was more that I'm nervous I haven't done Callum proper justice with what he's going through, but I found a way to re-focus again so hope you enjoy this chapter and still look forward to more dancing capers with the boys next week. 
> 
> (Hopefully I've picked up on all the typos too... 😀)

Callum reeled back like he’d been shot when he heard the stagehand’s words, instantly releasing his hold on Ben. He cringed when he saw a flash of hurt in Ben’s eyes but when Ben questioned his reaction by calling out his name, he went into full panic mode, flapping his arms and signing “shush” as he pointed frantically at Ben’s mic. It was the first time Callum had blushed before him and Ben didn't find it attractive. He turned to the stairs taking Callum's hand but it was quickly snatched back and it was no flash of hurt in Ben's eyes now, but full pain casting a shadow over the normally vibrant blue of his eyes as he stood forlornly looking at his dance partner. “We need to move. Now.” he said flatly and Callum nodded, starting to move, but before they descended Ben stood in front, mouthed “Act!” using his hands to gesture a large fake smile. 

As they reached Tess, both had huge smiles plastered over their faces but both of them looked dead in their eyes and they were greeted with Tess grimacing awkwardly. She immediately explained to camera there had been an issue with Ben’s mic and apologised profusely that they heard him swear. Ben feigned horror, also apologising but explaining that his mic got caught on the chandelier and was also caught up in his costume and there was big to-do trying to get it released and they were panicking and the story went on and on and then he was just so relieved when it was fixed and didn’t realise it was on and had he said already that he was so relieved and so he’d been very cheeky to the stagehand etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Tess then stepped in again, desperately trying to get _off_ the topic now, and she quickly brought back Shakil and Karen, who were obviously stifling laughter as they stood with their arms around each other, facing the judges. Ben moved to put his arm round Callum, but he ducked out, behaving like Melania when her husband tries to take her hand. He stretched up, then outward, moving around and then standing about three feet away from Ben, with his hands on his hips, long arms with elbows pointing outward, ensuring nothing within the radius could touch him. 

It was a hard decision for the judges, but Craig summed it up by saying he hadn’t thought Ben and Callum could have brought anything extra to the dance, but they had, and in spades, saying he’d never seen an Argentine Tango so graceful that could be compared to a ballet before, but they had delivered just that this evening. He added although Shakil and Karen’s performance had been flawless, it had to Ben and Callum that he would save - they had simply elevated their dance to another level. Unfortunately for the young tennis player, all the other judges agreed wholeheartedly, and so Ben and Callum were saved again, although if Callum was pleased, he’d forgotten to tell his face.

As soon as the cameras stopped rolling, Callum ran off, while Simon the producer stormed over to Ben. “You and him, my office, first thing!” Ben threw a “Whatever” behind him as he went after Callum.

He found him in their dressing room, frantically scrolling through his phone. “Callum?”

“Not now, Ben. This is a disaster.” And Callum kept scrolling. 

Ben replied quietly, asking “Disaster?”

“I knew it. I knew it! They heard _everything_!. Oh God!” Callum was almost wailing.

“Callum?”

“WHAT?!” was the roar Ben received in reply. 

Unbeknownst to them, there were a couple of eavesdroppers outside the door, as Chantelle and Johannes _happened to be passing_ and had stopped when they heard Callum’s raised voice. 

“What’s going on?” Ben’s voice was still quiet, and he wasn’t masking his hurt very well.

“What’s going on?! The whole internet is talking about us having sex – that’s what’s going on!”

“Well, I don’t know how to break this to you, Cal, but what we did twice last night, once this morning and once this afternoon… well…muchacho, that was sex.” 

When he’d finished speaking he pulled his face into an awkward smile, as Callum just stared at him. Outside the door Johannes leaned silently into Chantelle, mouthing “I _knew_ it!” Inside, Ben spoke again “Really good sex, Callum.” Johannes looked like he was about to have a fit.

“Don’t be facetious Ben, you know what I mean.”

“No, Callum. I don’t know what you mean. Why are you being like this? Those rumours have been circulating for weeks now, why is it a problem now?”

“Not like this. They think, the noises. Ugh. They’re saying _I_ was… well not kissing your mouth. It’s so embarrassing.”

Ben felt like Callum had plunged a knife in him and he lashed out. “Embarr- You didn’t seem this embarrassed last night when you were not kissing my mouth but on your knees but telling me just how much you needed to taste me.” Johannes outside was now biting his fist.

“Ben! Shut up!”

Ben did shut up for a moment, taking a deep sigh. He moved to sit beside Callum, but before he had a chance, Callum shifted, this time like he’d been stung, unaware that that was exactly what he’d just done to Ben. Ben stayed standing and was trying his best not to show how much this was all hurting him, just storing the feeling to use it later – to remind himself this is why he just fucked and then fucked off. But for the moment, he regained his composure and tried again to soothe his dance partner. “Look Cal, this isn’t the ideal place to talk about this. Come back to the flat tonight, we can talk it over. Or we can go to yours if that’s more comfortable for you. I’ll sleep on your sofa or you can kick me out. I won’t mind. Maybe that’s what we should’ve just done last night, but you need to talk about this. I told you – I’ve been where you are. I know how hard it is coming out.”

“I have talked about it. Ugh, this is really is so embarrassing. I don’t _want_ to talk about it anymore! Look, I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“A mistake? You think I’m an embarrassing mistake?” Ben's voice was high and frantic again. 

Johannes was just about crying at the door hearing all this, but Chantelle now was pulling him away whispering “We shouldn’t be listening to this.”

Callum was silent in response to the question, so Ben continued, but his voice was a whisper now. “Is that really what last night meant to you?"

Callum’s shoulders dropped, he shook his head, and Ben heard him sniff. “Callum?”

“No” was the broken reply. 

Ben moved to sit again, but this time asked if it was okay. Callum nodded, but his head was still bowed. Ben sat and gently placed his hand on Callum’s arm, wanting to touch him, console him, but not wanting to panic him either. He needn’t have worried as Callum fell into him, weeping onto his shoulder, putting his arms around his waist. Ben wrapped his arms tightly around Callum's shoulders in return, whispering promises that everything would be alright. 

They stayed in the little room until they were sure everyone had gone before leaving themselves and heading to their cars, their hands brushed, and Callum hooked his pinky with Ben’s and Ben's stomach somersaulted at this tender touch. They both leaned against their respective cars and chatted, neither really wanting to leave the other. Ben asked Callum what he wanted to do, and offered to follow him home, again promising to sleep on the sofa. “Just so you have some company.” Callum cracked his first smile since the end of the dance, telling Ben to behave, as they both knew that wouldn’t happen. “I maybe need to be on my own tonight though, it’s been a crazy 24 hours.” They both laughed shyly and Ben nodded that he understood. “Message me if you want to talk though. Or just message. Whatever you need, but Cal,..” Ben paused as he heard Callum’s breath hitch, and he wondered why. The reason was that Callum’s tummy doubled flipped at being called Cal again. The way Ben said it was like his kryptonite and he doubted he could ever tell him, because if he did, it would be game over and he knew he would be lost to him entirely. Ben reached out and gently held Callum’s fingers with his own. “Cal, you’ve probably felt alone all your life, but you don’t have to do that anymore.” Ben then made the ultimate sacrifice. “Even if it’s not me, don’t be alone with this if you don’t have to be.” Callum smiled weakly and gently nodded his head. Ben then cupped his other hand on Callum’s cheek. “I’d like it to be me, though.” and he smiled, though it was tinged with sadness, turning and getting his car. He rolled the window down before he drove off, just to let Callum know to take the next day off. “We’ve got Cha-Cha-Cha next weekend. Four days training will be enough for your magical twinkle toes.”

When Ben got home, he went straight to bed, feeling more than a little forlorn. He stared at his phone, willing it to life, but it just lay with it’s black screen, treacherously silent. He flicked on the TV to watch their dance back, trying to resist going on social media to see exactly what people were saying – it had become something of a guilty pleasure of his, scrolling through tweets, secretly enjoying people speculating that he was getting a piece of Callum. And Jesus! What a piece he'd turned out to be. Goddammit, he was hooked and just didn’t want to walk away. Callum’s reaction _had_ wounded him earlier, but his besotted heart easily rationalised this now; Callum had panicked, of course he did, being outed less than 24hrs after his first gay experience and it was totally understandable that he would lash out. He just wished he would text, let him know he was okay, but as he toyed with it between his hands his phone was still stubbornly silent. He knew he should probably leave him alone and let him work this out by himself, but Ben felt a bit sorry for himself too and so selfish thoughts were being plead in his busy head. He just wanted to be with him. Hold him and be held by him. Tell him the truth – that it was hard, but that things would get better and it would be okay, because whatever happened, he wouldn’t have to lie to himself anymore. He unlocked his phone and tapped out and deleted a message about three times. At the fourth time of typing, his finger hovered over the send button. 

Callum meanwhile was also restless and couldn’t get to sleep. He already had five missed calls from his brother demanding to know what was going on and he’d ignored every one, instead doing the one thing he shouldn’t have and going back on social media. It wasn't bad, in fact it was quite positive, people loving the idea of them together, but…it wasn’t fiction anymore. Any denial he issued now would be a lie. He felt lost, lying in bed alone with no idea how he was going to navigate all this. He picked up his phone, debating whether to message Mick, get some more advice from his “pride dad", but as wonderful as Mick had been to him, the most comfort he had ever felt in his life had been last night, and he couldn't deny it to himself anymore - from the minute he'd met him, he just couldn't get Ben out his head. He unlocked his phone, opening the messaging app but before he even struck a key, a new message blinked through. 

_“Hey, r u okay? x”_

Callum smiled, the butterflies tickling his stomach.

“ _I think I'd maybe I'd like some company.”_

_“Anyone in mind? ;) x"_

_“Maybe._ _It would just be for company tho.. :/”_

_“I know just the guy! x"_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah, 20mins? x"_

_“You sure it's okay?”_

_“Shut up. Omw x"_

_“K_ _x”_

Ben was delighted to at last receive that little bloody 'x' at the end of at least one message and as good as his word, 20 minutes later was at Callum’s door and when Callum pulled it open, Ben ensured he was greeted by shining bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile to light up his night. Sadly it only acted as a trigger for the stress of the evening overcame poor Callum and he burst into tears. Ben quickly wrapped his arms around him, cooing soothingly in his ear, as Callum's head dropped on his shoulder as he sobbed. They stood like that for a few moments, before Callum gathered himself together and took a breath. 

“Erm, wow. Sorry! I wasn’t expecting that to happen.” 

“S'alright. You’ve been on a bit of rollercoaster. C'mon. You look like you could use a hot chocolate.”

Callum snuffled a laugh and led Ben through his living room into the kitchen, where he grabbed some kitchen roll and noisily blew his nose. He threw the tissue in the bin and washed his hands. 

“Now," said Ben. "If I was a gambling man I’d say you don't waste time with any of that instant hot water muck, so where's your pots so I can warm up some milk.”

“How do you know I like hot chocolate and only the good stuff?” 

“Stands to reason, dunnit? Dark, smooth, velvety and best served with whipped cream.” He couldn't help but flirt with the man before him as he just wanted to make him laugh, smile, relax. He just wanted to make things better. Although just a little, Callum did laugh, smile and relax, saying to Ben simply, “You’re so daft.”

Ben cupped Callum's reddening face in his hand. ‘I’ll be anything if it makes you smile. Now, those pots?” 

Drinks made, they sat in living room, chatting a little awkwardly at first, but gradually they both chilled out a little, creeping closer to each other on the sofa, leaning out with little reassuring touches and before long Ben had just given in to their magnetism saying “C'mere" and Callum’s shoulders had visibly relaxed, as if it was the instruction he had been praying for. He gratefully leaned in, soothed by the timbre of Ben's voice vibrating from the smaller man’s chest to his ear. Ben ran his fingers through Callum’s floppy hair and talked more about his past, and his coming out journey, promising not to sugar coat it, but explaining just how much better it is to live knowing you are being your true self. “You can lie and deny to everyone but yourself.” Callum felt cocooned in safety, Ben's tender touches and strokes acting as a tranquiliser, and in return to Ben's honesty, he now poured his heart out to him, all the pain of his childhood, his fear of his dad, that his brother loved him but just wouldn't “get" it and also his anxiety about how it would affect his career. He talked about Whitney, surprising Ben with his confession about what they had fought about, and he then surprised him even more when he told where he’d been on the Thursday night. Ben was truly taken aback by this, and hated that Callum had been going through such turmoil on his own and that he had been too wrapped up in his own feelings to really notice, and he bent his head to let it rest on top of Callum’s, placing a kiss there first. He cringed a little when Callum related that Mick had said that they all could see how much he was crushing on his tall dance partner, but he quickly rationalised it by telling himself that they’d all climb Callum like a tree if they had half a chance. He began to feel a little dampness seep into his tee-shirt while Callum was talking, and knowing it was tears broke his heart, but he kept quiet knowing Callum had to talk this out. Well, he kept quiet until he sensed Callum getting himself tied in knots again after he admitted how disappointed he was that they didn’t get to stay in their little bubble of the first flush if whatever this was, if it was anything, and why wasn’t he allowed to be happy even just for a minute and why did people rush to force labels on things, and, and, and… Ben stopped him now, shushing him, lifting his head up between his hands and looking into the beautifully sad cobalt blue eyes. “You don’t have to label anything, you don’t even have to say or explain anything. Let your feet do the talking for now. The show will support you too and keep the hounds at bay.” He gave a knowing laugh, “Publically at least.” The corner of Callum's mouth twitched upwards, and Ben just wanted to kiss him, kiss it better, but he resisted as making Callum feel safe, and feel safe with him was more important. In lieu of kissing, he stroked his cheek. “But the thing about happiness Cal.” Callum quivered again at this special pet name, “You can’t be happy til you accept yourself.” Callum gave a slow, sorry nod and sniffed. “I know.” he said, before he was overcome by a sudden ninja yawn. Ben chuckled, and told him, “Right, you, bed! C'mon, and you can show me where your blankets are.” 

They walked to Callum’s bedroom, Ben opening the door then standing back. “I'm a man of my word.” Callum took his hand saying “I know, but I don’t think I want to sleep alone tonight. Would it be okay? y'know… if we just…?” 

“What? Just lie in bed holding the most gorgeous man in London? I’d like that. Very much.” 

As they lay, wrapped in each other arms, their night very different to the one previous, Callum was still a bit restless, wriggling and huffing slightly. 

“What’s on your mind babe?” Ben asked sleepily. 

“Nothing, it’s daft.”

“Cal?” and Ben moved, propping himself up.

“Goodnight kiss.”

“You're a soppy git“ he grinned and he leaned in, hovering over Callum’s lips, gazing softly into his eyes as he threaded his fingers through his hair. 

“Hi"

“Hi"

Ben closed the gap between them, pressing his lips gently, gratefully accepting the little hum that escaped from Callum’s mouth as thanks, and it encouraged him to press a bit longer than he'd intended. When he did eventually break away, Callum looked blissed out, eyes closed and lips puckered and Ben couldn’t resist dropping a couple more kisses on to the beautiful and expectant lips before he just hovered again, admiring the view. Callum opened his eyes and blushed under the gaze.

“You good now, babe?”

Callum nodded, mumbling a “mmmhmm", closing his eyes and rubbing his head into Ben’s chest. Within seconds Ben heard the difference in his breathing and knew he had finally dozed off. 

When Callum woke in the morning he felt like he was missing a limb, as he lay in bed alone. Straining to listen, he heard a door slam followed by banging and thumping from his kitchen, so guessed Ben was still here, and it made him smile. He padded through and was greeted with a fresh brewed coffee and smile that made his heart beat faster. 

“Morning sleepyhead!” Ben said, leaning in for a kiss and Callum automatically responded, as if this is what they did every morning. “How you feeling?” and there was genuine concern in his eyes. 

“Better. Thanks to you.” 

Ben playfully scoffed, as if to say it was nothing. “Right, I got breakfast, but thankfully didn’t have to leave it on your bloody doorstep, as you weren’t out all night cheating on me with Mick bloody Carter this time, so sit and I’ll even put it on a plate for you.” 

“It WAS you!” 

“What?!” Ben replied, feigning innocence. 

“My breakfast fairy. Wait, no, sorry! I’m not calling you a fairy! I mean, I dunno, my breakfast elf? But you owe me for new trainers!”

“Excuse me?”

“I kicked the coffee over my foot, it was soaked!” 

“I’ll make it up to you babe. Just say the word.” Callum gulped as he saw Ben’s eyes darken, and Ben picked up on it immediately apologising. “I’m just flirting Cal, I can’t help it around you.” He gave a wink before turning away and plating up the breakfast, to give them both a minute to recover. 

When he turned back around, he told Callum he had to head out soon. “I’ve got a meeting with my agent, but I meant what I said last night – take the day off and chill. We can bite the bullet tomorrow.” Callum’s face fell and Ben was quick to reassure him “Babe, it’ll be okay. I promise, and I’ll come over and go in with you, if you want, or not if you think that’ll make it worse. However you want to play it, but you can’t stay hidden away forever. In a manner of speaking…” and he couldn’t help but give his flirty smile again. 

“It’s not that” Callum said. “You not coming back today?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I thought we could maybe continue your Marvel education?” 

“Even though I ask too many questions?” and as he finished asking he watched as Callum flushed from underneath his tee-shirt, his eyes chasing as it spread up past his cheeks to the tips of his ears. “You okay Cal?” The ‘Cal’ only deepened the shade of red. 

“I can maybe practice some shutting you up techniques?” he managed to stutter. 

“Oh yeah? Well!" and he scratched his chin for a moment. "I think you need quite a lot of practice there, so I’ll head back as quick as I can for you. Do you, eh, care to show me a bit of your technique before I go?” and he lowered his head to look at him sweetly from under his lashes. He could play demure if it was needed. 

Callum face broke into a megawatt smile and he moved towards him, using his finger to lift Ben’s chin, and he gazed for a moment into his eyes before ghosting a kiss, giving a swift little lick of Ben’s lips with his tongue, before pressing their lips together chastely. It lasted barely a second, but it was full of promise and he heard Ben’s breath hitch as he leaned their foreheads together. Ben took a breath and then said “Nothing much wrong with that technique to be honest, but I’d break your door down for more practice later.” and then he gave a long exhale. 

****

A little while later, it did sound like someone was trying to break his door down. Callum laughed as he walked the hallway, calling out “You don’t _have_ to break the door down y’know! I have every intention of letting you in!” His face fell when he opened the door though. 

“Stuart?!”

**** 

Ben, of course, hadn’t any meeting with his agent. He knew Simon the producer had wanted to see both of them, but Callum didn’t need any more pressure. Ben admitted to himself that _he_ wouldn’t have known what to do if he’d been outed less than 24hrs after his first true experience, and he was sure the fact that Callum was older didn’t necessarily mean it would be any easier. Quite possibly it made it worse. He was more than prepared for battle when he pulled up to studio, and he knew exactly how the fight would go. Simon was just too predictable. He wasn’t wrong and half an hour later Ben left, and Simon was defeated, again. Ben had purposely left the office door open when he left, laughing as he walked away knowing it would only further enrage the producer who lived his life on the edge of apoplexy anyway. He was right about that too and Simon nearly took the door from his hinges as he slammed it shut, yelling “These fucking dancers and celebrities think this show revolves around them!!” A couple of the lackeys just side-eyed each other, a non verbal conversation wondering just who Simon _did_ think the show revolved around, if it wasn’t the celebs and dancers? 

*****

On his way back to Callum’s Ben had stopped at a supermarket and so had a bag full of crisps, popcorn and assorted other movie snacks ready for their afternoon. As his free hand knocked the door, he held the bag up, ready for presentation, but Callum seemed to be taking his time answering. He put his ear up to door and was sure he could hear raised voices. He knocked again, this time urgent and continuous as the voices got louder. The door eventually flung open and Ben reeled back as he saw a huge and very angry bald man appear. “You’re right Callum” he roared back into the hallway. “I probably should go now your _boyfriend_ is ‘ere.” Callum then came into Ben’s view and he looked so angry Ben almost didn’t recognise him. “D’ye know what Stuart – he ain’t my boyfriend. He’s my dance partner, but I’m gonna have his dick in my mouth before you even start your car. Eh? How do you like them apples?! I never thought I’d ever say this to you but Stuart – you…, you’re just like dad!”

It was the large bald man’s turn to reel back this time. He looked genuinely crushed and when he spoke it was in a whisper. “Callum?” 

“Get outta my house Stuart” Callum spat back and he hauled Ben in with one hand as he shoved Stuart out with the other. “I’ve got dick to suck” and he slammed the door. 

Ben was almost speechless. Almost. 

“How do you like them apples?!” It was a gamble and he held his breath waiting on Callum’s reaction. Fortunately, the gamble paid off and although it didn’t quite meet his eyes, Callum face did break out in a smile. “Ugh, he just got me so angry.”

“So I see. D’ye wanna talk about it? Or d’ye want me to go and give you some time to yourself?” 

“No, and no. I’ll get round to talking about it once I’ve calmed down and I don’t mean to be so needy, but I really don’t want to be on my own with my thoughts right now. Is that okay?” 

“Course it is. Look at all the snacks I brought. There is one thing though.”

“Yeah?”

“It just, well, not to be immodest, but I can be a bit of a snack meself and, well, I think I can hear your brother’s key in the ignition…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, all kudos and kind comments welcome 😘🥰 ❤️🌹


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a slightly shorter update, but honestly, I'm having so much trouble getting them out the bedroom 🤣 (take this as warning it's all smut) I'm aiming to get them back in studio for the next update and back to what they do second best...

Callum hadn’t responded but he was making eye contact with him, however Ben couldn’t read what his eyes were saying and that, along with the silence was making him itchy.

“I was kidding, babe. Just…, you're all riled up. It's hot." He scratched his eyebrow nervously and shrugged. “Look, I’ll, eh, put these in the kitchen, shall I?” and he skirted around a still silent and unreadable Callum. 

As he opened and closed cupboard doors, taking out bowls to fill with the goodies from the shopping bag, he became aware that Callum had followed him through and was now leaning on the door frame, watching him. No, not watching. _Observing_ him. It felt strange - he’d never really experienced anything like moment before; he was always the predator, never the prey, but Callum losing it with his brother, seemed to have shifted their dynamic a full 180°. It was unnerving but he found himself incredibly turned on. “You okay, babe?” he asked acting nonchalant, but his mouth was dry and he could feel his heart beating out his chest. 

“Yeah.” And then after a pause he said “You look good doing that.”

Ben felt butterflies. What the fuck was going on?! He dryly swallowed and whimpered out a strangled “Yeah? Well, you know babe, I try to look good in everything I do.” and he again shrugged nervously. 

Callum shifted from one foot to the other and Ben shivered in anticipation of something, but he didn’t know what. He was surprised to realise that he’d started to bead sweat while his dick was stiffening rapidly under Callum’s intense gaze. . He closed his eyes to take a breath and the next thing he was aware of was that Callum had silently moved and was now right next to him, leaning back against the counter. He felt his breathing become ragged and Jesus, this situation was something else, but he was willing to go along with it, intrigued as to the destination. 

“Are you okay?” Callum asked and he moved his hand to Ben's head pushing his fingers through the tuft of hair at the front, swiping some sweat beads with his fingertip, which he proceeded to lick. Ben cleared his throat to mask a whimper.

“Yeah, yeah.” He decided to look him in eye, see if he could read anything now. His dick twitched as he saw only dark hunger; but it felt like Callum was mulling it over, whether he would give in to the dark, or pull himself back from this brink. Ben was in too deep now though and needed to see where dark Callum would take him, and he knew his best chance was to continue playing the innocent, so he took a marshmallow, placing half between his teeth and then playfully stretching up, he offered to share. Callum bent down to take his half, smothering the dusty mallow with his lips and gripping only lightly with his teeth, but instead of biting, he slowly sucked, forcing Ben to bite harder if he was to retain any piece of the sweet. Callum was rewarded not only with the tasty treat, but also with the most delicious moan that Ben made as he sucked. Ben leaned his head into Callum, breathing heavily. “Christ, Callum. You’re so fucking good at this. So. Fucking. Hot.”

“You really think so?” Callum asked and while the question maybe indicated a lack of confidence, the slow, low growl with which he asked belied any insecurities. 

“I already want to take tomorrow off.” Ben pushed his lips forward hoping Callum would try to devour him, and he wasn’t disappointed when their lips met and rough stubble scraped at his chin. Ben was losing himself to the kiss and to Callum; for someone who was normally demanded control, especially when it came to sex, he didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on and willing to be undone.

“Please, Callum.” he panted, his tone pleading while balling his fists in his scruffy tee-shirt “Take me to bed.” Needing no further prompting and still with lips locked, Callum manhandled him all the way to his bedroom, crashing him into walls and doors, pawing and discarding his clothing as they went. 

He was being rough with Ben, who was moaning encouragement into his mouth, but he wasn’t like a man possessed, he was focused, more like a man on a mission. He had been so angry with Stuart, daring to come into his home, and throw his weight and poison around. Callum had been feeling conflicted enough, wrestling with all this without having to deal with the toxic masculinity bullshit opinions of his Neanderthal brother. 

He hadn’t really meant it when he was shouting about sucking dicks, that was just lashing out, but the argument had left him feeling hot with the urge to assert himself; prove to himself that he was allowed to have these feelings, that how he felt about Ben was real and valid - that what he was feeling wasn’t dirty or wrong but was beautiful and special and right. All adjectives that could equally apply to the sounds coming from Ben as his large hands roamed his body, stroking here, tweaking there, teasing everywhere while he sucked roughly on his neck, his mark instantly blooming before being tended by baby soft kisses. 

Ben was breathily repeating Callum’s name like a mantra as his body became lost in all the delicious sensations that Callum's mouth and hands were triggering. He’d loved doing everything he did to Callum on the Saturday night and now giving in to this… foreplay had never really been his thing, not since he split from first love with a shattered heart, but now he felt he needed it like a drug. 

Callum kissed his way back up to Ben's lips, and looked at him intensely, his eyes virtually black with intent. “You tell me if I do something wrong or something you don’t like, okay?” The question again seeming to point to a lack of confidence but as before, his voice was strong and sure. Ben nodded earnestly, as his tummy flipped in anticipation of what this serious and determined Callum might do and he had a feeling he wouldn't have to do much coaching. 

Callum’s senses were heightened and every brush of his fingertips and every placement of lips on Ben’s skin felt life affirming. The moans and shivers of Ben beneath him, and the pleasure he felt knowing it was because of something he was doing – it couldn’t be anything but right and natural. The opposite of what his brother had decreed. How was it wrong that when he circled Ben’s nipple with his tongue before taking it between his teeth and sucking, that he felt the body writhe below him, the sweetest hums coming from both their throats, and Ben pushing his ever-hardening cock up and into his belly, as it desperately sought friction, leaving a trail of sticky dampness as it oozed desire from its tip. God, this was anything but wrong, and the overwhelming want to have Ben in his mouth was anything but unnatural. He swiftly peppered kisses down Ben’s body, needing to take himself in his hand when his lips pressed into the softness of his belly, feeling the tickled flutters it caused, and hearing the rapid increase in his lover’s breathing. As he kissed his way lower, he softly nosed at the goody trail leading down, and feeling Ben's pubes feather his chin, he stopped to groan noisily, pushing his face into Ben as he felt he was consuming and being consumed at the same time. Ben’s hands gently grabbed at his hair, and as his fingers threaded, he was pulling little clumps here and there and fuck, if it didn’t make Callum even harder, this little bit of roughness. He descended lower, giving Ben’s straining cock a smattering of kitten soft licks and kisses, and then he kissed his balls before sucking one into his mouth, rolling it with his tongue. He felt the pulls on his hair get stronger and heard Ben call out his name and it made him want to come on the spot and so he hummed, his body needing some outlet for this sensory overload. As soon as he did, he felt the body fold away from him as Ben tugged his head up, urgent cries of “Callum, babe, babe, baby” pulling him from his trance. 

Ben had been feeling all kinds of delicious pleasures, some sensations long forgotten and some new as he surrendered underneath Callum’s lips and fingertips. How could this rookie baby gay be capable of doing this to him? Experienced Ben, Ben who’d had hundreds of men do all sort of things to him now unravelling like a virgin at his touches, but as Callum had hummed with a ball in mouth, his strong tongue gently caressing as it rolled him – he was seconds away from being totally undone. He had to stop him, needing to be fully in his mouth, needing to fulfil the fantasy of fucking Callum’s mouth as the big round blues slowly blinked and looked up him – he couldn’t allow himself to come before that, so he’d pulled him off, desperate not to tip over the edge just yet. 

As Ben looked down at this gifted novice, ocean blue concern blinked back at him, and he need to urgently reassure that no mistakes had been made. “Babe I was about to come and, I can’t yet. Not without you sucking me off. I _cannot_ deny myself that.”

Callum crawled back up to be face to face with him, eyes still a little unsure. “Really?”

“Cal, I can’t tell you how fucking good you are at this. Babe, you’re a natural.” And he smiled wide and true, and Callum noticed for the first time that Ben had a tiny little dimple that popped on the right side of his face and he quickly bent to kiss it before it disappeared. Ben turned his face, needing Callum’s lips on his own now, to give him life and air to breathe and Callum, who had emotionally grabbed Ben’s words “you’re a natural" and was clinging to them like a lifebelt, surged like he was riding a wave and kissed him back, his lips being a shore Callum would gladly wreck himself on. 

Soft to start, the kiss became hot and hard quickly and both men ground into each other, the scorching flames of passion needing little incitement to roar back to life after being tamped down for a moments respite. Callum buoyed by the verbal and obvious physical encouragement, became brave again as he lost himself in this kiss that was now wet and dirty as tongues battled for dominance. He took both of their dicks in his hand, his thumb slick with pre-cum as he pressed on Ben’s slit, and Ben responded like he was choking, gasping into his mouth, the reaction deeming Callum the winner of this little skirmish. Callum moved his lips along Ben’s jaw, letting him recover his breathing and as he got to Ben’s ear he whispered in a husky growl “Ben. So you want to fuck my mouth?” 

“Oh, fuck yes" came Ben’s reply, and his voice was a whimper. 

“Tell me.” and Ben was surprised at Callum’s gruff instruction. 

They locked eyes and Callum’s blue had gone, replaced wholly with dark, glinting like a black diamond, all desire and lust. Ben swallowed hard at the sight. 

“Tell me!” the instruction now more an order and Ben could only whisper in reply.

“I wanna fuck your mouth" and he groaned loudly as Callum pressed the tip of his dick again. 

“I can’t hear you"

Fuck, Ben thought. Assertive Callum was goddamn hot. Who knew? He gasped a little louder “I want to fuck your mouth, Cal.”

“What?” Callum’s voice was steely. “I wanna fuck your mouth" Ben had found his voice, as Callum's grip and speed increased on their dicks. “oh Jesus please let me fuck your mouth. Let me fuck your mouth, fuck Callum, I need to fuck it so fucking hard"

Callum still had both of them in his hand, but began teasing Ben, as he could feel him try to increase the rhythm of his dick, so he slowed his pace loosening his hold until Ben slowed down, at which point he would grip again and Ben became a mess below him. 

“Would you like to come in my mouth?”

Fuck, Ben thought again. He was lying with a fucking demon. He managed to let out a strangled “yesss" as Callum began to make his way lower again.

“What was that?” he asked as he scattered kisses on his way. 

“Yes, yes, I want to come in your mouth. I want to fuck your mouth hard til I come and watch you swallow my load.” And he sharply inhaled as Callum bit down on the side of his torso, sucking fast and hard, leaving a huge purple blossom as he felt Ben's hands push his head down. “Jesus, fuck Callum, if you don’t suck me now, it’s gonna be too late!” Callum had him pleading now, and fuck Ben Mitchell never begged before in his life but he was begging now. “Please, please!” and at last he got the relief he sought as Callum licked his tip before quickly swallowing him whole. 

He didn’t set any rhythm yet, just getting used to the feeling of Ben’s dick in his mouth, sweeping his tongue around the throbbing intruder, swallowing saliva and realising teeth could get in the way easily. He pulled back, placing his hand at the base and just admired - he'd looked before, of course he had, but he hadn’t stared and appraised. He thought it was beautiful, not as big as his own, but it wasn’t small, not at all, and it had girth, a fact his hand already knew, but his mouth would need to learn how to take it without his teeth scouring the width. Ben looked down silently and watched as Callum studied him, glad for the break as he was sure if Callum had launched into pumping with his mouth immediately, three or four sucks in and it would have been all over. 

Callum put his lips back on the tip of Ben, like the way he’d seen advertisers have women eat round chocolates, plump lips blooming around the engorgement, and Ben’s breath hitched as he watched, Callum’s expression, even with his eyes closed, intense and full of concentration. Fuck, he had to see those eyes, he wanted what he’d seen when Callum had just licked him the other night and he whispered softly, “Cal, babe, look at me.” Callum blinked a couple of times before slowly raising his lashes then focusing his gaze and Ben body lost all breath. There it was. That look, so fucking innocent and so fucking sinful all at the same time. Whatever happened in his life he never wanted to forget this image – this stunning man, just discovering who he truly was, focusing hard to learn how to pleasure another man the way he might want to be pleasured, his instincts so right, as he drew Ben’s length into his mouth, his tongue like a bed, allowing his dick to sink into the warm softness, the hollowing of his cheeks as he sucked, and those eyes, oh sweet Jesus those eyes, so clear and virtuous yet glinting with dirty want, hinting at a desire to be corrupted - Ben would trade every other sexual memory he had just to have this one be there anytime he closed his eyes. 

Callum soon found a rhythm, his head bobbing up and down but he never tore his gaze from Ben, who had his hands in that mop of hair again, pulling and pushing in the same rhythm. He began to thrust his hips up, watching himself do what Callum had made him beg for, and he fucked that beautiful mouth, with those beautiful lips, which even though Callum had pulled them in a little to cover his teeth, were so swollen there was enough plumpness left to view as they slid up and down his shaft, and the tongue, pulling and flexing, drawing him in so deep at times that Ben’s tip butted the back of his throat. It didn’t take long, and if it had been with anyone else Ben might have felt embarrassed at how little time it took, but with one final thrust, he pumped his spunk into Cal's mouth, crying out his name, tugging hard at his hair, throbbing as Callum drew him in hard, gulping down all Ben could give him and drawing for more, trying to suck him dry. Ben collapsed deeper back into the bed, an arm over his eyes as he panted and hiccoughed, his body glistening with a sheen of sweat as it shuddered, riding the last of these climactic waves. He could feel the bed still move, Callum working himself now, and he felt a damp pooling on his belly so raised his arm to look and what a fucking vision… Callum was drooling some of Ben’s cum, his eyes blown, hair everywhere, bouncing with every movement, and then he came too, on the wreckage that was Ben, his hot spurts pooling with Ben’s, his grunts going straight to Ben’s dick, which although lifeless and spent, still twitched ever so slightly. What happened next was also something Ben never, ever wanted to forget as Callum collapsed onto both arms that were trembling either side of him, before he dipped his head, lapping at the puddle of their combined cum, moving upwards and letting the liquid dribble on Ben’s lips before his body slowly dropped down and he captured Ben in their dirtiest kiss yet. 

As he passed out with pleasure, Ben’s last thought was for God to save him from this man. As Callum’s own body succumbed to sated slumber, his last thought was if being a gay man was wrong, he never wanted to be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough to those who comment, especially those who comment regularly - you don't know what it means to me and how much it helps! Always sooo appreciated! ❤️


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